Addicted To Adoption

Johnson Family Tries To Bring Home Russian Daughter

2010-06-25T22:25:00.000-07:00

http://rebeccajmarinecorpswife.blogspot.com/2010/06/portrait-giveaway-by-national-portrait.html

"Friday, June 25, 2010
Portrait Giveaway by National Portrait Artist!!!

We have our first Giveaway to announce!!! This is a HUGE Giveaway!!! Patricia McMahon Rice, a National Portrait Artist ( http://patriciaricestudio.com/ ) has donated a portrait to help us bring our daughter home!!! This artist's portraits can cost up to $3,400 depending on the style and size of the portrait!!!

Anyone donating a minimum of $20 will be entered once in the giveway!! Anyone making a donation of $50 or more will be entered in the giveaway THREE times!!! Anyone who donates $100 or more will be entered into the giveaway TEN times!!!

Anyone who has entered the drawing but also posts a link to the giveaway on their blog, website or Facebook will automatically have one additional entry in the drawing!! If you post a link to the giveaway let me know by emailing me at Rebecca.L.Johnson@hotmail.com with the link to your blog, website or Facebook!! As soon as we're able to verify that someone who has entered the giveaway has posted a link to our giveaway we'll add an additional entry to the giveaway in your name!!!

I'm picking my favorite type of portrait for the giveaway!!! The winner of the giveaway will receive a pastel head and shoulders portrait of anyone they choose!! The artist will do the portrait off of photos chosen by the winner or if the winner is local to the artist (she is located in Northern Virginia just outside of Washington DC) they can arrange for a photo shoot with the artist!! This means you don't have to live in the local area to enter the giveaway!! The winner of the giveaway will have the option to upgrade their portrait to another style of portrait (oil, black and white charcoal etc) or to add addition people to the portrait or increase the size of the portrait. However they will have to make arrangements with the artist to pay the difference in price between the portrait they have won and the added people/size/style.

For more information on the artist check out her bio: http://patriciaricestudio.com/bio/ .

For families who are local to Virginia, Maryland or Washington DC the artist has also donated a semester of classes in her private home studio in Northern Virginia. This will be offered as our second giveaway!! This giveaway will last for 8 weeks!! The winner will be announced by the end of August!! Classes are offered for both kids and adults in many different art styles including: pastels, oils, charcoal, graphite, clay, photography and more. Classes are offered in the fall, winter and spring and compressed classes which run all day for a week are offered during the summer.
For more information on this artists classes check out her class information at: http://patriciaricestudio.com/classes/ .
All funds raised by this giveaway will go towards final travel costs to bring our daughter home from Russia!! Our daughter is currently in the hospital following spinal surgery. Please help us bring our daughter home!!"

My Daughter Is Missing!

2010-05-27T21:24:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I went through about 40 minutes of pure terror. I now have a brief glimpse into what mothers of missing children endure every day. I couldn't imagine having that kind of grief and horror in my world for days, weeks, months or even years. God help me, but I could barely think of the two kids who were at my side. I knew MJ needed to eat and M needed to help me babysit so I could focus my attention where it needed to be, but I couldn't make myself accomplish any of that. All I could do was watch out the window for my daughter as I waited for the police to arrive.

Okay, that all sounds a bit melodramtic, so I had best explain...

C went on a field trip today to the state School For The Deaf. It is nearly 2 hours away. Yesterday morning C's busdriver asked if C would need transportation today or if I would provide transportation. I explained that Matt was out of the area because he was attending his mother's funeral (sending much love and many prayers with her soul) so I was not in a position to provide transportation. She said that it would be no problem, but that C would be picked up about an hour earlier.

So, 7:00am comes rolling around and here comes the bus. C gets on and I followed to buckle her up (as I do every other time I put her on the bus). As I was departing, I asked her driver when I could expext C to be dropped off. She said, "I don't know, but I'll just honk as I drive by." Every day, the bus passes our house in order to make a u-turn at the end of the block and drops C off on the return route (a 2 minute trip during which time I can see the bus).

4:10pm comes and goes... Okay, so she'll be a bit later than usual. 4:30pm... Hmmmm, they're going to be really late. 5:00 hits and my heart stars beating... I had better call Transportation. I took my time, thinking that nothing could be wrong. By the time I got around to phoning it was 5:11pm.

As soon as the operator answered the phone I explained that I was just checking on my daughter's status. I just wanted to know when I could expect the bus and if they were still on their way back from the southern school. "What do you mean? All our busses are back." This, of course, made me panic instantly (as I don't do well with someone misplacing my kids). She said, "Let me check with a few people and I'll call you back."

Nearly 10 minutes later she finally calls me back and says, "C never got on the bus so we don't know where she is."

WHAT THE F*^@?!?! And yes, that did come out of my mouth! At this point I began screaming and demanded that they find my child. The lady kept telling me, "Calm down ma'am or I can't help you." Calm down my rear! This is my child we are talking about and she's missing! I explained that they needed to find my daughter or I would need to call 911!!! What else was I going to do? She then suggested I call her school and find out if they knew where my daughter was. The lady asked if I wanted the phone number. Since that was FAR more expedient than looking it up myself I said, "Yes.... And don't you leave that office until I call you back!" So, did she give me the number? Nope.... The B*#&% hung up on me!!! SERIOUSLY?!?

I, of course called back and demanded to speak to her supervisor (who then repeated teh "Calm down or I won't help you" phrase). I got the phone number, repeated my "Don't you dare leave" demand and called the school... Was there an answer? Nope. Just the recording that tells the school hours of opperation. So, I called Transportation back again. And do you want to know what that woman said?

"I think you should call 911!"

OH CRAP!!! Needless to say, I totally lost it. I, yet again, told them not to leave until my daughter was found as I was hanging up the phone.

In the next instant I'm screaming on the phone to the post dispatcher. She was telling me to calm down and all I wanted to do was scream that she had to be joking... My daughter is missing and she wants me to calm down? How insane is that?

Suffice it to say, I'm suprised I didn't have the entire block outside looking at me or seeing what was going on because I was screaming so loudly that my throat is still aching (and it's been nearly 4 hours).

I paced to different windows wondering if C would be able to find her way home on the off chance that she did get on a bus and got dropped off somewhere. As I stood outside waiting for the patrol car to pull up I was praying for C's safety and hoping against all hope that someone didn't kidnap her and yet hoping against hope that someone find her and would be able to understand her signing.

The feelings of pure helplessness that I endured for those short but long lasting moments of my day were so overwhelming that even now I can't seem to shake this overwhelming feeling of nausea and sadness.

Thankfully, at nearly the same instant (around 5:45pm) the school Transportation officed and 911 called back to tell me that C was still on her way home from the school for the deaf and would be arriving at her school around 6:00pm where I needed to pick her up.

WHAT?!? Seriously? I don't recall reading that on the permission slip. And I still had every right to be upset and angry because I was asked if I needed transportation provided ("Yes, please"), I asked what time she would be dropped off ("I'll honk as I drive by"), which indicated that they would bring her home, if they weren't then they should have called since the bus driver verified that she would bring her home, and the Transportation office should always know which students they are picking up/dropping off and which of their regular students they are not picking up/dropping off and why. Had Transportation had this information available and told me that I was supposed to pick her up at the school then that would have solved half of the problem.

Dare I say that when Transportation called me back for the final time and told me that they had found my daughter (which they should have done in the first place instead of telling me to call 911 because they didn't know where my kid was) then there would have been no problem... Because this whole thing started because I was calling to verify where C was at and what time I could expect her back... And guess what? That's the information that they gave me on that final call... My reply? "I F'ing HATE YOU PEOPLE!" with a swift hang-up!

The 911 operator? "Thank you sooooo much and I am soooo sorry for all of this." She gave a swift laugh of relief and, with a smile in her tone, said, "No problem. It's my job." She then worried about whether or not I would be mentally stable to drive. What else could I do? I had to pick up my daughter and I had to drive, so I called my parents to vent, pulled it together and drove my scared rear into town!

C is home, safe and sound... And I'm so relieved (though Matt laughed at me like I was an idot, but hey... what can I say?). Sigh........

Update... Has it really been that long since the last post?

2010-05-07T22:06:00.001-07:00

Okay, so it's been a looooong time since I posted any sort of real update (not including the update regarding C tonight).

MJ is growing like crazy-cakes! He is easily wearing 12 month clothes and 18 month jammies. He learned how to walk using the furniture about 2 weeks ago and M and C are both helping him walk about the house (it's absolutely adorable). It was fabulous because one day he sort of figured out how to walk. I had been infrequently attempting to teach him how to walk since March. But suddenly he figured it out. Now he wants to walk around the house and will actually try to let go and take off by himself. Of course, he instantly falls down and cries out of pure frustration. But at least he tries. His two top teeth came in just a week or two ago and both within a week of each other. They were a long time coming, but now that they're through we have peace in the house again (for the most part). MJ is eating table food infrequently. He likes it a little bit, but he definitely prefers the jars of baby food. He sucks on the bottle like a professional but he has trouble learning how to chew. So, needless to say, he doesn't eat too much table food. He does love his Num-Nums, though! ;)

M is doing GREAT! He earned an award yesterday for making good choices. He got "caught" applogizing! So, Matt went to work and told his co-workers what M received his award for. They were really smart... "Hmmm... So, a kid can beat up another kid and if he appologizes without being told to he can get an award?" LOL! Of course, I don't know what M did that he would need to appologize, but I'm glad he did say sorry.

On the other hand, M pulled a good one on us today! We arrived home today from our walk home from school and stood outside chatting with our neighbor. As she and I chatted our two kiddos played. Just as I was getting ready to go inside her daughter came up and showed her mom what M had just given her. Mom said, "He gave you $20?!?" Of course, this startled me because, heavens, where does a 7-year-old get $20? After much interogation (on our drive to my hair appointment... A Mother's Day gift from my beloved husband) I learned he stole the money! Not that it makes it any better, but, he stole it from C who had been saving it from her birthday (to my surprise, since I thought I had deposited all of her money months ago). I tried to get Matt to cancel my appoinment so we could take M to the police station. I thought it would be good for him to have the living crap scared out of him for stealing! But, Matt said no and we are still discussing what we are going to do to punish M.

C is doing very well. She's bursting into tears at school and, on the bus, is being rude by calling her fellow students names and such. Of course, tonight, as part of my Mother's Day gift, we went out to Olive Garden where C proceeded to make fun of and be obnoxious to a very overweight lady. And I mean she was rude! She actually signed, "That lady is FAT! That's bad. She doesn't need to be so FAT!" And she kept going on and on, no matter how much I was telling her to stop! I was doing my best not to turn beat red from embarrassment as she totally ignored my demands. But, I finally figured out (once my brain started working) to take C to the bathroom and get onto her there. I think I got her to understand that she was awful and mean to that lady, but I just know it will happen again because this is not the first time she has said things of this nature.

So, what a Mother's Day gift... A son who steals money and a daughter who is rude and obnoxious to overweight people! God help me!!! Please!!! ;)

Anual Opthamology Appointment

2010-05-07T21:42:00.000-07:00

C had a fun and semi-interesting, though confusing, doctor's appointment this morning. She saw an Opthamologist who took one look at her records and said, as she blanched, "I think your daughter needs to see the Pediatric Opthamologist. I'll put that referral in today!"

Great! :( There goes another 2 or 3 months of waiting to see another eye doctor. But, such is life, right!?!

In the mean time, the doctor did give C a quick exam and found that, though her eyes did deteriorate, they did not have significant issues (at least prescription wise). C went from a +2.50 and a +2.75 (with each eye having a .50 astigmatism) to a +4.00. She said that C's current glasses would be fine until she can get a more accurate assessment from the Pediatric Specialist.

I also explained that C is complaining about it being "dark" a lot. The doctor said that this was a direct result of the Retinitis Pigmentosa and that the specialist would need to check the degree of deterioration at his appointment. So, though the prescription didn't change dramatically, the RP could have.

For example, on Wednesday morning at 7:30-ish, I was signing to C in the livingroom. The curtains were all open, but the lights were off. It was overcast, so it wasn't as bright in the room as it would normally have been, but it wasn't dark enough to warrant the use of lights. But as I was signing to C, she complained about not being able to see me, so I had to turn on the lights in order for her to be able to effectively understand my signing. Talk about hitting home! If I had any doubts before that C was loosing her eye-sight this totally threw that out the window.

What's fun, though, is that C came home from school yesterday with "fun homework". It wasn't a requirement, but her teacher sent home a little project with his students. He explained that there was a student in the class who had to learn braille and that he thought it would be "fun" for everyone to get involved. I burst into tears as soon as I read that, both from gratitude that he would involve his class like that and at the realization that C would soon need to utilize Braille to read.

When the VI specialist (in California) told me C was learning "Braille" she explained that she was only going to start teaching how to find the beginning and ending of lines and that she wouldn't be learning actual Braille for quite some time (though I could have totally misunderstood what she was explaining). Here they have chosen to take a more direct route and actually teach Braille itself. I was surprised when I read C homework because when the VI teacher and I spoke I understood that she would teach the same things C had been learning previously rather than learning actual braille... But, hey, at the rate things seem to be going with C this might be a better route!

And, yes, it seems C might actually become legally blind by her late teens/early twenties (according to several people who work closely with people who have Usher Syndrome). I had, for some reason, had it in my head that C would have her sight until she was 40 or 50 years old. It's still a possibility, but the way things look to be progressing that's not too likely.

Come on... Really? Has it come to this?

2010-04-28T18:36:00.000-07:00

I read the following (http://www.inc.com/news/articles/2010/04/sprint-fires-employees-for-pursuing-shoplifter.html?partner=yahoobuzz) on Inc.com. It is a story about two guys who were fired for trying to capture an alleged shoplifter. The article also sites a few other stores who also fired folks for chasing shoplifters. Come on... Really? Has this what it has come to in America? When a person can get fired for doing a good deed? When a person can get sued for trying using CPR to help save a life? When a person can go to jail for protecting his family? Give me a break!!! I am so tired of all the political correctness and the sue happy people we live with. What happened to the "Land Of The Free"? I guess Sprint has the "freedom" to fire employees who are attempting to do a good deed... Those guys need to be given a raise!!! They should have been honored as heroes instead of fired as if THEY had been the ones to lift merchandise. And we wonder why our youth are getting away with so much bad behavior? We are modeling this behavior by letting criminals go free for lack of evidence and butchering a man's life for doing a good deed. What a sad state our country is in if this is what we are going to teach our children!!! Shame on you Sprint, Walmart and Best-Buy!!!

Two retail employees say they were fired last week after they chased down a suspected shoplifter.

Wait: The tale gets even loopier. The men – Paul Shoemaker and Mike McGee – apparently were on their break and chasing an alleged store shoplifter not in their store, but in an adjacent Apple Store.

The pair were heading out of the Sprint store where they used to work in Denver's Cherry Creek Mall when they came upon a frantic security guard in the hall. "[He] came right basically in front of us, and was like, 'Help me, Help me.' Out of breath. You could totally hear he was distraught," Shoemaker told Denver's 7News.

The pair pitched in to help capture the alleged shoplifter.

"It's the way I was raised as a kid," McGee said. "You see something that's going on wrong you step in and try to help whatever way you can."

The trouble started after the suspect was carted off. Sprint's corporate policy states that employees should not chase shoplifters, though the men argue they were on break and it wasn't even Sprint's merchandise they were seeking to retrieve. Sprint declined to comment, citing privacy concerns.

The firing isn't without precedent. In October Walmart fired an Ocala branch's loss prevention officer for chasing a man allegedly trying to steal golf balls. And in August 2009, two college-age Best Buy employees were fired from a Broomfield, Colorado Best Buy after tackling an alleged shoplifter. A Best Buy spokeswoman said all employees "are aware, and trained, on the standard operating procedures for dealing with shoplifting or theft – which includes ceasing pursuit of a suspected shoplifter once they exit the store." This, she said, was for the safety of employees.

So should you fire an employee for pursuing a thief? Only you can decide the "should," but legally you are able to do so.

Employment lawyer Frank Steinberg blogged about the Walmart case that the chain "was clearly within its rights to set a policy on how shoplifting incidents were to be handled and to decide that the guard's violation of that policy warranted termination."

In fact, having a policy about how employees should handle shoplifting or any crime they witness on the job is seen as a smart move legally, because it can protect you from liability in the event someone is hurt. Judgments in these cases are rare, but can reach into the hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars.

In Texas, for example, a shoplifter – his lawyer says he admits to the crime – is suing Walmart for $100,000 over the dislocated shoulder he claims employees inflicted on him.

Separately, the Houston Chronicle reported the company paid nearly $750,000 as part of a settlement to the family of a 30-year-old alleged shoplifter who died of a heart attack as employees tried to stop him. (The items he was accused of stealing: a package of diapers, a pair of sunglasses, a BB gun, and a package of BBs.)

Whether the good Samaritans in Denver deserved to be terminated is another question; how you train your staff to handle loss prevention is one of those tricky matters you probably never considered when you first started your business.

The Fallout Spreads...

2010-04-15T10:24:00.000-07:00

I copied the following article from Rainbow Kids. It was written by adoption advocate Martha Osborne and clearly and concisely expresses the fine line that adoptive families must walk...

"Sad, sad news over the last week. There has been great outrage, anger, blame and finger pointing over the disrupted adoption of a 7-year-old Russian child and his abrupt return to Russia over this last week. Today it has been announced that Russia will suspend adoptions to the USA. During this time, I have wondered, "where is the outrage for the thousands of children who are housed in hopeless institutions with minimal care and daily abuse from the other children?"

The exact conditions that may have traumatized this young child and greatly contributed to this situation, are barely mentioned. No one absolves the mother.She had options and chose to do something outrageous and selfish. But her actions are only one part of this. The unspoken rule is that those of us who work to find homes for these children must never, never criticize the governments that allow these wretched institutions to continue. Adoptive parents must be grateful...and silent, to insure that international adoption continues, and a few lucky children find peace in a family of their own. Volunteers must quietly work to make changes in the orphanages, for fear of offending those in power. Yes, this story makes me very upset, and sad for all of the children who will now continue to suffer. And for the families who have waited, longingly, to give their love to these children.

And now we wait, with our only hope once again in the hands of government policy makers. I suggest that the meeting scheduled for the 20th take place in the largest, most rural orphanage that can be found in Russia. Let our governments meet, and come to their decision, surrounded by the children's lives and futures that hang in the balance. --Martha Osborne"

Political Posts

2010-04-11T08:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm doing something I rarely do... I'm posting a few political posts. So, this is your forewarning; if you don't want to read political crap, then I suggest you not scroll down, do not read the following posts and stop reading now! ;)

I am not a Repulican and I am not a Democrat... But I am an AMERICAN and I am so tired of all the bickering and anti-work-together attitude that has been plaguing our politicians for the last 20 or 30 years. I am seriously tired of our politicians NOT listening to their constituants and moving forward with bills and plans that go against what we elected them to do.

And yes, before you ask... I am Anti-Obama! I just seriously cannot stand his views (personal or public). He's a fabulous speaker, as is his wife, but that's where my admiration ends. He's a scary man. And though I can't say that I believe all the rumors that are running rampant about him, there are many FACTS that have been (and continue to be) put out there for us to see (like his Health Care Bill that he just completely ignored dang near EVERY AMERICAN about) that SCREAM at us to take him out of office! And I don't care if I'm suddenly on a watch list. It's my job, as an AMERICAN CITIZEN to monitor all that our elected officials do and to voice my thoughts, concerns and opinions to all who will listen, especially to those elected officials.

I want my children to grow up in a FREE COUNTRY, and I'm truly afraid that those freedoms that our forefathers died for and that our men and women of the Armed Forces continue to die for are slowly being taken away from us. It's truly sad when my cousins in Italy tell us that this President is taking us down the same road they traveled years earlier when they became a communistic/socialistic country. And we aren't even noticing it's happening!

I am just TIRED of all the backstabbling politics; the inclusion of crappy laws inside bills that are meant to be great. A bill is 50,000 pages long (ok, so I don't know the true number of pages, but I've seen pictures of politicians reading the stacks of paper in just 1 bill). What is in all those pages? Well, let's see... It's promises to this Senator or that Representative for something specific for their state so they will vote for the bill. It's Bribery!!! It's passing a seatbelt law that also has an abortion law attached (okay, so that might be an exaggeration, but you get the idea)! Seriously... I'm tired of all the back-door politics that are slowly robbing our people of the rights that our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, brothers and sisters all fought and continue to fight for.

This next election I want a plain Joe/Jane to be my President. I want someone who will be honest and caring. I want someone who doesn't have specific political ties to a particular group and who will work willingly with congress and who CONGRESS will work willing with, too. I want someone who can put our country and our needs before his/her own ambitions. I want someone who will pay for his/her own vacations and who will do the job he/she is paid to do. I want someone who will pull out of a war zone if that's what he/she promises and who will demolish our enemies when necessary (no matter the cost) if that's what it takes. I want a TRUE LEADER who will follow through with his/her promises! Who is our next President?!?

Come on America... Show us what you've got!!!

"Our European arrogance in alphabetical order..."

2010-04-11T08:02:00.000-07:00

Our European arrogance in alphabetical order:
1. The American Cemetery at Aisne-Marne,
France.. A total of 2289

2. The American Cemetery at Ardennes , Belgium.
A total of 5329

3. The American Cemetery at Brittany, France .
A total of 4410

4. Brookwood , EnglandAmerican Cemetery. A total of 468

5. Cambridge , England .. 3812

6. Epinal , FranceAmerican Cemetery. A total of 5525

7. Flanders Field, Belgium .. A total of 368

8. Florence , Italy. A total of 4402

9. Henri-Chapelle, Belgium . A total of 7992

10. Lorraine , France . A total of 10,489

11. Luxembourg , Luxembourg. A total of 5076

12. Meuse-Argonne. A total of 14246

13. Netherlands , Netherlands . A total of 8301

14. Normandy , France . A total of 9387

15. Oise-Aisne , France . A total of 6012

16. Rhone , France . A total of 861

17. Sicily , Italy. A total of 7861

18. Somme , France . A total of 1844

19. St.. Mihiel , France . A total of 4153

20. Suresnes , France . a total of 1541

Apologize to no one. Remind those of our sacrifice and don't confuse arrogance with leadership. The count is 104,366 dead brave Americans. And we have to watch an American elected leader who apologizes to Europe and the Middle East that our country is "arrogant"!
HOW MANY FRENCH, DUTCH, ITALIANS, BELGIANS AND BRITS ARE BURIED ON OUR SOIL, DEFENDING US AGAINST OUR ENEMIES? WE DON'T ASK FOR PRAISE ... BUT WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE!!
PLEASE---- THINK ABOUT THIS.
THANK YOU. GOD BLESS!
I hope you remember this when election time comes around again...

"Truly Remarkable!"

2010-04-11T07:59:00.000-07:00

I THINK IT IS REMARKABLE THAT WITHIN A WEEK OF TIGER WOODS CRASHING HIS
ESCALADE, THE PRESS FOUND EVERY WOMAN WITH WHOM TIGER HAS HAD AN AFFAIR
IN THE LAST FEW YEARS, WITH PHOTOS, TEXT MESSAGES, RECORDED PHONE CALLS, ETC.
AND, THEY NOT ONLY KNOW THE CAUSE OF THE FAMILY FIGHT, BUT THEY EVEN KNOW IT
WAS A WEDGE FROM HIS GOLF BAG THAT HIS WIFE USED TO BREAK OUT THE WINDOWS
IN THE ESCALADE. NOT ONLY THAT, THEY KNOW WHICH WEDGE!
AND EACH AND EVER DAY, THEY GIVE AMERICA MORE UPDATES ON HIS SEX-REHAB STAY,
HIS WIFE’S PLANS FOR DIVORCE, AND HIS PLANS TO RETURN TO THE PRO-GOLF CIRCUIT.

OBAMA HAS BEEN IN OFFICE FOR OVER A YEAR NOW, AND THIS SAME PRESS STILL
CANNOT LOCATE OBAMA'S OFFICIAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE, OR ANY OF HIS PAPERS WHILE
IN COLLEGE, OR HOW HE PAID FOR A HARVARD EDUCATION, OR WHICH COUNTRY
ISSUED HIS VISA TO TRAVEL TO PAKISTAN IN THE 1980'S AS BARRY SORETORO AND
EVEN MICHELLE OBAMA’S PRINCETON THESIS ON RACISIM. IT JUST CAN’T BE FOUND?
YET THE PUBLIC STILL TRUSTS THAT SAME PRESS TO GIVE THEM
THE WHOLE TRUTH . . . TRULY REMARKABLE!

A Reality Check

2010-04-09T19:40:00.000-07:00

In my previous post, I pasted a news report about a little boy who was adopted and "returned (as if he were a dress that didn't fit properly) from/to Russia this past September. I felt that there is an important topic that rarely gets attention burried within the piece...

It is a sad reality that the children we adopt will come home to us with psycological issues. These are children who have experienced things that no child should be required to endure... Abandoment by or death of a parent, abuse, neglect, molestion, just to name a few! And we, as adoptive parents, cannot get past the ideals that we envision, no matter how much education is presented to us.

I can remember the course we took (PRIDE) when we adopted our first child. We adopted through Foster Care, so we were given this idea that any child we brought home would need extra patience due to the extremely difficult life the child had lived to that point (and boy did M put us to the test).

Truth be told, we listened to the instructor but we didn't "Hear" her. I mean we didn't truly hear what we were being taught. We thought "That won't happen to us" or we believed that we could deal easily with whatever was thrown our way because we wanted kids so badly. But we didn't have a true sense of what we would truly be dealing with...

How bad are withdrawls in a 2 or 3 months old? How desperate can one get to have some semblance of normalcy with your new child? How hard could it be to adjust? And, if I were to be brutally honest, we thought that the child who was "given" to us would actually have to adjust to us. How stupid could 2 adults be?

Ignorance is not an excuse, though. Adoptive parents can get true joy from their children. But it's not an easy road to traverse. These children are precious and they deserve to be loved and taught how to love. They need to be given a chance. And 3 months, 6 months or even 24 months may not be long enough to teach the child trust... Because that's where an adoptive parent needs to start... Teaching trust! Until your new child learns to trust you then you will not be able to bond with that child and that child will not be able to bond with you.

That's another difficulty that adoptive parents don't understand: When you adopt a child, you, as the adult, must teach your child how to love you... And you should be prepared that it could take years! There is no syrum that will instantly make your child love you. And there are some occassions where you must learn how to like or love your new child. It's not easy! It takes time and a lot of hard work by all parties.

Needless to say, I feel terrible for the little boy who was sent back to Russia. The route that was taken was awful. I trust WACAP (the agency that is involved) would have done all that they could to resolve this issue had they been made aware. But, as the grandmother states, the boy did not start showing signs of behavior issues until this past January... How sad that the mother couldn't work with her son longer than a couple of months. And how sad that she chose to dissolve her son's adoption in this horrific manner. I do not judge others for dissolving their adoptions because, again, adoption is difficult in the best of times, and we can never know what is happening behind closed doors. Besides, I also believe that a child should be placed elsewhere if the placement is not working out... He/She has teh right to have a loving and solid home and family. But I DO have a problem with the manner in which she "returned" the boy. It was almost as if she sent him back with a request for a refund because it was not what she had purchased. This child is not a commodity (no matter how many entities recieve money during an adoption). He is a human being with the right to have a loving family that he can enjoy and depend on. I only wish this mother would have taken the time to call WACAP and request help! Hell... I would have taken the boy!!!

Wll, my point in writing this post was to make people (who are interested) aware of the difficulties one WILL face during an adoption. It's not just the lengthy waits or the massive amounts of money that get doled out or the constant hoops one must jump through at, what seems, someone else's whim... But rather, it's the teaching of a child and the durress one must endure when trying to help your child understand all that has happened to him/her and the never-ending reassurance you must give to your child that they are truly loved and the facts that you learn over time about the time your child has spent in the orphanage that can be wearing.... BUT OH SO JOYOUS!

Sending prayers to this child in the hopes that he will, inevitably, be loved and cherrished by a family and he will grow up to be an amazing and well-adjusted adult!

Sadness in the World of Russian Adoption

2010-04-09T19:36:00.000-07:00

The following was copied and pasted from this link regarding the "return" of an adopted Russian boy: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100409/ap_on_re_eu/eu_russia_adopted_boy

Russia furious over adopted boy sent back from US

By NATALIYA VASILYEVA and KRISTIN M. HALL, Associated Press Writers Nataliya Vasilyeva And Kristin M. Hall, Associated Press Writers – 2 hrs 57 mins ago

MOSCOW – Russia threatened to suspend all child adoptions by U.S. families Friday after a 7-year-old boy adopted by a woman from Tennessee was sent alone on a one-way flight back to Moscow with a note saying he was violent and had severe psychological problems.

The boy, Artyom Savelyev, was put on a plane by his adopted grandmother, Nancy Hansen of Shelbyville.

"He drew a picture of our house burning down and he'll tell anybody that he's going to burn our house down with us in it," she told The Associated Press in a telephone interview. "It got to be where you feared for your safety. It was terrible."

Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov called the actions by the grandmother "the last straw" in a string of U.S. adoptions gone wrong, including three in which Russian children had died in the U.S.

In an exclusive interview with ABC News' George Stephanopoulos, Dmitry Medvedev said the boy "fell into a very bad family."

"It is a monstrous deed on the part of his adoptive parents, to take the kid and virtually throw him out with the airplane in the opposite direction and to say, 'I'm sorry I could not cope with it, take everything back' is not only immoral but also against the law," Medvedev said.

The cases have prompted outrage in Russia, where foreign adoption failures are reported prominently. Russian main TV networks ran extensive reports on the latest incident in their main evening news shows.

The Russian education ministry immediately suspended the license of the group involved in the adoption (the World Association for Children and Parents, a Renton, Washington-based agency) for the duration of an investigation. In Tennessee, authorities were investigating the adoptive mother, Torry Hansen, 33.

Any possible freeze could affect hundreds of American families. Last year, nearly 1,600 Russian children were adopted in the United States, and more than 60,000 Russian orphans have been successfully adopted there, according to the National Council For Adoption, a U.S. adoption advocacy nonprofit group.

"We're obviously very troubled by it," U.S. State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley said in Washington when asked about the boy's case. He told reporters the U.S. and Russia share a responsibility for the child's safety and Washington will work closely with Moscow to make sure adoptions are legal and appropriately monitored.

Asked if he thought a suspension by Russia was warranted, Crowley said, "If Russia does suspend cooperation on the adoption, that is its right. These are Russian citizens."

"Child abandonment of any kind is reprehensible," said Chuck Johnson, acting CEO of the National Council For Adoption. "The actions of this mother are especially troubling because an already vulnerable, innocent child has been further victimized."

The boy arrived unaccompanied in Moscow on a United Airlines flight on Thursday from Washington. Social workers sent him to a Moscow hospital for a health checkup and criticized his adoptive mother for abandoning him.

The Kremlin children's rights office said the boy was carrying a letter from his adoptive mother saying she was returning him due to severe psychological problems.

"This child is mentally unstable. He is violent and has severe psychopathic issues," the letter said. "I was lied to and misled by the Russian Orphanage workers and director regarding his mental stability and other issues. ...

"After giving my best to this child, I am sorry to say that for the safety of my family, friends, and myself, I no longer wish to parent this child."

The boy was adopted in September from the town of Partizansk in Russia's Far East.

Nancy Hansen, the grandmother, told The Associated Press that she and the boy flew to Washington and she put the child on the plane with the note from her daughter. She vehemently rejected assertions of child abandonment by Russian authorities, saying he was watched over by a United Airlines stewardess and the family paid a man $200 to pick the boy up at the Moscow airport and take him to the Russian Education and Science Ministry.

Nancy Hansen said a social worker checked on the boy in January and reported to Russian authorities that there were no problems. But after that, the grandmother said incidents of hitting, kicking, spitting began to escalate, along with threats.

She said she and her daughter went to Russia together to adopt the boy, and she believes information about his behavioral problems was withheld from her daughter.

"The Russian orphanage officials completely lied to her because they wanted to get rid of him," Nancy Hansen said.

She said the boy was very skinny when they picked him up, and he told them he had been beaten with a broom handle at the orphanage.

Joseph LaBarbera, a clinical psychologist at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, said adoptive parents are many times not aware of the psychological state of children put up for adoption.

"Parents enter into it (foreign adoption) with positive motivations but, in a sense, they are a little bit blindsided by their desire to adopt," said LaBarbera, who specializes in the psychological evaluation of children and has worked with a number of children adopted from Russia and other foreign countries. "They're not prepared to appreciate, psychologically, the kinds of conditions these kids have been exposed to and the effect it has had on them."

Russian state television showed the child in a yellow jacket holding the hands of two chaperones as he left a police precinct and entered a van bound for a Moscow medical clinic.

The U.S. ambassador to Russia, John Beyrle, said he was "deeply shocked by the news" and "very angry that any family would act so callously toward a child that they had legally adopted."

Anna Orlova, a spokeswoman for Kremlin's Children Rights Commissioner, told The Associated Press that she visited the boy and he told her that his mother was "bad," "did not love him," and used to pull his hair.

Russian officials said he turned up at the door of the Russian Education and Science Ministry on Thursday afternoon accompanied by a Russian man who handed over the boy and his documents, then left, officials said. The child holds a Russian passport.

Rob Johnson, a spokesman for the Tennessee Department of Children's Services, said the agency is looking into Friday's allegations, although it does not handle international adoptions.

Bedford County Sheriff Randall Boyce also said Torry Hansen was under investigation, but he hasn't interviewed the Hansens because their lawyer has advised them not to talk.

Lavrov said his ministry would recommend that the U.S. and Russia hammer out an agreement before any new adoptions are allowed.

"We have taken the decision ... to suggest a freeze on any adoptions to American families until Russia and the U.S.A. sign an international agreement" on the conditions for adoptions, Lavrov said.

He said the U.S. had refused to negotiate such an accord in the past but "the recent event was the last straw."

Pavel Astakhov, the children rights commissioner, said in a televised interview that a treaty is vital to protect Russian citizens in other countries.

"How can we prosecute a person who abused the rights of a Russian child abroad? If there was an adoption treaty in place, we would have legal means to protect Russian children abroad," he said.

Stephen Flanagan, senior vice president at the Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington, said the strong Russian reaction should not be a surprise.

"It's another sign of their incapacities at home, so when they see a former Russian citizen overseas mistreated or perceived to be mistreated it's something they try to use politically, but I can't see it leading to a rupture in U.S.-Russian relations," Flanagan said. "It's an unfortunate thing but it's in a different category."

Despite the uproar over adoptions, placing children inside Russia remains difficult. There are more than 740,000 children without parental custody in Russia, according to UNICEF, the United Nations Children's Fund.

Previous adoption failures have increased Russian officials' wariness of adoptions to the U.S.

In 2006, Peggy Sue Hilt of Manassas, Virginia, was sentenced to 25 years in prison after being convicted of fatally beating a 2-year-old girl adopted from Siberia months earlier.

In 2008, Kimberly Emelyantsev of Tooele, Utah, was sentenced to 15 years after pleading guilty to killing a Russian infant in her care.

And in March of this year, prosecutors in Pennsylvania met with a Russian diplomats to discuss how to handle the case of a couple accused of killing their 7-year-old adopted Russian son at their home near the town of Dillsburg.

___

Hall reported from Nashville, Tennessee. Associated Press writers Travis Loller in Nashville, Joshua Freed in Minneapolis, and Foster Klug and Robert Burns in Washington contributed to this report.

What A Week

2010-04-03T09:27:00.000-07:00

This past week was really enjoyable. We went on vacation yo visit Matt's mom in Missouri, so MJ got to ride on his 1st airplane. He did great, even though I was having issues... I strongly dislike flying, but what makes things worse is when the flight has lots of turbulence, medical emergencies or delays. Our 4 flights (two each way) had all 3 issues at one point or another. On the 1st leg of our trip (to Minneapolis) the flight was super bumpy. The kids all slept through it, though, so I didn't have to worry about them. Then, about 1/3rd of the way through the flight, one of the attendants got on the loud speaker and made this request: "We have a medical emergency. Do we have any doctors, nurses or EMTs on board?" Great!!! Just what I needed to worry about. I didn't know how bad the emergency was, so I prayed for the person's health and a swift landing if he needed additional monitoring. Someone stepped up to the plate and was rewarded for her effort by sitting in 1st Class with her patient (he was a 1st Class passenger, so I was grateful we didn't upgrade this time). When we landed, the entire aircraft sat patiently waiting for the EMT's to come on board and get the young man off before they even attempted to stand up. I was surprised at the patience of people... Our society seems to implement what I call "The ME Syndrome" more often than not, so this show of humanity was a relief and a joy to see. Thankfully, the young man was able to walk off the plane of his own accord. I'm hopeful that his recovery was swift and permanant. Anyway, the 2nd leg of our journey began with an hour long delay due to an engine malfuntion... Just the thing to make me relax!!! ;) I'm patient and don't mind delays too much, but the idea of flying on a plane that had a problem was quite scary. But we made it safely, so I was pleased. The trip home was just as awful: The leg to Minneapolis was turbulent, which had my hair on end. It was also delayed a bit, though we didn't mind since our connecting flight wasn't for nearly 3 hours. But that second leg was enough to nearly give me a heart attack... Seriously!!! It started out being delayed about an hour due to weather. Many of the planes taking off from Minneapolis were being rerouted and we all had to wait for the new information to be delivered. When we took off out of Minneapolis it felt like our plane was going to be torn out from under us... Literally!!! When the head flight attendant is giving her initial take off speach (in this case, it included warning about the severe turbulance that we would be enduring for the majority of the flight) and SHE starts gasping and saying "Oh god" on the intercom because of the severe drops we wwere enduring.... Then you know IT'S PRETTY BAD!!! The captain and the flight attendant both kept warning us that the decent into the Seattle airport would be even worse that the take off from Minneapolis, so I was terrified the entire trip. Thankfully, the captain did a fabulous job of keeping the plane in the air and helping to make the turbulence far more endurable than it might have been. In fact, he was even able to turn off the seat-belt sign for the middle part of the flight. But, the did inform us that they would be cleaning up and seating everyone (including the attendants) far sooner than they would normally do so due to the forseen turbulence. Thankfully, though it was bumpy, it was far better than the Minneapolis take off. We did do some drops, but I think dropping out of the sky during a landing is far easier and less noticeable than the drops when taking off and ascending.

Okay, so I know I bored you all to death with my lengthy novel about our flight, so I'll stop my ranting now and move on to how the kids did... MJ fussed for a good portion of the Minneapolis-Seattle flight. I think his ears were finally bothering him. The 1st flight he fussed because his ears were bothering him and he wouldn't take a bottle. But once he figured out that the bottle and pacifier would help in this area then he did really well. In fact, he slept for 3 out of the 4 legs of the trip. M also slept for the entire trip out to Missouri, as did C. The big kids are great travelers and they proved this on the 2 flights home... They were quiet and polite and both made sure they kept their legs and feet to themselves and didn't kick the back of the seats in front of them. MJ, though, fussed for a good portion of the final flight home. I think his tummy was gassy and his ears were bugging him and he was likely bored. Nothing would satisfy him. So when we landed I appologized for his fussiness to the passengers around us. I got the biggest compliment... Nearly everyone around us complimented all 3 of our kids on teh great job they did. M and C both got tons of praise for their good behavior. In fact, the couple who were sitting in front of them turned around and said that had they not seen them when they boarded they wouldn't have known kids were sitting behind them!!! They all said that even MJ, who was squealing and fussing, was a dream. Since we didn't have a connecting flight, we waited until most everyone was off the plane before we disembarked. As people passed us from the rear they also complimented us on our kids. Several people gave us a double take as they passed and said... "Wow! He was a great baby... I had no clue that there was an infant on board!" Since we were sitting smack dab in the middle of the plane I guess that was a good thing!!! I was nearly glowing by the time we finally got off the plane... I AM SO PROUD OF MY ANGELS!!!

As for our trip to visit Matt's family... Well, the only thing I can say about that is WOW!!! We were stunned at how well Matt's mom was doing. Yes, she is not doing so well that she will survive for much longer, but considering what we were expecting she looked great. She's still smoking like a freight train, but who cares... These are her last days and she deserves to enjoy them as she sees fit. She is eating well but her sleeping habits leave much to be desired, which puts a strain on the family who stays up all night with her. But, they all have a great technique worked out. We couldn't express how proud we are of the brother, sister and grandmother who are taking care of Mom. They all do a GREAT job and sacrifice so much. But I know they will get so much joy from being able to do this for Mom. It's been hard on them, but the memories they are getting will be something that they can cherish and is something their siblings will never have. I wish I could express myself better about how I feel, but I can't. All I can do is cherrish this feeling of love for them and all they are doing in my heart. I will carry that with me for life.

As we got ready to leave on Thursday afternoon, Mom said her good-byes. Those good-byes felt so final and were very difficult for Matt and me. Okay... They were more difficult for me than for Matt, I think. But I've never had to leave someone who is living out their last days. I've always either been around for their final days or I went home after they were already gone. I've never had to say good-bye like this. Matt hasn't either, but he did tell me that he had already said his good-byes to his mom a few months ago (just in case). He did have tears welling in his eyes as we talked on our way to the airport, though... But those were out of pure joy that he got to see his mom once more before she passes away. THAT was a blessing for us all, most especially for Matt and his family.

We also got to see Matt's brothers and one of his sisters along with his grandma and a very special aunt uncle and cousin!!! In addition, we got to see a niece and nephew and a very precious and rambunctious great-niece (holy cow am I feeling old)! Everyone looked very well and we totally LOVED seeing them all. The only thing I regret is not being able to stop in to say good-by to Aunt S and Uncle W... Sadly, Matt and I were both feeling a bit caught up in the good-byes we had with Mom. I know they'll understand, but I'm feeling lots of regrets now.

Since we couldn't go to Mom's house too early (since she stayed awake so late, everyone else slept in or went to sleep early in the morning, so we arrived around 11:00 every morning) we took the kids swimming before we got there. M loves to swim but is semi-afraid of the water. But, at least he is trying and enthusiastic about swimming. C, on the other hand, is finally starting to enjoy swimming and actually relaxes her body enough to be able to start some natural movements in the water. M is still working on relaxing and making natural swimming movements. He struggles, though he loves it. C is better at it, but doesn't normally enjoy swimming. MJ, on the other hand, just about swam out of my arms!!! He is a natural and seems like he'll actually be a good swimmer... Well, that's one thing I got to pass along!!!

It was fun to hear how much MJ looked like Matt and his brothers. In fact, we got to hear some stories about how Matt was when he was a baby... He, too, was loving and active. Matt and his 2 brothers actually told us a story about how they played bottle rocket tag, which is bad ebough... But, Matt actually used a 500 gallon propane tank as his hiding spot. Mom said she ran out screaming at the boys. They had, apparently, nearly given her a heart attack over that stunt. I'm learning more and more from everyone one on each of our trips home. It's funny to hear these stories because Matt's dad and step mom never had any stories that they wanted to share about Matt. What was truly amazing was to hear and see Matt's mom, grandma and aunt and uncle's reactions to how alike MJ and Matt are!!! My family all calls MJ "Mini Me" because he looks so much like his daddy... According to the stories from Matt's family that's an accurate description!!!! ;)

Needless to say, we all had loads of fun and were thrilled with the visit!!! We hope you enjoy the photographic journey as much as the lengthy story...

Oh Glorious Days

2010-03-15T16:22:00.000-07:00

It is Mother's Day, again... That's right, my oldest two are both finally back in school.

M has been attending school since Tuesday, a great thing since that means he only missed 1 day of school in the transition. He just moved right on into that classroom and is, I am proud to say, doing well. His behavior has yet to get in the way. I think it really helped that his previous teacher (a miraculous soul who enterred his life at a critical time and who, by virtue of sure determination, found ways to help M be a better learner and peer) was able to send along a written explanation of tricks that she found that worked well with M and also included explanations of M's little quirks. So far it seems to be working. I am hopeful that this transition will continue to be a smooth one for M.

C is finally, and gratefully, at the precise school I had hoped she would be enrolled in. I forwarded all the information I had for her, including her most recent IEP and several evaluation reports, the week before we moved to help move the process along faster. These were enough to persuade the local school district that they couldn't, in fact, meet C's needs. I kept trying to tell them that when they so abruptly removed her from this school at the beginning of kindergarten in the summer of 2008. I was really angry about this sudden change and was frustrated at the sense of loss that both C and I felt because the opportunity that was so brisky wisked out from under her was so perfect and met her needs to ideally. Needless to say, the child who came home today from her 1st day of school was GLOWING... Almost literally. She was ecstatic that there were so many signers there. It's the first thing she said to me when she got off the bus... "SO MUCH signing!" I couldn't be more thrilled. Needless to say, all the hard work that C's IEP team put into her latest IEP and all the goals that they listed REALLY made the difference in C's current educational status. I am now confident that C will be able to gain enough language skills upon our departure in a couple of years that I have had a great burden lifted from my shoulders.

Except for the lack of Speech Therapy that M received at our previous location (which was so miniscule as to be practically non-existant... In fact, it was so horrendous that M's speech/language skills deteriorated tremendously during our stay there AND I actually had to threaten legal action... But that's a whole other story. Anyway...) The education and support that M and C received while in California was so tremendous as to, literally, be life altering!!! I cannot thank M's Teacher and C's entire team for everything that they have helped my two amazing children achieve... THANK YOU, ALL!!!

Welcome Home

2010-03-04T08:10:00.000-08:00

WELCOME HOME, MY LOVE!!!

Matt arrived safely back in the US yesterday afternoon (1:00pm Pacific). He phoned just as I was walking out the door to let me know they had just landed in Bangor, Maine. He said that was the loudest landing he had ever heard. When I asked him to clarify (since I'm afraid of flying, I had all these concerns running instantly through my head), he said that the cheers that were emmitting from the returning soldiers was both deafening and inspiring. Just hearing the description of their joy at arriving home safely was enough to give me goose bumps as tears welled up in my eyes. I was so happy for them. He called again at nearly 8:00pm last night to tell me that they had landed safely at McCord AFB in Washington and would be getting on a bus for the short drive to Ft. Lewis and his bed as soon as they got their bags off the plane. He said he would call me again as soon as they got back to Post. At 10:00 he called to tell me that it would be a little while longer (they still hadn't unloaded the luggage) and by 10:30 I was wiped out from pure excitement of the day. So, when I still didn't have a phone call I just went to bed. I was smart, though... I took the phone. And at 10:40pm he finally called. Since I had important information about our housing, which he will get today, to impart, I had to get back up. We didn't chat for long. He said he'll call again today to chat with me some more.

But, the important part is...

MATT IS HOME, SAFE AND SOUND!!!

Our next struggle? We're just hoping to make it out to see Matt's mom before she passes away... Which may not be too much longer. She's been bravely hanging on to every last breath, so we're hoping and praying that she can hang on just a little longer... Long enough, at least, for Matt to complete the reintegration training, which is the soonest he is allowed to take leave (unless she passes away, then he can take leave to go to her funeral).

12 Of Us In A Room Together

2010-02-28T08:05:00.000-08:00

My aunt sent me this forwarded message. I generally think forwards are a silly superstition, but I also know that sometimes odd things happen with these things. Having said that, though, I dearly wanted to share the quote. It's a beautiful quote that I wish for everyone. Besides, there are so many women who have touched my life and played an important role, that it would be difficult to pick just 12. So, for all you have given me, I thank you.
Wishing you all much love and peace...

Subject: 12 of us in a room together

I am supposed to pick 12 women (who have touched my life) and who I think might participate. I think that if this group of women were ever to be in a room together, there is nothing that would be impossible. I hope I chose the right twelve. May this remind you how special you are. Please send this back to me.

First, make a wish before you read the quotation. That's all you have to do. There is nothing attached. Just send this to twelve women and let me know what happens on the fourth day. Sorry you have to forward the message, but try not to break this, please. Did you make a wish yet? If you don't make a wish, it won't come true... This is your last chance to make a wish!

Quotation:

'May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.'

Now, send this to 12 women (or more) within the next 5 minutes. And remember to send this back. I count as 1... you'll see why ~

I Hear Ya, Baby!!!

2010-02-20T07:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had to pull M and C out of school around 11:30 so we could race down to Sacramento for C's audiology appointment. She had to get her implants "mapped" (this is where, using a computer, the Audiologist configures the interior implant and the exterior processor to work together in such a way as to allow C to hear best, which varies for each individual person, though it is generally similar).

MJ was a bit fussy on the drive down because he didn't have a decent nap that morning. This would have been annoying except that he suddenly stopped after just a few minutes of crying. I looked into my child review mirror, which hangs just below the van's rearview mirror, to see C signing to me... She had heard MJ's cries and gave him his pacifier. This was the first time she acknowledged hearing MJ crying and actually recognized that it was a particular sound.

C has been hearing sounds since the 29th of January, when her implants were initially activated. She has asked what she is hearing every day. It's been quite interesting to see this change come about. But, she is still in the learning stage where she is trying to figure out what each sound she hears actually means. So, this is huge progress to have her recognize MJ's cries. The only other thing she recognizes is the sound of the Microwave beeping as it stops, but that's only if she knows something was cooking. So, officially, this was the first unassisted recognition of a specific sound... And it was amazing!

Introduction to Sign Language

2010-02-15T09:30:00.000-08:00

One of my cousins asked me a question today that I thought was interesting. It dawned on me that many people might have the same question, so I though I would address it here...

Cousin A wanted to know when we would be introducing sign language to MJ. He's only 5 months old, but it's never too early to learn language. Language is taught to a infant starting while they are in the womb. A fetus can hear it's mother speaking and learns the sound of her voice. After the baby is born, he/she begins learning language almost instantly... They learn their name. They learn to respond when they hear Mom or Dad. So consequently, it is ver feasable to teach your child a second language immediately. In fact, children in households with parents who speak two different languages learn both langauges quite readily.

Needless to say, we are attempting to sign to MJ as we speak and we are hopeful that he will be one of our more fluent family members. He should be since sign langauge is the only form of communication that C is able to use. It's been great because I ask her to babysit (while I'm doing the dishes or taking a shower) and when I peak in on them I find her, more often than not, signing to MJ.

I think that teaching MJ to sign from the get go will accomplish more than just giving him 2 languages to be fluent in... It will also allow him to communicate earlier and, hopefully, will help elleviate some of the "Terrible Twos"!

GREAT question Cousin A!!! Thanks for asking that. I would not have thought about explaining this concept to others if you hadn't brought it up because it's simply an every day part of our world. ;)

Happy New Year, Tiger!!!!

2010-02-14T19:37:00.000-08:00

Happy Lunar New Year (Year of the Tiger) and Happy Valentine's Day!!!

I am sorry to report that we did not celebrate the New Year. I had hoped to take M, C and MJ to a celebration, but C ended up having a guest stay the weekend and I was unable to accomplish that plan.

We did attend our church today. I took my 3 kiddos and C's guest. C and her friend (who I'll call Miss A) are both deaf. Miss A's parents are also deaf, so Miss A was raised with ASL being her natural language. She is the same age as M and C (they're all 7 years old) but she can spell almost anything. In fact (and I'm sorry for making this comparisson), she can spell better than my sister! For example, she spelled enthusiastic and then proceeded to show me the sign!!! I was stunned, to say the least. Anyway, as I was saying... the 5 of us attended Mass and I ended up having to interpret 2/3rds of the Mass because Miss A preferred to do that than read the book. I was unsure I would be able to do it because I thought my ability was cruddy. Come to find out, my ability to sign is good... It's my ability to read what others are signing to me where my troubles lay. In addition, the other problem is that C is still at the beginning of her signing abilities. She signs super fast, and she is using real words, but she is putting things together that make no sense. It's as if she's talking like a baby who is learning how to talk. She's learning the words but needs to learn how to use the language correctly in order to communicate. So, it has been a big relief learning that she isn't surpassing me!!! Whew!!! ;)

In addition to all that has happened in the past weeks, we're adding packing and cleaning to our list of chores because we're preparing to move back with Matt. He's due home from Iraq in a few weeks, though we won't know exactly when he'll be back in the states until he calls us and says, "I'm back!" That's okay, though... As long as he comes home safely.

In the mean time, we're having to deal with a few fallouts from M and C due to the move. M has been fighting with a fellow school mate. I actually had an opportunity to chat with the other boy's mom on Thursday. She surprised me by saying that she doesn't care and that she's not correcting her child at home. So, ultimately, she is condoning and encouraging the boy's behavior. Well, I can't continue to punish M if he isn't going to have a way out. Needless to say, I told M to kick the boy's rear end if he won't be allowed to walk away. I also broached the subject with M's teacher so taht she would be aware that though M would understandably get into trouble at school and he knows that I will support this action but at home he will no longer get into trouble if he is fighting with this particular little dude and paraphrased the previous conversation. She was surprised and totally understood where I was coming from in my stance. She appreciated my honesty and the support I would give regarding the school's need to punish the participants of a fight but was supportive about my need to encourage M to defend himself.

As for C... She's been interesting, to say the least. She actually started crying on Thursday morning jsut as we were heading out the dorr to go to school. When I asked her what was wrong, now (because she is truly my daughter... She is super dramatic), she glared at me and M and said, "I'm so mad at you two!" Wow, wonder what we did wrong? So, when I asked her, she explained that she was severely angry at him and me because we were making her move to a new home and a new school and she couldn't take Miss A. She didn't want to go! Well, I was stunned that she would actually explain this to me and I didn't know whether to be irritated that she, as usual, was blaming M for yet something else or to be thrilled and proud that she would actually express herself! So, I chose a middle ground and told her that I was super proud of her telling me these things but that she didn't have a right to be angry at M since he had nothing to do with the move. If she wants to be angry at someone she needed to be angry at Mommy and Daddy. Well, that immediately cleared up her tears because there was no way she was going to be mad at Daddy. Mommy? Sure. M? Definitely. But Daddy? No Way!!! She's also been having some issues at school, too.

So, both kids are having some bahavior problems associated with the move. But they are really doing far better than I had anticipated. Even MJ is showing some signs of nerves, though he has no clue what is going on. I think his problem is more due to the fact that he doesn't have my parents around every day (that or he is responding to my stress level, in which case I'm in trouble because that would be two kids who feed off my energy).

On the positive side, M and C are both asking when Daddy will be home. The only problem with that is that they are asking me every few hours. I finally pulled out my calendar and marked the date that we are moving (as Matt should be home by that date). They have been crossing off the days since the 1st of February. We're all definitely ready!!!

January Update

2010-01-22T15:45:00.000-08:00

I know it has been an extremely long time since I updated this blog and my readers, so my sincerest appologies. A lot has happened lately, some of which I can't share. Here is what I can share...

Earlier this month my parents took M, C, MJ and I to the USS Hornet. Dad had served on the Hornet during the Appollo Missions and was able to share some of his experiences. It was quite fun to hear his stories. Just Thursday M received an award called "Every Child Succeeding Award". He was one of only sixteen kids who were honored with this award this year out of the entire county. What an honor! Mom and I were able to attend the award's breakfast banquet along with M and his teacher. It was a very humbling and enlightening experience and I couldn't have been more proud of M. In addition to this great honor, M also took an Advanced Reader's test on Thursday (yesterday) after arriving back at school. He passed with 100% accuracy. What is so special? Well, he passed reading at a 2.1 grade level. He's in 1st grade and was struggling to read at a late-kinder/early-1st grader level... That's how much he has improved all around!!! What a trooper!!! C is doing great, too, although he bus driver forgot to pick her up yesterday... Yes, her bus driver forgot her (and she's this person's only student, so it makes me a little concerned). I had to pick her up, but she handled the extra hour at school like a trooper, too! She's improved drastically in math. I think my concern that I expressed last month sank in because her interpreters are giving her extra help (they're actually giving her the answers rather than allowing her to raise her hand and ask for the teacher's help). But now, she seems to be getting it. Now if we could only get her reading up to par... But what do you expect from a child who has to memorize every single word they see?!? She can do it, though... She's so smart!!! MJ is doing great, too... He's growing like a weed and is doing all the things babies should do! I'm so proud of all my kids. Hope you enjoyed the photos!!!

Celebrating The Holidays

2009-12-20T22:34:00.000-08:00

This last week or so has been fun/interesting.

First, C ended up with a Urinary Track Infection or a Bladder Infection. Her pediatrician never did let me know which one it was. Hopefully he'll give us an update when we go see him tomorrow afternoon. In the mean time, she's been on medicine, which has helped tremendously.

Then, C missed her school play. It wasn't such a bad thing because C had just had her Cochlear Implant Surgery the week before and had just gone back to school. She completely missed each and every practice, so she had no cllue that she missed it, anyway.

Just a couple of days later M had his performance. He's usually terrified of performing in front of people, but I promised him Baskin Robin's Ice Cream if he sang every song and sang it loud enough for me to hear. Well, as we all know, with a croud of kiddos singing in an auditorium it's nearly impossible to pick out an individual voice, and M made sure I was aware of this fact. But I told him that a mother is always able to "hear" her own child. That appeased him. But, he still negotiated what he got. His preference? Jamba Juice instead of Baskin Robins... And who am I to complain about that choice?!? ;)

The same day of M's performance, which turned out beautifully, my grandfather invited the entire family from our area to his house for a Christmas gathering. He proceeded to make an announcement... We thought the announcement was going to include his proposal to his current "companion" (his title for her not ours), but it was only to wish us all a Merry Christmas.

Today we topped off the Christmas celebrations with a trip into our little town. Santa Clause came for a visit, so we got our picture taken with him. After that, the big kids were able to help decorate a Gingerbread House and a Christmas Tree before heading off to make a gingerbread cookie (homemade by one of our town's long time residents). We spent about 45 minutes in town (including drive time, but we only live about 5 minutes away). It was a fun little trip.

The following pictures are from our wonderful and spirited week. Enjoy:

What Makes A Woman Love Her Man....

2009-12-19T15:46:00.000-08:00

Manette -

Well, the year is coming to a close. It has been extremely eventful to say the least. Lets see, you and the kids moved down to California, I deployed to Iraq, you gave birth to MJ, C had surgury, and M completely blossemed with Mrs. J and his 1st grade class. Definitely a great year. Even though we have been apart, the time we were together was wonderful. Hopefully next year you won't be completely tired of me being around all the time. You are a fabulous mother and a fantastic wife. You are beautiful, smart, funny, and I could not have dreamed of a better partner in life. I love and miss you. I think of you all the time and know that you are raising our children with just the right combination of love and discipline. You are an excellent role model! I hope you have a very Merry Christmas sweetheart. See you in my dreams! Love always, Matthew J

I wanted to share what a wonderful husband I have. I think I was lucky and got the last true gentleman that God ever made. He is true, honest and a superb protector. He cherishes me and shows me just how much he loves me nearly every day. He loves our kids more than life itself and I couldn't have asked for a more loving father and husband. Just read what he sent to me today and you'll get a sliver of an idea of what my wonderful life with Matt is like! I hope that every other woman out there is as blessed as I am in her chosen mate.

Christmas Tree Decorating

2009-12-06T17:04:00.001-08:00

Today we went to Nana and Papa's house to decorate Nana's Christmas Tree. This is MJ's 1st Christmas, and though Daddy is missing it, we will certainly share our special days as much as possible. So, here is our first Christmas post.

Enjoy the visual post...

C Had Surgery

2009-12-06T15:37:00.000-08:00

Sorry about the delay in posting our recent activities, but (as you will see) it's been a bit hectic lately.

On December 3rd C was scheduled for surgery. Her ENT wanted to repair the Cochlear Implant that had slipped out of her right Cochlea and add a new device in her left ear. We chose this drastic route since C was diagnosed with Usher Syndrome Type I (which means that she will go blind. It's a progressive disease and her eyes are, at age 6, already functioning like a 40 year old's. She has limited periphreal vision and is most noticeable when she walks, especially at night, because she trips over everything, even the slight rise that is between the sidewalk and grass).

My day started out very early on Thursday. I was up at 5:00am. Knowing I would be getting up early that morning I went to bed at a decent hour. But, I was wired and had a hard time sleeping. Plus, C didn't want to sleep that night, either, making my night more miserable. MJ didn't help, either, because he tossed and turned quite a bit. But, I got up and ate breakfast since I knew I wasn't going to get to eat until C went into surgery... What parent would eat in front of their child when that poor little thing couldn't eat. I showered, too, of course. I had packed a couple of bags the previous day. I remembered well what happened a couple of months ago when MJ went to the ER and we ended up being transported to a larger hospital where we stayed for 5 days with nothing to do and no clean clothes (disgusting). I wasn't about to get caught in that same position this time!

C got up around 5:30 and swiftly got herslef taken care of. She had had her shower the previous night and so only really needed to get dressed and have a touch of water. She was so hungry, though, since she had not had anything to eat for nearly 12 hours. Once she was done we were off!

It was excessively foggy that morning, so our drive time was extended to nearly 2 hours. Plus I had forgotten to get money and gas, so I needed to stop and do that before we really got on the road. Thankfully, I was following several other cars into the area, so it cut down on the fog issues.

We arrived at UC Davis at 7:45 that morning and were shown into the pre-surgery room by 8:30, where we waited and waited and waited some more. C's surgery was originally due to begin between 9:45 and 10:00am. At 10:30 the staff came in to tell us that it would be maybe another 30 minutes to an hour before they would begin as they were running late.

At 11:30 C was finally wheeled into the OR where they began the scheduled 4-1/2 hour surgery to repair the right implant and insert a new implant on her left side.

When C was wheeled into the OR I took the time to run to the caffeteria. I made a quick stop at the little coffee shop, first, where I ordered myself a super large regular coffee (which tasted as if someone had burned the beans before filtering it into the coffe pot and burning it again). With my caffiene jolt safely in my hands I drug all my and C belongings into the lobby waiting area and made a few phone calls and sent a few texts.

My stomach was doing summer saults by this time, so I nixed the idea of eating lunch and instead ate a Nutrigrain Bar before meandering back to the Children's Surgery Center waiting area where I enjoyed an hour of gossip with one of the nurses on reception desk duty.

At 3:30pm a nurse dressed in typical operating room attire sat next to me and delivered some interesting news. The first thing out of her mouth was, "Your daughter is fine and doing well." But, she followed that with, "It's taking longer than we had anticipated. It will be at least another hour to an hour and a half." Two and a half hours later, C was finally wheeled out of surgery and into the recovery room!!! Yes, the surgery took nearly 7 hours!

Because the Children's Surgery Center closes at 6:00pm C was wheeled into the main recovery area on the second floor. Usually family is not allowed into that area at until the patient is stable and awake. I was allowed to go into the recovery area and sit with C the entire time. The nurses used the excuse that I was her interpreter, which I was. I was the only one who could communicate with her. Plus, because they couldn't communicate with her they didn't want her too frightened.

When C woke up enough for the first time to communicate, the first thing she said was that she was hungry and thirsty. So, her nurse gave her some apple juice. She downed that like it was a sacred currative. She followed that with a scoop of Strawberry Ice Cream. Scooping the ice cream out with the plastic spoon was like trying to carve a pumpkin with a plastic knife. But, once C had the first bite she yanked the small bowl of ice cream out of the nurse's hand with such fervour that we (literally) did not see her reacting until she had already had the bowl in her hand and the spoon into her mouth (that's how hungry she was). We both lunged for the ice cream to keep C from eating too fast and making herself sick. I was able to get it away from her, but couldn't feed her fast enough. C was deserate for any type of nourishment. She finally slowed down enough about half way through the ice cream to be able to allow it to settle into her tummy before reaching for more. Once the ice cream was about 2/3rds empty C finally relented to the drowsiness and drifted back to sleep.

C slept for another hour and then woke up again. This time she was more awake and I was able to ask her important questions about how she was feeling. Shortly thereafter they decided to release C. So, she sat up and began getting dressed. The next thing we know is she's vomitting. It wasn't much, but it was enough to spew out the Tylenol with Codiene that they had just given her. Suddenly, not 5 minutes later, C spewed out a large quantity of the fluids she had taken in during her recovery. But, she had to go potty, which was great since she hadn't urinated since 11:00 that morning and her pull-up was still dry. The staff still felt she could be released to go home for the remainder of her recovery, so they wheeled C out to the parking garage where they let her go. She and I took the elevator to the second floor and proceeded to get into the car. The moment I turned the van on C vomitted again! Thank goodness for the puke bucket they gave us because it would have been really nasty (and Mom would have had so much to clean up between me and C... Because I certainly would have puked right along side her if I had had to clean it up).

While we were waiting for C's Tylenol with codiene to arrive, I had searched for my validated parking ticket. It was GONE!!! I couldn't find it anywhere. I had to claim a "lost tickes" and ended up haivng to pay the full day's price, which considering where we were wasn't bad at all... It cost me $12 to leave the parking garage and, since they only take cash, I was glad I had stopped at the ATM that morning.

The rest of the journey home was a breaze. C fell asleep before we even hit the freeway and the night was clear. Matt kept texting me, and because California has a law against being on the phone and driving (which I totally agree with) I kept having to pull over. He finally called me to see how C was doing as I pulled into the driveway. Go figure!

We slept at my parents' house just to be on the safe side and woke up feeling pretty good. C had woken up several times from the pain, but was otherwise fine. No more vomitting! And I slept with MJ, as usual, but it was a smaller bed and he kept rolling inot me, so I didn't sleep very soundly. I talked to Matt more thoroughly that morning before heading off to breakfast at the local diner followed by a jaunt into town for pain medication for C. We arrived home in plenty of time to pick M up from school. Afterwards, C, MJ and C's new doll (from Aunt K-B) all took a much needed nap.

The next morning, C was up and moving as if nothing had happened to her. I've had to fight to keep her from wrestling with Papa and dancing in the kitchen. She has had only Tylenol (without codiene) for pain medication and has done a wonderful job in keeping her hands off her ears!!!

Enjoy the progressive pictures of the past few days!

Belated Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-29T16:08:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is about holidays and M, but every single year he has to be seriously sick on/around at least ONE holiday.... This year he was seriously sick the day after Thanksgiving, thank goodness. Hopefully he won't be sick on Christmas (like he was the year before last and then again two years before that). I ended up taking him to the emergency room on Friday night because he was running a 104 degree fever. That, accomanied with a cough and vomitting, for me a touch concerned that it might be the Swine Flu (the H1N1 virus). Turns out the poor kid had caught Broncchitis. Turns out that Broncchitis is highly contagious in the first 24 to 48 hours! DAMN!!! Because MJ isn't yet 3 months old and C is getting ready for surgery on Thursday!!! Just what we need... A house full of sick people!!! Ugh!!!

Anyway, yes, you read that right... C is getting ready for yet another surgery. She had an appointment with the head of the ENT department at UC Davis Children's Medical Center and we discussed the idea of giving her an additional implant and fixing the right side (it has slipped out of place so much that only 8 out of 16 electrodes are functioning). Unfortunately, on Friday I received a letter from Tricare stating that they did not receive enough information from the physician to actually approve the request. So, it will take up to 10 working days to get the information. Needless to say, I don't have to money to be able to pay for her to have the surgery on my own, so we might have to reschedule the surgery for a later date; this is especially true if she catches what M has!

As a further update, I just wanted to BRAG about my two big kids!!! M and C were both given two awards on Friday, November 20th (M's award assembly was at 8:00am and C's was at 9:00am... Yes, Mom and I rushed like mad-women to make it to both assemblies... And, as mothers around teh world do, we were able to manage them both).

M was awarded student of the month for 1st grade. He was selected as the most improved student for his improvement in his handwriting! Plus, he was given a medal for the Alpha Society!!! This is given for getting good grades. It's tantamount to getting on the Principal's List!!! They do this because they don't have Honor Roll for kids under 5th grade... What a little genious!!! We're all so very proud of M!!! Plus... To make things even more amazing about M, I was told during his Parent/Teacher conference (on Tuesday, Novemmer 10th at 12:30) that M was doing great in his math. In fact, Mrs. J said that had M slowed down on his work and actually followed directions he would have scored even higher. Generally, he's bored with his math work and is just speeding along in it and not paying attention to the particulars. She wants him to show his work and he's able to do it in his head, so he's not showing his work. And, even more impressive is the fact that he's doing so outstandingly in his reading that she said he'll soon be reading at a 2nd grade level!!! OH MY GOSH!!! Can you say... IMPRESSED?!?

C was also given an award for student of the month. She was elected most courteous in her class. She received a similar award last year... She's so kind to others and it consistently shows. We're so pleased that she's got such a marvelous personality... And it shows in her fellow classmates and teachers. C was also given an award (though they have to hand out the documents in December because they didn't arrive in time) for 100% homework completion!!! YEAH!!! Now that's worth recognizing... She works hard to complete her homework.

Needless to say, I'm super thrilled with both of our big kids!!! It's Fantastic!!!

What Love means to a 4-8 year old.....

2009-11-12T17:23:00.000-08:00

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it.. Touching words from the mouth of babes. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined See what you think:

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'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love...'

Rebecca- age 8

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'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'

Billy - age 4

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'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'

Karl - age 5

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'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'

Chrissy - age 6

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'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired..'

Terri - age 4

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'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'

Danny - age 7

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'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that.. They look gross when they kiss'

Emily - age 8

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'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

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'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'

Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

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'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'

Noelle - age 7

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'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'

Tommy - age 6

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'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'

Cindy - age 8

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'My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night..'

Clare - age 6

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'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'

Elaine-age 5

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'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'

Chris - age 7

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'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'

Mary Ann - age 4

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'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'

Lauren - age 4

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'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)

Karen - age 7

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'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'

Mark - age 6

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'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'

Jessica - age 8

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And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

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When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this.

Heavenly Father, please bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day! And may their life be full of Your peace, prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with You. Amen.

Then send it on to five other people. Within hours you caused a multitude of people to pray for other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life.

(Upon reading this, I asked my son what he thought love means and this was his answer: "Love is kissing and hugging. Love is my family")

The Old Man

2009-11-12T17:15:00.000-08:00

The Old Man...

As I came out of the supermarket that sunny day, pushing my cart of groceries towards my car, I saw an old man with the hood of his car up and a lady sitting inside the car, with the door open.

The old man was looking at the engine. I put my groceries away in my car and continued to watch the old gentleman from about 25 feet away.

I saw a young man in his early twenties with a grocery bag in his arm, walking towards the old man. The old gentleman saw him coming too, and took a few steps towards him. I saw the old gentleman point to his open hood and say something.

The young man put his grocery bag into what looked like a brand new Cadillac Escalade and then turn back to the old man and I heard him yell at the old gentleman saying, 'You shouldn't even be allowed to drive a car at your age.' And then with a wave of his hand, he got in his car and peeled rubber out of the parking lot.

I saw the old gentleman pull out his handkerchief and mop his brow as he went back to his car and again looked at the engine. He then went to his wife and spoke with her and appeared to tell her it would be okay. I had seen enough and I approached the old man. He saw me coming and stood straight and as I got near him I said, 'Looks like you're having a problem.'

He smiled sheepishly and quietly nodded his head. I looked under the hood myself and knew that whatever the problem was, it was beyond me. Looking around I saw a gas station up the road and told the old man that I would be right back. I drove to the station and went inside and saw three attendants working on cars. I approached one of them and related the problem the old man had with his car and offered to pay them if they could follow me back down and help him.

The old man had pushed the heavy car under the shade of a tree and appeared to be comforting his wife. When he saw us, he straightened up and thanked me for my help. As the mechanics diagnosed the problem (overheated engine) I spoke with the old gentleman.

When I shook hands with him earlier, he had noticed my Marine Corps ring and had commented about it, telling me that he had been a Marine too. I nodded and asked the usual question, 'What outfit did you serve with?'

He had mentioned that he served with the first Marine Division at Tarawa, Saipan, Iwo Jima and Guadalcanal. He had hit all the big ones and retired from the Corps after the war was over. As we talked we heard the car engine come on and saw the mechanics lower the hood. They came over to us as the old man reached for his wallet, but was stopped by me and I told him I would just put the bill on my AAA card.

He still reached for the wallet and handed me a card that I assumed had his name and address on it and I stuck it in my pocket. We all shook hands all around again and I said my goodbye's to his wife... I then told the two mechanics that I would follow them back up to the station. Once at the station I told them that they had interrupted their own jobs to come along with me and help the old man. I said I wanted to pay for the help, but they refused to charge me.

One of them pulled out a card from his pocket looking exactly like the card the old man had given to me. Both of the men told me then, that they were Marine Corps Reserves. Once again we shook hands all around and as I was leaving, one of them told me I should look at the card the old man had given to me. I said I would and drove off.

For some reason I had gone about two blocks when I pulled over and took the card out of my pocket and looked at it for a long, long time. The name of the old gentleman was on the card in golden leaf and under his name 'Congressional Medal of Honor Society.'

I sat there motionless looking at the card and reading it over and over.

I looked up from the card and smiled to no one but myself and marveled that on this day, four Marines had all come together, because one of us needed help. He was an old man all right, but it felt good to have stood next to greatness and courage and an honor to have been in his presence.

Remember, OLD men like him gave you FREEDOM for America. Thanks to those who served and those who supported them.

America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the Mall. If you don't stand behind our troops, PLEASE feel free to stand in front of them! Remember, Freedom isn't "Free" -- thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today!

LET'S DO THIS -- JUST 19 WORDS

GOD OUR FATHER,

WALK THROUGH MY HOUSE AND TAKE AWAY ALL MY WORRIES AND ILLNESSES; AND PLEASE WATCH OVER AND HEAL MY FAMILY AND OUR FRIENDS AND THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO HAVE FOUGHT AND ARE FIGHTING FOR OUR FREEDOM IN JESUS ' NAME. AMEN

This prayer is so powerful. Pass this prayer to 12 people including me.

Prayer Wheel For Our Military Men and Women

2009-11-09T15:51:00.000-08:00

Yet another precious storyline about our troops. They are loved and appreciated by me and my family so very much. This is one way to express my sincerest gratitude for their service.

And, to bring home how accurate this is, let me tell you what happened while we were at the PX (Post Exchange) at Fort Lewis last year: We were out shopping one afternoon at our PX. As we were walking into the store we passed a young man who had lost the lower half of his left leg. I can still see how young this soldier was. The cost of war hit me like a ton of bricks at that moment. We often see on the news the price our men and women pay, but rarely do we see it in person and on someone so young. But what made things even more horrendous was the fact that my usually loving son, M, pointed at him and laughed. Tears instantly streamed down my cheeks as I angrily turned M towards me as I hissed with pure fury, "That man is a soldier and he lost his leg protecting us! DON'T YOU EVER LAUGH AT A SOLDIER AGAIN!" I attempted to calm down, though anger still seethed from my poors, as I explained that Daddy would be going to war soon and that he could come home missing an arm or a leg just like that soldier did and that we need to respect and thank those very special soldiers who have literally sacrificed so much of themselves. M was instantly contrite and immediately began crying as he looked with sympathy over his shoulder whispering a simple, but precious, apology. M nor I will ever forget that moment. In fact, any time he sees a young man with an injury he asks if he, too, got hurt in war. I'm glad he remembers how much these precious men and women mean to our family, though I can't help but cry at the loss of so many young men and women... They gave their lives willingly for mine and I will never forget them!

1/2 boy 1/2 man

If you read this, you WILL forward it on. You just won't be able to stop yourself.

The average age of the military man is 19 years. He is a short haired, tight-muscled kid who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not yet dry behind the ears, not old enough to buy a beer, but old enough to die for his country. He never really cared much for work and he would rather wax his own car than wash his father's, but he has never collected unemployment either.

He's a recent High School graduate; he was probably an average student, pursued some form of sport activities, drives a ten year old jalopy, and has a steady girlfriend that either broke up with him when he left, or swears to be waiting when he returns from half a world away. He listens to rock and roll or hip-hop or rap or jazz or swing and a 155mm howitzer.

He is 10 or 15 pounds lighter now than when he was at home because he is working or fighting from before dawn to well after dusk. He has trouble spelling, thus letter writing is a pain for him, but he can field strip a rifle in 30 seconds and reassemble it in less time in the dark. He can recite to you the nomenclature of a machine gun or grenade launcher and use either one effectively if he must. He digs foxholes and latrines and can apply first aid like a professional.

He can march until he is told to stop, or stop until he is told to march. He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation, but he is not without spirit or individual dignity. He is self-sufficient.

He has two sets of fatigues: he washes one and wears the other. He keeps his canteens full and his feet dry. He sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, but never
to clean his rifle. He can cook his own meals,mend his own clothes, and fix his own hurts.

If you're thirsty, he'll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food. He'll even split his ammunition with you in the midst of battle when you run low.

He has learned to use his hands like weapons and weapons like they were his hands. He can save your life - or take it, because that is his job.
He will often do twice the work of a civilian, draw half the pay, and still find ironic humor in it all.

He has seen more suffering and death than he should have in his short lifetime. He has wept in public and in private, for friends who have fallen in combat and is unashamed.

He feels every note of the National Anthem vibrate through his body while at rigid attention, while tempering the burning desire to 'square-away ' those around him who haven't bothered to stand, remove their hat, or even stop talking. In an odd twist, day in and day out, far from home, he defends their right to be disrespectful.

Just as did his Father, Grandfather, and Great-grandfather, he is paying the price for our freedom. Beardless or not, he is not a boy. He is the American Fighting Man that has kept this country free for over 200 years.

He has asked nothing in return, except our friendship and understanding. Remember him, always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood.

And now we even have women over there in danger, doing their part in this tradition of going to War when our nation calls us to do so.

As you go to bed tonight, remember this shot... A short lull, a little shade and a picture of loved ones in their helmets.

Prayer wheel for our military... please don't break it Please send this on after a short prayer.

Prayer Wheel

'Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen.'

When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our ground troops in Afghanistan , sailors on ships, and airmen in the air, and for those in Iraq, Afghanistan and all foreign countries.

Of all the gifts you could give a US Soldier, Sailor, Coastguardsman, Marine, or Airman, prayer is the very best one. I can't break this one, sorry. Pass it on to everyone and pray.

Daddy's Poem

2009-11-09T08:58:00.000-08:00

My father-in-law sent this to me, which really means a lot since we really haven't spoken (except for a few emails here and there) in the last 3 years. I cried through much of it and desperately wanted to share this with the world... What better way to do it than through my blog for all to see!?! And could there be a better time than the week of Memorial Day when Americans honor and remember those who served our country and helped to defend all the freedoms we cherrish!?!

My love and respect goes out to each and every person who has served our great nation in this selfless way as well as to their families who must live their lives seperated from their loved ones and who are left with the knowledge that an immeasurable loss as described below is always a strong possibility.

Daddy's Poem

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
Her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
And she couldn't wait to go..
But her mommy tried to tell her,
That she probably should stay home...
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
Of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,
For her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
She tried to keep her daughter home...

But the little girl went to school
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
A dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the back wall,
For everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
Anxious in their seats

One by one the teacher called
A student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
As seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
A man who wasn't there.

'Where's her daddy at?'
She heard a boy call out.
'She probably doesn't have one,'
Another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
She heard a daddy say,
'Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day.'

The words did not offend her,
As she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
Who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
Came words incredibly unique.

'My Daddy couldn't be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
Since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
And how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories
He taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
And ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me,
Even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
He'll forever be in my heart'

With that, her little hand reached up,
And lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
Her mother stood in tears...
Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love
Of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,
Staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.

'I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.

You see he is a soldier
And died just this past year
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy
And taught brave men to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away...'
And then she closed her eyes,
And saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
They saw him at her side.

'I know you're with me Daddy,'
To the silence she called out.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far.

ALWAYS TAKE THE TIME....TO LIVE AND LOVE
Proud U.S. Army Veteran!
SSG. JOSEPH C. STANLEY

I Am So Frustrated...

2009-11-06T10:08:00.000-08:00

C has been on another of her "not sleeping" kicks. She seems to go through cycles of sleeplessness... Or rather, she seems to go through cycles of sleeping. Most of the time she has sleepless nights. I can't get a grip on her cycles. I can't help but wonder if her sleeplessness comes in conjunction with a huge change or not. It seems like it does much of the time but then I wonder why these cycles last so long.

Here's my dilemma: Because she is deaf when C is awake at night she doesn't know how loud she is, so she laughs and talks out loud and plays with her toys as if nobody else in the house was sleeping. She could care less; or so it seems. And nothing I do about it helps. Literally.

Here are some of the things I've tried: Putting her into timeout when she's playing; making her go to bed early the next night; taking away the toys she was playing with. I have even tried the opposite (but only if she doesn't play with her toys and is quiet for the other people in the house): Allowing her to stay awake as long as she wants; allowing her to read books when she's awake. I know there is more but these are the things I've done most... None of which has encouraged her to sleep (or, more importantly, lay peacefully in bed when she can't sleep so the rest of the household doesn't get disturbed all night).

So, if anyone has any other ideas or tricks up their sleeves, I'm more than open to ideas! I will make one request, though... No medications. C has been on the timed release Melatonin quite a lot. It doesn't work for her. And I just can't see putting a 6 year old on a sleeping pill when she functions fairly well with what little sleep she does get. It's the rest of us who have a problem with her sleeping habits. And, if we could put her at one end of the house and us at the other it would be fine because then her restlessness wouldn't be so counterproductive for the rest of us.

In addition to C's sleeping probelms, I'm noticing more and more homework issues. She's beginning to "cheat" on doing her home work. I, quite literally, have to watch her like a hawk so that she doesn't skip sentences or pages for her reading assignments. And she just blots down numbers for her subtraction work. I can't figure out if her issue is a sudden feeling of insecurity due to having a new baby brother or if she's confused or if she's just being lazy so she can go play... She's so dang smart, but seriously, she's taking the route that makes less work for her when she's not being monitored. So, it seems I'm just going to have to stand right on top of her in order to get her to do her homework properly. Anyone have any ideas here, too?

To top things off, in the past couple of months C has begun ignoring my directions. If I tell her to do something she has begun just blowing me off. Oh, she doesn't do it all the time (not like M), but come on... She's changing. It suddenly hit me (as I was typing this ) that it's almost like she's starting to go through puberty! Hmmm... I wonder?!?

God how I love this girl, but she is driving me bonkers!!! ;) UGH!!!

Halloween... Trick Or Treat

2009-11-02T08:56:00.000-08:00

We enjoyed ourselves Saturday night. M dressed as a Ninja Warrior with these scary claws; C went as a Gypsy. She looked great and actually won the Most Creative award at M's school carnival on Friday night; MJ was a red Chili Pepper and was very adorable. We bought M's and MJ's cosutmes at Costumes Express. They were timely and not too pricey for the outfits I bought. They were very pricey on many of their outfits, which is why C had to make her own outfit. She had chosen a Gypsy from the magazine but it was more than $60. So, I put some of my clothes on her, bought a couple of scarves that had been on sale for $3 each and some oversized gold jewelry from Walmart. I added some make-up and she looked GREAT! M actually looked pretty awesome, too. Being Japanese-Korean he looked the part of a Ninja, as the picture above shows.

On Saturday night, we went into town (we live in the country and must drive into town to Trick or Treat). We met my sister and her family (her hubby, their three kids and her sister-in-law) in town and had a fun time together.

This year was quite hillarious because every few minutes there would be sudden shouts of, "Hi M_____!" coming from so many different kids (mostly girls) from all the different grades... Not just from his classmates! It happened so often that my sister and brother(-in-law) began teasing him by yelling "HI M_____", too!!! It was so funny and was made even funnier because Matthew didn't seem to realize what was going on, though towards the end of the night his "hi" was sounding tired.

C walked with R (my sister's sister-in-law) the entire time while M buzzed between everyone; but when we came upon a scary house he refused to go up to the door so he waited with the three adults (minus R who took C to the doors); he insisted on staying with me. Sadly it didn't dawn on me to get pictures of MJ at a few of the homes in order to capture his first trick or treating until Sunday morning... Hmm... A bit too late!!!

The kids and I ended up leaving at 8:00 while my sister's gang stayed the course. We had started at about 6:45, so they got a good hour and some change of trick or treating... Way more than enough for me!!! I was pooped and even M had begun asking when we would be done. So, we left WELL before they did. The three kids and I walked all the way back from down town to the fire house where we parked our cars (the distance sounds like a lot, but we live in a town with 750 people in it, so the walk was only about a mile and a half); it took us 25 minutes. There were people around until we got to LaFayette Street where we had to walk (in the dark) alone up a BIG HILL. I was a little nervous, but we made it just fine with no encounters of any kind (I was more nervous about wild critters than of strangers). My brother (-in-law) offered to walk back with us, but I said no. I should have asked him to get the van and pick us up at a friend's house. THAT would have been smart since I had to push the stroller up that long hill with the two big kids holding onto the sides. They weren't very helpful, either... I was pulling them, too. Needless to say, my legs were killing me and I was out of breath by the time we got to the top.

By the time we got home it was well after 8:30. And, since they had dinner excessively early, they were hungry. So I allowed them to get a peanut butter sandwich (they opted not to have jelly, which was probably a good thing for so late at night). Their normal bed time is 8:00, so after all that walking and the late hour M and C were worn out. Needless to say, by the time they crawled into bed just after 9:00pm they were out cold!!!

But, we had a blast... Okay, everyone but me had a blast since I'm not one for going out trick or treating. I prefer to stay at home to pass out candy... Next year it's all on you, Daddy!!!

Ed Freeman

2009-10-23T16:31:00.000-07:00

This in an email I recieved and I thought it was worth being posted here in memory of him and men like him, present, past and future. They are true HEROS!!! Below the email is a short paragraph about Ed Freeman, per Wikipedia.

You're a 19 year old kid. You're critically wounded and dying in the jungle in the Ia Drang Valley. November 11, 1965; LZ X-ray; Vietnam. Your infantry unit is outnumbered 8-1 and the enemy fire is so intense, from 100 or 200 yards away, that your own Infantry Commander has ordered the MediVac helicopters to stop coming in.
You're lying there, listening to the enemy machine guns and you know you're not getting out. Your family is 1/2 way around the world, 12,000 miles away, and you'll never see them again. As the world starts to fade in and out, you know this is the day.Then - over the machine gun noise - you faintly hear that sound of a helicopter.
You look up to see an unarmed Huey. But ... it doesn't seem real because no Medi-Vac markings are on it. Ed Freeman is coming for you. He's not Medi-Vac so it's not his job, but he's flying his Huey down into the machine gun fire anyway. Even after the Medi-Vacs were ordered not to come. He's coming anyway. And he drops it in and sits there in the machine gun fire, as they load 2 or 3 of you on board. Then he flies you up and out through the gunfire to the doctors and nurses. And, he kept coming back!! 13 more times!! He took about 30 of you and your buddies out who would never have gotten out.

Medal of Honor Recipient, Ed Freeman, died last Wednesday at the age of 80, in Boise, Idaho. May God Rest His Soul.

Medal of Honor Winner
Ed Freeman

From Wikipedia on this date:
"Ed W. "Too Tall" Freeman (November 20, 1927 - August 20, 2008) was a United States Army helicopter pilot who received the U.S. military's highest decoration, the Medal of Honor, for his actions in the Battle of Ia Drang during the Vietnam War. During the battle, he flew through gunfire numerous times, bringing supplies to a trapped American battalion and flying dozens of wounded soldiers to safety. Freeman was a wingman for Major Bruce Crandall who also received the Medal of Honor for the same missions."

He's Off

2009-09-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

Waiting for Matt to get off the plane:
Here comes Dad:
Our oldest son is so happy to see Dad that he can't control his tears:
Dad and Daughter pose with our newest addition:
Mom and MJ take a nap:
Today has been a somewhat sad day so far... And it's only 9:00 in the morning. Matt headed back to Iraq this morning leaving me feeling bereft and lonely, though I am lovingly surounded by my blessed children and my family, for which I am grateful.

Matt arrived safely on Saturday, August 29th around 11:00am. Luckily, because of the timing of his arrival in Dallas on that day, his actual leave didn't officially start until midnight on Sunday. So we all got to have almost a full extra day with Daddy. It was fabulous, so I'm not going to complain that he had to leave so early this morning to make it back to Dallas by noon today.

I must tell you all how amazing Matt's arrival in Sacramento was... The folks waiting to board the plane Matt had just disembarked gave the 3 Soldiers (well, 1 was a Marine) a standing ovation. It was very sweet and made me cry even more when I was able to get my hands on him. I stood back and let the kids love on their daddy first.

Matt couldn't keep his hands off my belly the entire drive home. It wasn't until we were nearly home that he felt MJ move for the first time, though I could feel him jumping around like there was no tomorrow. I guess Matt just needed practice to know what he was experiencing. And, for comic relief, Matt decided to drive home from the airport. During the trip he finally burst out with the fact that he had only gotten about 4 hours of sleep during the previous 72 hours. Great... And we were letting him drive? What were we thinking? But, he got us home safely, though definitetely NOT swiftly. That guy drove 5 miles per hour UNDER the speed limit. And in California that's worse than speeding!!! lol.

During Matt's 15 days of leave we did loads of stuff, yet nothing at all. I gave birth to our youngest son, MJ. So now we have 3 beautiful children... 2 adopted and 1 biological. They are all so precious; I can't believe how lucky we are!!! Poor Matt spent his first 6 days in the hospital with me. I was admitted on Monday, September 31st and MJ was born via c-section on Tuesday, September 1st at 2:28pm. I was released on Friday, September 4th. But, we spent all day Sunday in the hospital, too, for the first round of ripening. Monday was the second round of ripening using something called (or similar sounding to) doxycyclene. It looked like a shoe string that the doctor tucked in behind my cervix. It began working around 3:30pm and threw me into full blown labor. Sadly, though, it didn't ripen my cervix. So, Matt asked my OB doctor what our next step would be and he laid out all the possibilities... We chose to go the route of a c-section rather than go through more ripening with the distinct possibility of still having to have a c-section.

The following week was full of caring for me during my recovery from surgery. Matt took care of the big kids while I cared for MJ (he's being breastfed... What a shocker for me as I hadn't intended on going that route). Matt ended up doing some repairs to the guesthouse for the kids and I. My dad helped him a bit with some of the projects, but basically Matt took care of everything for us.

The last few days that Matt was here we spent upstairs in the guesthouse. Because the guesthouse is over my parent's garage and the doctor told me no stairs we were staying in my parent's house. But, with lots of care, I recovered enough to be able to spend the last few days alone with Matt (and the kids, of course). My OB was super surprised at the speed of my recovery. He was so surprised that when I sat up on the table he actually took a step backwards and made an exclamation about how well I was doing. Though, I have to admit that I over did it this past week when I went shopping with Matt and Mom. I wasn't suposed to be able to walk a block until my 4th week of recovery and here I was walking around Wal-Mart in the middle of my 2nd week of recovery... WAY too much, I admit; I was in massive pain for several days after.

What is even more suprising than my recovery is the newly discovered knowledge that Matt's grandmother has been reading our family blogs. We were told in no uncertain terms that we had been disowned by Matt's Dad's side of the family (there was a rather large fight between me and my mother-in-law and 2 sisters-in law over the adoption of our daughter back in September 2005). Anyway, back to the point of this paragraph... Matt's dad left a message on our cell on Friday night congratulating us on our newest addition. To say that Matt was pissed at me is a complete understatement... When "Dad" told him congratulations Matt thought I had gone behind his back and shared our joyous news with his family without his permission. Little did we know that "Grandma" reads our blog regularly and was able to tell "Dad" about his newest grandson. This new piece of information about his family keeping the doors open stunned Matt so much that he was actually grinning from ear to ear for more than a day. He, in fact, walked around for the last few days with a glimmer of hope alight in his eyes. I know he hopes for a renewal of congenial relations with his family, though he won't dare admit his hopes aloud for fear of the complete oposite occuring. I do too, though I know I won't be welcomed very warmly, if ever. My point is that we are thrilled that the door to Matt's family is open, even if it is just a crack. This has made Matt so happy, which totally thrills me to pieces.

Anyway, I'll rattle on and on about this subject in the hopes of making that crack in the door open a touch wider for Matt and my kids (especially our oldest son, M, because he still asks why he can't see his grandpa and grandma. He remembers them very well and doesn't understand why they don't love him any more, though we regularly explain that he is still loved it's just that they are angry at Mom and Dad... A truly sad concept for any child, and especially sad for one who is so lacking in self confidence as Little M). So, I'll close here with a warm welcome to Matt's grandma and with the selfish hope that she continues to read this blog. And I'll also close with the reminder that Matt is headed back to Iraq. He will be sorely missed and he will remain in my thoughts and prayers that he comes back to us safe and sound (and FAST)!!!

WE LOVE YOU, MATT!!!

Quick Update

2009-08-30T20:11:00.000-07:00

Just a quick heads up... Big Matt arrived safely from Iraq yesterday morning at 11:06. He called from Dallas and gave me an hour and a half notice before I had to drive to Sacramento to pick him up. Mom, my nephew, the kids and I all raced down there and were able to actually meet him at the gate, thanks to American Airlines who gave us free tickets to get past the security checkpoint. Matt was utterly surprised at seeing us up at the gate rather than waiting for him at the baggage claim!!!

Because he made it home so early in the weekend, my OB doctor and I decided that I would take medication to "ripen" my cervix. We began this morning during my NST. My pelvic exam showed that though my cervix is 80% effaced I have not dialated a single bit. But, because I was having contractions already they only gave me a portion of the usual dose. It increased the frequency and severity of my contractions but did not help me begin dialating. So, we will again head into the birthing center tomorrow morning at 8:30 to take the next step in "ripening" my cervix (we were told this will likely take several days).

On a side note... Today Matt was asked if he was going to be a dad or a grandfather!!! Matt was utterly pissed when the young kid asked him that question, but Mom and I just cried out of pure delight. It truly helped me a lot to hear that story at that particular moment because I was having a decent contraction.

We'll keep you all posted as things progress. I'm off to bed in the hope of sleeping away some of these contractions.
Sending you all much love,
Matt, Manette and kiddos

C's 1st Day Of 1st Grade

2009-08-19T19:36:00.000-07:00

Today was a fun and interesting day... C has been counting down the days until she got to start 1st grade since M started 1st grade three and a half weeks ago. They are in two different school districts. M's district does a modified year round school while C's district does a modified traditional school year. Needless to say, we have loads of vacation days that are completely opposite of each other making planning for mid-year vacations difficult.

Anyway, we had to wake up thirty minutes earlier than when it's only M attending school because of transportation issues. So, we were all up at 6:30 this morning and by 7:15 they were completely done... We actually ended up with twenty-plus minutes extra during which time I could barely contain C inside the house!

Because it was C's 1st day, I blew off my volunteer morning in M's class (I'm the "drop-in Mom... I gather homework, put new homework in the folders, gather lunch tickets and breakfast tickets, cut out new work for the kinder-kids, and do other minor work around the class) and took C to school. I was asked to stay in the class until the deaf/hard of hearing specialist was able to arrive, but instead of paying attention to the interpreter, C kept looking to me for huidance, instruction and confirmation. Needless to say, I honestly felt that I was totally interupting C and her classroom time, so I left after being there for only about 10 or 15 minutes. Apparently it was no hardship because I got an email from her deaf/hoh teacher stating that she had a "GOOD" first day.

C actually came home telling me about the kids sitting in the wrong seats and how funny it was. Plus she let me know that she doesn't like her interpreter. This is funny because she doesn't like anybody who she doesn't know and takes quite a long time to warm up to someone. I know the interpreter will work out fine, but C had expected to have the same interpreter that she had last year. Sadly, though, that interpreter moved on to the second grade class with the other deaf student (C's best, best friend, who she missed very much).

M, too, had a wonderful day, even though he had to wake up super early. Hopefully the rest of the school year will go well for both M and C. I also had a great day. My mom and I went on several errands that we were able to complete without the hounding of kids. We even got to enjoy a quiet adult lunch out as well as some browsing through a few thrift stores. And, as my beloved husband, Matt, so rudely pointed out after I excitedly told him that I was thoroughly ready for the peace and quiet of having all my children in school, things won't last long... There is an infant soon to join us!!!

Here are a couple of pictures of M and C this morning...

You Pissed Her Off

2009-08-07T19:03:00.000-07:00

Today has been a day filled with errands, doctor appointments and driving. It has, to say the least, worn me out. But, porr little C had to endure each moment with my mom and I. I must say, she did marvelously. Nana even bought her a little doctor's kit so she could have something new to play with to help occupy her time. The look on her face was fantastic, to say the least. She LOVED it. She even showed my OB doctor, who showed more interest than during any of the previous 5-1/2 months of visits. The two of them carried on a conversation about the medical profession (neither one understanding the other's words, but each of them non-the-less thoroughly engaged in the conversation).

After my NST (Non Stress Test) at the Family Birthing Center this morning, we went to lunch and then were off on a 2 hour jaunt to C's Audiology appointment for a 2 hour appointment. It turned out to be a fabulous appointment because Mom and I learned a lot from the audiologist. In fact, one of the things I learned today was that C's cochlear implant only has 8 out 16 electrodes opperational. So, we're going to go back in about 7 weeks to have the Advanced Bionics representative there. This person will bring a much more sophisticated piece of equipment to test the device. Plus, we're going to attempt to get a copy of C's latest CT scan, which we will mail down to the clinic. Between these two things we should find out why the other 8 electrodes are not working properly. One solution (though it is a drastic solution and will be done only if necessary and if all other options don't work) is to reimplant C.

Though I initially said absolutely not to this plan when it was initially brought to our attention several months ago, my opinion has changed due to C's recent diagnosis of Usher Syndrome. We now need to do something to help her have some form of communication with others. Had she been just deaf, then we would not have moved forward with reimplantation nor would we be as concerned about having only 8 electrodes firing in her cochlea. But being deaf and blind, we believe that C deserves some options in her life. Anyway, that means that we have a long road ahead of us to get C up to par with her implant and this clinic really seems like a good one to help us.

We finally arrived home around 4:30 this afternoon. It had been a long day. M seemed to have had a good day, though. He got out of school around noon and Papa picked him up. Papa had loads of work to do, so M got to play inside and watch tons of TV, which he thoroughly enjoyed.

Sadly, though, his fun ended upon my arrival home. I made him turn the TV off and go outside to play, which he took surprisingly well. Nearly an hour after we were outside visiting with my parents, C decided to not follow directions. I did my usual practice of counting to three before taking the correction to the next step. She still didn't follow directions, so she got into even more trouble, after which she plopped herself on the ground and began to cry. Did I mention how dramatic my daughter is? No? Well, let me tell you... DRAMA QUEEN is a complete UNDERSTATEMENT!!! She will cry for nothing (literally) and will cry for 30, 40 or even 60 minutes without stopping. Her goal? To get someone (anyone) to feel sorry for her and to make the punisher feel terrible. Well, let me tell you... It doesn't work with me. It, in fact, irritates me to no end. I can handle her tears for about 10 or 15 minutes, after which I tell her to stop or go to bed. Today was no different. She chose not to stop crying after two warnings and was sent to bed. This made her so mad that she stomped off with a glare in my direction (again, nothing new).

Papa said, "Manette, you pissed her off, AGAIN!" Tell me about it!!!

M, my little copier-catter (his term, not mine), glared at me as he stood up for his sister by saying, "Yeah, Mom. You pissed her off, Meany!!!"

OH MY GOSH!!! My parents both burst into gales of laughter which made me laugh to no end. Do you know how hard it is to correct a child while you, and those around you, are laughing? Well, I can attest to the difficulty of the situation. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't correct him properly. And when I was finally able to get it out that what he said was a bad word, he didn't take me seriously because, "It not a bad word, Mom, cuz you were laughing." Needless to say, I was able to finally tell him that he wasn't allowed to repeat anything that came out of Pop's mouth (while still fighting to control my laughter, of course). Thankfully, Papa and Nana were able to control themselves enough to back me up opn that statement.

Bill Cosby was correct... Kids do say the darnedest things!!!

A New School Year Has Begun

2009-08-04T20:57:00.001-07:00

I thought I would take a moment to update you on M’s first two weeks of school. So far, he’s done marvelously. In fact, today he got into some trouble, but as soon as he got into our van he confessed his errors and was super contrite. The fantastic part was that he didn’t attempt to hide his behavior from me and was upfront and honest. I, of course, rewarded him tremendously with an extra happy face on his “Good Job” board and allowed him to stay up just past 8:00 this evening to watch “Race To Witch Mountain”. He’s been doing very well and I’m so proud of him. I’m hopeful that he’ll continue the good behavior. He actually has begun making friends at school, too. That may go a long way towards helping him feel more confident in himself (a trait he is sadly lacking, which just breaks my heart).

Today, we started our morning by dropping M off at school. He was so adorable… I had to go to the office due to an error in a document I signed last week (though it was pretty much how I wanted it as it was pertaining to health screenings at school; the school had just never had anyone turn them down before, apparently). So, I walked M across the street and nearly to his classroom. The entire time, though, he’s trying to pull his hand out of mine and attempting to run off. I made him walk with me and actually made him give me a kiss once we crossed the street. “Awww, Mom!” instantly spouted from his lips. Apparently I embarrassed him in front of his friends. I found it adorable!

Afterwards, C and I stopped off at my sister’s house to feed their critters (they went to see her fiancé graduate Basic and AIT) before joining my parents for breakfast at a local diner. Next, C, Mom and I went to K-Mart and Wal-Mart and did a bit of shopping. It was the most I had walked for quite some time and I truly felt it by the end of the morning. In fact, Mom had to drive home because I was cramping enough to feel the need to concentrate on relaxing. I did come home with a new movie, some school clothes for C (who really didn’t need any, but we found good deals that I couldn’t pass up), a pair of jammies and a couple of t-shirts for M (who also didn’t need anything, but the deals were good) and baby clothes for MJ, which he does need.

We all enjoyed the morning, though C is still angry that she can’t start school, yet. I did see her dearest friend this afternoon as I was headed to my OB appointment (for an update on how that went, use the link on the left under my blog list and go to my IVF blog). I had a blast chatting with her and her parents and heard all about what Little Miss did this summer. The best part was when I got to tell C about my encounter. The look on her face was truly beautiful, showing excitement that she got to hear news about her beloved friend and sadness that she missed out on the experience. Poor thing! But, school will start for the girls in just 2 weeks, so they can suffer a bit longer… Let’s just hope I can last that long since I have to confirm, daily, that it is not a school day yet!!!

Camping and B-Day Photos

2009-07-11T20:22:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to take a moment to post a few family photos of M's and C's camping trip to Blue Lakes with Nana, Papa, Auntie and Bub. I also am including some photos of M's b-day party which was held a few days after his b-day (it was actually held on a special friend's b-day... July 6). You might notice that in the photo of the two kids flying kytes that M is using the more difficult 2 stringed kyte while C is using a fishing pole... Her beloved Papa tied her kyte to a fishing pole because she was having difficulties flying the kyte without help. This was generally the first time either of my children have flown kytes, so I was impressed at their skill levels (thanks to Nana and Papa taking the time to show them how to do it)!!!

On Wednesday both M and C were seen by their pediatrician. It was lucky that we got that completed because both kids had to have chest x-rays. Here are the results: M has some spots on his lungs which are indicitive of Brochitis (he is prone to those since he had pneumonia 5 times by the time he was 19 months old). He's coughing up thick, green mucus in HUGE amounts. C's chest x-rays came back normal (thank God) but her sinus cavities (which we also had x-rayed) are a solid mass with a sack of fluid indicating a long standing sinus infection. Both kids are on antibiotics and C has a referal to see an ENT for her sinus problems. Hopefully we'll be able to get both kids feeling better soon, because they've been ill WAY TOO long!

Abandoned

2009-07-01T22:10:00.000-07:00

What an awful day it's been... I've been abandoned by my children!!! They went on a camping trip with their Nana and Papa and won't be home for several days. To make things even worse... M's birthday is on the 3rd and he won't be home for that special day. I'm gonna miss his birthday!!! How horrible!!! I had planned on going with them, but my doctor said "NO!" since I was having so many contractions yesterday.

After they left, I sat in my chair and cried like a baby for nearly an hour. I just couldn't stop crying (partly due to their departure and partly due to hormones, I'm sure). But I am hoping and praying that they have a fun and safe trip. We'll have a birthday party (albeit small) once they get home.

Matt is doing great in Iraq. He called late yesterday evening to tell M "Happy Birthday". It was sweet, though M was too busy watching cartoons to really take in the fact that his daddy called from thousands of miles away just to tell him "Happy Birthday". Kids... They're all the same the world over!

Needless to say... I can't wait till they get back. I just know that I'll have a rough time sleeping while they're gone. It seems (per my recent experiences of letting them stay the night at Auntie's house) I have issues sleeping when I don't hear their precious little snores or breathing sounds during the night. Gosh how I miss those little devils!!!

Bringing Home Amy

2009-06-01T17:36:00.000-07:00

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May Update

2009-05-25T21:31:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a while since I've updated my blogs and much has happened in the last month.

First, I was given new medication for my gestational diabetes (you can read more on MJ's blog) and then we went on vacation to see my brother graduate from AIT. He joined the Army and is soon headed to Ft. Eustis, Virginia. Matt was stationed there many years ago. We loved it! There is so much history and so many things to do. I really think they'll love it there! Anyway, we went on vacation and had loads of fun. We went to the Zoo in Columbia as well as the Edventure Children's Museum. All the kids had loads of fun (until Uncle M splashed them at the water display... Go Figure)!

While we were gone I began having some cramping (see MJ's blog for more about this issue) but it has since dissipated, thank God.

We took C back to the eye doctor last week. It was confirmed that she has Usher Syndrome. They are hoping that we can keep her eyes functioning well for the next 10 years or so. After that... ??? Needless to say, Matt and I are now concerned about C going blind as well as being deaf. Hopefully, over the next several years, we can give her the added education she will need to function well. We'll need more education, too... Where to keep things, how to put things back in the exact same spot, how to read braille, etc. It will be interesting, but if anyone can overcome this serious set back it's our daughter!!!

Other than that, all is well and the kids are doing great. M is as spunky as ever, but he's finally settling down to our new home. He's excited about MJ being born as is C. Both will be in 1st grade next year and both are excited about finally having a summer vacation! As am I, but mainly because I'm ready to be able to sleep in on a daily basis!!! lol!!!

I've added several photos... Hope you enjoy! One, in particular, was adorable: This morning M chose a shirt with a collar (something he NEVER wears) and put it on backwards. His reason? Because his neck was cold and he wanted to keep it warm. That's my little problem solver (at just 2 years old he put my vaccuum back together after watching my dad take it appart... And it worked just fine)! He's so smart!!!

Usher Syndrome

2009-04-24T20:32:00.000-07:00

I freely admit that I am a pessimist. I think of the worst possible scenario and replay it over and over in my head. On the positive side, I am always prepared for the worst thing that could happen and am never surprised when it actually occurs. In addition, I'm always pleasantly surprised when my negative scenarios are proven wrong. That's always a nice occurence.

When we first brought C home, though, I predicted that she had Usher Syndrome. She has such horrid balance. She never really showed night vision problems, but that's not saying much since she utterly refused to get out of bed in the dark. She would even lay in her own feces, wide awake. In fact, I always thought she was trained to stay in bed no matter what. In the last few months, though, C has finally overcome her need to wet or poop in bed and is actually getting up on her own to use the bathroom. What a joy that has been, I can tell you. But in doing this I have noticed that she stumbles and shuffles about in a dimly lit room... In fact, the other night, when it was clear and fairly bright, C went to the bathroom. In doing so, she was reaching out in front of her and inching her feet along the floor as if she couldn't see. I could see with such clarity from all the available light that I could nearly see the individual splotches of spackling on the walls (and I wear glasses for distance).

Today, though, has confirmed, in my mind at least, that C will soon be diagnosed with Usher's Syndrome. A couple of weeks ago I took M and C to their new pediatrician. During that visit they had their vision checked. Poor C showed a marked decrease in vision since her last eye exam; she went from a slight vision problem that really didn't need to be corrected to 20/40 vision. So, I immediately scheduled an eye exam for her.

The results of that eye exam (with a much more competent practitioner, I must admit) was that "her eyes are like those of a 40 year old" and that all of her tests indicate she has "Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP)". Her doctor told me that she has "very little peripheral vision" which totally explained why C walks all over things that are left laying on the floor as if she doesn't have a care in the world about destroying it or even as if she couldn't see it... Come to find out she really can't see it! Proving this was a picture of her retina. It showed C's retina to be filled with clusters of little black dots, which are used to diagnose RP. The National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders (see link below) states "An early sign of retinitis pigmentosa, compounded by deafness, is a near-certain indication of Usher syndrome."

At the onset of the appointment today I mentioned Usher Syndrome and my concern about it affecting C. After seeing the results of today's exam the doctor decided she wanted to do some research on Usher's over the next few weeks. She wants us back in about a month to review her findings. I'm still trying to get the kids' medical records sent down from Ft. Lewis. They will come in handy when trying to confirm C's medical history, which will help confirm or deny the possibility of Usher's.

Well, we'll work with what we've been given. I'd rather C be diagnosed earlier rather than later, if she's going to be diagnosed, in order to help her (and us) learn how to live with this syndrome. Hopefully we can all learn different and more inventive ways to communicate more fully with each other before she goes fully blind. Here's hoping and praying that I'm wrong. But if I'm right, here's hoping and praying that she can learn how to live a happy, healthy and productive adult life and that we can learn how to communicate to the fullest extent possible!!!

Either way, I think this is a great learning tool for others so that they, too, can be aware of this unique, but rare, syndrome. I've included a few links to allow those of you who are interested to get a more educated understanding about what Usher Syndrome actually is:
Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Usher_syndrome
National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders: http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/hearing/usher.asp
http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/hearing/usher_new.asp (The latest findings regarding Usher's)

Belated Happy Easter

2009-04-14T16:03:00.000-07:00

So I'm late, as usual, with my holiday post. But, what's new? I hope everyone had a beautiful holiday. We celebrated a day early beacuse my sister had to work on Sunday night. She needed to be able to get a good day's rest so that she wouldn't fall asleep answering 911 calls... We all know how horrid that would end up!!! For her and the people on the other end of the line!

Anyway, we thoroughly enjoyed our time together, though it would have been nicer had Matt been able to be with us (but that's to be expected with a deployment). ;) Needless to say, the rest of us had a nice time. I've added a few photos for your entertainment! Enjoy...

Dental Work...

2009-04-01T18:37:00.000-07:00

Dental Work and More Dental Work! That's right, I'm going to be living in an Orthodonists office for the next year and a half. Poor little Mr. M must have numerous proceedures done in order to help elleviate the need of surgery at a later date. His Orthodonist actually said that he came in at the perfect age to bypass surgery later, so I'm pleased and will happily spend the $2,500 needed to give him this opportunity.

M has a class 3 bite (an underbite) and will need to wear a brace to pull his upper jaw forward and his lower jaw backwards. It will also help align his crooked bite.

But, before that happens M will need to have stretcher-thingy put into his mouth to help stretch his upper jaw. It is way too small for his teeth and desperately needs to be expanded. Every morning and night I will have to crank it wider in order to stretch his tiny upper jaw. My sister (-in-law) says that those HURT!!! Poor little dued!

But, before that happens, M will need to have braces to help straighten out his baby teeth. They are impacting his adult teeth and not allowing them to come through. That's being started on Monday. They say it doesn't hurt, but I'm sure it will and M will be a little bear! Not that I blame him!!!

Hopefully, by the time we're done, M will have a good set of teeth in a fabulous jaw!!! but, to say he is terrified is an understatement... Poor little man!!!

Safe Travels, My Love

2009-03-17T19:36:00.000-07:00

Matt is officially off to Iraq today... SAFE TRAVELS, MY LOVE!!!

Good News...

2009-03-17T15:04:00.000-07:00

Several years ago we bought 1.7 acres of bare land in Northern California from my great-grandmother. She was tired of paying taxes on land she would never use; most of the other family members really had no desire to own the land either and strangers weren't offering her anything she was even remotely interested in considering, so we happily bought it (for such a dirt cheap price that even today I feel terribly guilty). The area is stunning and Matt and I had ideas of retiring there.

But, we began adopting and, most recently, we wanted to adopt our 3rd child internationally. So, in November 2007 Matt and I sold the property in order to help bring home our next child. We had enough capital gain on the land to cover about 1/2 of our expenses.

The purchaser offered us our full asking price plus 10% interest if we would carry a note for 18 months. Knowing that the wait to bring home a child was lengthy we complied with her request. Sadly, the purchaser made only 5 payments, of which only 3 were for the full amount, before coming up with excuse after excuse for not paying the note.

Needless to say, after giving the purchaser more than 4 months to catch up on what was owed, we began the foreclosure process. It has taken several months and nearly $2,000 to get here, but we finally saw the light at the end of teh tunnel. The property was set to be auctioned off last week for nearly $10,500!

BUT, as is usual for me, something went awry: The original purchaser SOLD the property out from under us, TOOK THE CASH and RAN!!! Yep, she sold the property to an inexperienced 20 year old who didn't know that title checks were needed or that he should verify the legitimacy of purchasing the land... The poor kid got SCREWED!!!

I couldn't believe the gall of this lady... And, to be honest, I would love to track her down and sue the pants off of her for messing with me, my family, making me loose out on adopting another child, for screwing with a KID and, most especially, for getting away with EVERYTHING she did!!! I ABHOR people like that. It's those kind of people that make humanity so lacking in trust and trustworthiness... SO SAD!!!

Anyway, back to where the good news comes in. On March 4th we got a call from our foreclosure agent who explained what had happened, which, of course, made me panic because I could just imagine all that I would loose. Thankfully, the new turn of events just put the auction on hold for an additional week. The new owner had to be notified, in writing, of the foreclosure and he had to be allotted a certain amount of time to come up with the appropriate funds to legally purchase the property, if he so chose. The new date for the auction was set for March 18th at 11:00am... Which will never take place because the new owner was able to come up the money, which I will have in my hands by Friday (Monday, at the latest).

Needless to say, as soon as that check gets here my happy little self is making a nice little investment in preparation for our next adoption (after I take myself out for dinner in celebration, of course... Cuz after this fiasco I deserve it)!!!

PS... To all my bloggy friends... I'm so sorry I haven't had great opportunities to read your sites or to update my blogs, but know that I'm always thinking of you!!!

I Gotta Take Care Of My Momma!!!

2009-03-08T14:41:00.000-07:00

These last few days (and weeks) have been a big rush where we've accomplished nothing... And a lot!

We got the kids established in school. C is attending 1st grade now rather than kindergarten because there is another 6 year old girl who is in 1st grade in a local school. We were struggling to give C the opportunity to learn further communication skills, social skills and educational skills while not forcing her to travel for 3 or so hours each day. We, in fact, had determined our best route for C was to simply mainstream her in our local school with an interpreter and hope for the best. Fortunately, though, there is a family living nearby who is deaf (C and I actually met them last night... I'll tell you all about that further down). Their daughter is the child with whom C is attending school. M is in the school here in town, but we decided to place him in kindergarten instead of 1st grade (which is where he was at back in Washington). He's finding the grade to be too easy, but at least he won't be made fun of when he repeats 1st grade (which he desperately needs). In addition, he gets to be in the same classroom as one of his cousins!!! That was pretty exciting for M. He's still a bit embarrassed about being placed back in kindergarten but I explained to him that the teacher really needed his help for the little kids. I think that helped boost his ego a bit and made the "demotion" a bit easier to handle. Both C's and M's teachers are fabulous and are both working hard on behalf of our kiddos... And the kiddos are really enjoying their placements.

My parents are still in Mexico... Having way too much fun, I'm sure. We're staying in their house while they are gone but will be moving into their guesthouse as soon as they return (Dad needs to get the gas line for our new gas fireplace hooked up and bled before I can use it). I have the TV and internet scheduled to be connected on the morning of the 16th and only need to get the gas tank filled, the hot water turned on and the phone connected before I can be comfortable up there.

Matt got off perfectly fine. He arrived back in Washington on Friday afternoon. One of his (our) friends picked him up and took him to the car rental place on post so he could have transportation for the week or so before he deploys. He's staying with yet another friend who is being wonderful by helping us out in this way. It's saving us loads of money and gives Matt a more friendly environment to hang out in instead of being lonely for the next 10 days or so.

Last night we attended a Deaf Social. We had a blast!!! It was great fun being able to sign and practice my receptive skills. I (quite literally) learned about 60 new ligns, though, to be honest, I can only recall about 25 or 30 of them... Not bad in my book! That just goes to show me that I can learn far more when there are others with whom I can communicate rather than simply trying to learn from a book. My biggest challenge is to learn how to use ASL while speaking. That is a huge challenge!!! We were at the pizza joint for just over 2 hours and by the time I arrived home my arms were aching from signing so much and my brain was fried from trying to think in both English AND ASL. But, again, I had a blast!

M and C spent most of the day with my sister and her family yesterday. They had way too much fun. The fun continued for M since he was invited to spend the night with them, too... It was his first sleep over at someone else's house and he loved it! He did come home quite shaken up with his asthma so we're struggling to get that back under control. He always gets a big asthma attack when we're here for any lengthy time, so I should have started his treatments as soon as we got here to help prevent this very thing. But, I was being a neglectful mother and didn't get it done. So, now we're playing "cure" instead of "prevention".

Anyway, last night my brother-in-law invited M, C and me to go to the snow with their gang. I preferred not to go because baby makes me super car sick (and the road to Tahoe can be terrible in that arena). But, I said M and C were more than welcome to go since this might be the last time they get to see their cousin (my brother-in-law is off to basic in a couple of weeks so Little Man might have to stay with his mother who, sadly, won't allow him to visit his step-family).

My sister and her gang showed up to pick up my niece and C. I was surprised, to say the least, when M walked in the door and said, "I not going, Momma." He generally loves the snow and will grab any opportunity to play in it. My sister pipes up with, "I'm not too sure he's feeling very well." I took one look at his face and utterly agreed... His asthma had blown out of proportion and he's now feverish. But, he didn't tell anyone that he was feeling poorly. His reason for not going to the snow with Auntie, Uncle and the kids was based solely on the fact that Daddy had a conversation with him before leaving for Iraq.

So, what did M say to Auntie when she asked if he wanted to go with them?

"Is Momma going?"
"No, Baby," Aunte replied.
"Who going to stay with my momma?"
"Nobody, Honey. Mommy's going to take a nap and rest for a bit while we're playing in the snow."
"Oh, I can't go. Daddy told me I need to stay home and take care of my Momma. He say I can't go to the snow."

Sure enough, his daddy did give him the whole "Man Of The House" speach and poor M has taken it almost literally (although I think the fact that he is sick and that he had been out of my presence for longer than 24 hours played a part in his decison making, too). So, I immediately called Matt and told him that he needed to clarify M's job of "staying home to take care of Momma", which he did!

On The Move Again

2009-02-19T23:48:00.000-08:00

It's been quite a while since I've updated this blog. My sincerest appologies. I've been so sick lately... Growing babies is tough work!!! Somebody was watching over me today because I was illness free, finally! (Thank You!)

So, without further adoo... Here is a quick summary of the happenings here:

Matt has been working frantically to get both our family and himself ready for our move and his deployment. He's been packing up the house all by himself. I've been so sick this past month that I can barely get off the couch each day. It's agony just to get out of bed and walk down the stairs, never mind walk back up them each evening to crawl back into bed. And those two or three rare days that I've felt good (today being one of those days) I've been so weak that I feel light-headed just moving. But, I digress... Matt is working like crazy for both our family and the Army that I think he's actually getting worn out... And he hasn't even left for his deployment, yet. In fact, I'm willing to bet that he's anxious to get this done and over with so he can get to Iraq and have some peace and quiet (anything is better and more peaceful than he's had here at home lately). So, needless to say, I am more grateful to him for his perseverance than anyone else could imagine. He is an amazing husband, wonderful father and a fabulous soldier who takes each and every thing thrown at him and manages it like it's an every day task.

The kids are doing well. We have school at my parent's house all lined up for them. In fact, we are lining up a mainstream program within our local school for C. And, since the area/school is such a small community M and C will actually be in the same class (Kindergarten and 1st grade are taught by the same teacher)! It will be neat having my children attend the school I went to as a little girl!

Other than that, all is well. We'll be leaving Washington State on Monday and will make our trip into a 2-day event as we mosey down the western states. Hopefully, the weather and my health stay on our side, at least until we arrive! So, this is signing off for another couple of weeks (at least until we get settled)... See you on the flip side!!! ;)

Report Card Day

2009-01-30T22:37:00.000-08:00

Today was a spectacular day for both of our little angels. They brought home their report cards and boy were we pleasantly surprised!!! C made some improvements to her report card (although she does so well in school it's difficult for her to have improvements at all, thereby making the improvements all the more wonderful)! And M made DRASTIC improvements. He got almost ALL "S's" with a few "S+'s" and several "N's". Last quarter, his report card was nearly all "N's" with a few "S's" spattered around. The remarks from the teachers were spectacular. And, although he is in the lowest reading group, he has made huge improvements there, too. The only subject he is truly having problems in is Math (although he still struggles with Reading, too).

To top it all off, M brought home yet another note telling me he passed ANOTHER reading test!!! THAT MAKES 3 IN A ROW!!!

Both kids are getting the opportunity of picking a toy for a reward!!! How much more proud can a parent be?!? They Did GREAT!!!

Saint Theresa

2009-01-24T12:17:00.000-08:00

Okay... So I received this from a very special lady in my life and, though I tend not to forward too many things, I really felt touched by this prayer. As I read it I thought about my life and all that had happened in it; the good things, the bad things and the things that I never thought would matter. And it dawned on me that all these things combined has given me a most precious gift: My Wonderful Life! I have a family who loves me, children I couldn't live without and a husband who means the world to me. I have faith in myself, faith in my world and faith in those around me. Most importantly, I FIRMLY believe that everything that has happened throughout my life has given me something to be proud of: LOVE and ACCEPTANCE! So, I wanted to share this with each of you, because there are so many special people out there who have given me something to look forward to, dream of and goals to achieve, especially within the world of adoption and with my own family. So, thank you and I wish each of you a wonderful, peaceful and fulfilled life that is full of love and acceptance!

In case anyone is not aware, Saint Theresa is known as the Saint of the Little Ways. Meaning she believed in doing the little things in life well and with great love. She is also the patron Saint of flower growers and florists. She is represented by roses.

St. Theresa's Prayer:
'May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.'

Yet Another IEP Meeting

2009-01-22T16:06:00.000-08:00

I attended C's IEP meeting this morning. I was really rather pleased with how the IEP was written. C's Deaf/HoH teacher was able to include some of my needs for C, albeit in a manner more fitting to what can be included in an IEP rather than my specific demands. I must admit that I was quite worried that my desires (more importantly, what I felt was best for my daughter) wouldn't be addressed as clearly as their desire to see her speak/use her cochlear implant. So, to say that I was pleasantly surprised that my concerns were addressed as best they could is an understatement.

Oh, I know that they've listened to me all year long (they really do) but they can only do so much with the program that they started within the school district. Especially when they have parents clammoring for so many different communication instructions (most of whom wanted an oral based Total Communication while a select few, okay... Only me, wanted an ASL based program). I actually feel very sorry for C's Deaf/HoH team because of this very reason. And, to be perfectly honest, I'm the biggest culprit.

Knowing how difficult I made their world, I was certain that my concerns would have been brushed over with minimal effort. Oh me of little faith... That trust that I have in Mr. K (who has been my guiding force since moving here) should have seeped over onto everyone else.

Needless to say, each and every one of my desires for C's education were placed in the IEP in the best manner Mrs. H could possibly add them. So, my sincerest thanks to her and her team for listening to my concerns.

I do have to admit, before anyone reading this thinks that this school has done anything to the contrary, that Mrs. H and Mr. K have both completely understood and empathsized with me regarding C's education. In a nutshell, C was removed from an amazing deaf/hoh Total Communication program that was well established with an emphasis on ASL and SEE (for reading) and had numerous children her age who all signed as their main corm of communication and placed in a new Total Communication program that was Oral Based and designed for preschoolers. This means that she's been mainstreamed for Kindergarten and goes to the Self-Contained Deaf/HoH classroom in the afternoon. The initial school gave C the social ability to interact with her peers (and by peers I FIRMLY mean other DEAF children within her own age range). She completely lost this ability since the students she got put with are her HEARING peers. Though C can interact well with anyone, she does best in a situation where she is able to interact with those who are most like her (just as the rest of humanity does).

So, though the program C is currently in is doing very well (and is expanding tremendously), it just was not what I felt was right for C. Seriously, would you willingly move your child from a school where they are getting A's and excelling at everything they do to a school where nobody was like them and where your child had to rely on a select few adults to interact with their peers? This would be the same as taking your child from an English speaking school and placing them in a Deaf school with an interpreter and expecting them to do well and socialize with the other kids. It's not fair to do that to a hearing child, so why do that to a deaf child?

This is my philosophy and I fought for this change for the majority of the school year. Obviously, I had to conceed and it's turned out fine (not as good as if she were in the other program, but I've been fairly content with her progress). It's been great to hear that she's in the top of her class for reading! And she's so smart and able to adjust to whatever environment she is put into, so I rarely worry. I just want the absolute BEST for my children!

And, I think that Mrs. H was able to accommodate most of my concerns, while leaving the IEP open just enough to be able to work more fuildy within C's perameters (since she's so swift at picking up new tools).

In fact, Mrs. Kinder-H (C's Kindergarten teacher) validated my concerns by stating that her students want to interact with C but always needed the interpreters help to talk with her. In so doing, they loose the one-on-one interaction, though they would try. In addition, Mrs. Kinder-H felt that C never connected with her. It wasn't until yesterday while I was waiting to pick M up from school that C acknowledged her with a huge wave and a smile, the first time C has acknoweldged her without prompting.

So, with a hearty thanks to Mrs. H, Mrs. Kinder-H, Mr. K (especially) and the ENTIRE team who worked with C, Thank You for all you have done this year and for putting up with a demanding parent!

Can IVF Really Work?

2009-01-20T09:34:00.000-08:00

As most of you know, I am super passionate about adoption. I think it is a miracle to be able to raise a family through adoption. Even so, Matt and I have tried off and on for more than 15 years to become pregnant through minor fertility treatments.

When we first realized we were not going to get pregnant (shortly after we were married 15-1/2 years ago) we thought about trying IVF (invitro fertilization). With the prices being so high, though, we nixed the idea almost as swiftly as it came into our wee-little heads.

This past April, though, we decided to give "it" one more shot. We went to our primary doctor for a referral to the Fertility Specialist, which we got instantly.

We saw Dr. C for the first time in June. The first thing he said was, "After reviewing your past treatments and your health history, I truly believe you are a perfect candidate for IVF."

Needless to say, Matt and I were stunned. This was never a possibility, at least, not since the first year or two, so we didn't know what to say (or do). But with a glance at each other we both instantly got excited and said, "HELL YAH!" So, he put us on the list and here we are today... More than 7 weeks pregnant with a healthy embryo whose heart is beating 150 times per minute.

I have another blog, which I started in September or October (can't remember exactly when... Apparently a side effect of pregnancy). I just opened it up for public viewing, so feel free to go on over and browse. I am about to update it with the ultra sound photo I got today. Enjoy... And yes, IVF can and does work!!!

http://instantlyfertile.blogspot.com/

Twins!

2009-01-19T17:21:00.000-08:00

We're back to having twins, again. Today was C's 6th birthday. And though we only had a very small intimate family gathering, her little party turned out nice. My parents mailed several gifts (and my dad picked out her birthday card, which she loved). A close family, who lives in Texas, sent C up a tons of gifts (which totally overwhelmed her). And our precious neighbor brought her a birthday present earlier today. Matt, M and I gave C our own little gift, too.

So, what did she get? A TON of Hello Kitty products (from drawing paper to pencils, nail polish, hair barettes, a very cute outfit and the list goes on and on and on) from our Texas friends, a Nintendo DS Kung Fu Panda video game from our neighbor (to go with the DS's Santa brought to the kids at Christmas), two small squishy dolls from Matt, M and I and a couple of precious moment statues and a cute teddy bear that came with it's own clothes for C to dress from my parents. She hit the jackpot!

Hope you enjoy the photos of her special day!

Why Don't You Adopt From Foster Care?

2009-01-18T14:34:00.000-08:00

This question was posed to one of my Yahoo! groups. People ask me this all the time and I tend to give the same answer (a much more brief response than what is found below), but I thought I would post it here so that anyone else who is curious may be able to better understand the choices an adoptive faimly makes and why. Though this by no means covers every one's reasons, it does tend to cover a majority. Plus, this gives the public a great opportunity to know some point that they can make to their own givernment agencies to help fix a broken system! Enjoy the read. I hope it stirs up your emotions and makes you think about the life of an adoptive family and the lives of the children they love:

Dear Ma'am,

You touched on a subject that is close to my heart. Our son was adopted from foster care and we attempted to adopt two more beautiful little boys through foster care, as well. Unfortunately, those precious boys went to their bio-aunt who, after being legally free and placed with our family for 9 months specifically for adoption, suddenly decided she wanted them. Needless to say, we were heartbroken to such a degree that we felt as if our children died. We turned to International Adoption (China) and brought home our beautiful deaf daughter.

Having said that, I will express a personal opinion that I tell everyone who asks me this very same question: There are millions of children around the world who need loving homes and families. Each country and adoption program is unique with their own draw-backs, hurdles and rewards. Each individual family must consider what they can handle and make the choices that best fit their needs.

I can tell you that it can be extremely difficult to adopt children from with in our own country, far more so than through most other countries. Family members show up and decide they want the kids we, as adoptive families, have cared for and grown to love or birth parents suddenly change their minds after we've faithfully paid expenses and put our hearts on the line. Granted, these things can happen with any adoption, but it seems (in my experience) that those of us who want to adopt from within our own borders experience it far more. In addition, we are being shut out and dealt with as secondary entities by social workers, governments and biofamilies. Granted, the children must be their first priority, but somewhere we should have rights to be protected and be allowed to raise the children we've grown to love so much.

To make another point, families tend to adopt from locations that they feel drawn to. Our next adoption will most likely happen in Ethiopia, though that's not set in stone, because we feel that our next child is waiting there. We have to follow where our hearts lead. I don't question those who refuse to adopt or those who can't adopt. They have to follow their hearts and what is right for them just as we do.

With all that being said, I firmly believe that the foster and adoption laws in the US need to be changed and/or ammended to better protect adoptive families and the children they are adopting. I advocate for that to happen with letters to my congressmen/women and voicing my concerns to those who ask why I "don't adopt from the US foster care system". One day, children will be far better protected and adoptive families will be better represented, uniting two groups of people who dearly desire to be a family.

I realize that foster parents see the foster care system in a different light than those of us who have tried adopting these very special children. But, they don't see the hurt and the pain adoptive families go through due to the loss of a foster child who was placed with them for the purpose of adoption. We'll adopt again from foster care, but we're not ready to risk our hearts and souls like that again, yet.

The children in the US foster care system remain in my heart. But the government needs to take action to fix a very broken system! To give you an example, there was a 2 year old little girl in our local area who had been placed in foster care. Her maternal grandparents attempted to adopt her but the little girl's social worker decided they were "meddling" into her affairs and so advocated for them to not get her. They fought for a year to get her back and, finally, the judge allowed them to adopt her (because the reason for the social worker's denial was petty, unrealistic and done for personal reasons).

I hope this has given you some insight as to how a family chooses where to adopt a child from. And, I also hope it gives you, and others who want to help the children of our beautiful country, some good points to make with your own congressmen/women in order to help change the lives of these precious children.

Sincerely,
Manette

Happy School Days

2009-01-16T15:26:00.000-08:00

Today was a fabulous day. First, both kids were at school today leaving Matt and I at home for our second ever "Adult Day" (since he has a four-day weekend thanks to MLK). We, along with our neighbor, went to a fabulous little fish market in downtown Tacoma and ate a wonderful clam chowder (the best I've ever eaten). Matt packed his personal gear that he'll be shipping to Iraq in short period and I took a much needed nearly two-hour nap!

The day got better because Miss C was sent home with some very nice notes from her kindergarten teacher and the school's PTA wishing her a very happy birthday (her sixth birthday is on Monday and we'll be back to having twins for another five-and-a-half months).

It didn't stop there, though... Mr. M passed yet another reading test!!! Yep, that's right!!! He passed ANOTHER reading test!!! That's TWO IN A ROW!!! An amazing feat for him since he just passed his second (out of nine) reading test last week!!! What a GREAT way to start the weekend!!!

6 More Weekends

2009-01-13T10:23:00.000-08:00

With only six weekends left living in Washington State we're working up a storm packing up our house. Since this move is our choice while Matt is deployed we are required to do all the work ourselves.

So, for the past several weekends, Matt has cleaned out the garage and we've begun working on the indoors. The garage was so full of our stuff that we couldn't get the van parked inside. In fact, it was so crowded in there that we had to walk a specific trail just to get to the stand-up freezer. We couldn't even store the garbage cans in there... They just wouldn't fit!

Needless to say, our van is now able to park inside the garage... With TONS of room to spare! I LOVE it and will enjoy the remaining six weeks of getting from the house to the van without getting soaked from sprinting through the rain.

In the mean time, I have boxes just waiting to be filled. Oh we'll need lots more, but at least I have stuff that I can work with for the next week or two.

We also scheduled our housing pre-inspection and final out inspection. On February 3rd, between 8:00am and 12:00pm the inspector will come out and see what we need to repair and clean (I'm hoping he won't have us clean the carpets, but I have a feeling he will since we have pets). And on February 23rd, between 9:00 and 11:00am another inspector will come out to ensure we did everything that was on the list to do (properly, of course), at which time we will turn in all the keys we were issued along with the garage door openers (which we are now able to use) and then we will be on our merry little way to California.

So... The busy little bees that we are: We have lots of work to do and only six weeks left to do it in!

Talk About "Thank God"...

2009-01-09T14:53:00.001-08:00

I received a FABULOUS phone call this morning from M's reading teacher, Mrs. V. She sounded a bit concerned when I initially answered, so I was preparing myself for a much needed "mother-moment".... You know, that's one of those phone calls where the teacher says, "Mrs. So-And-So, your child is misbehaving and you need to talk to him or I will have to send him home." Okay, well, maybe you don't know what those phone calls are like, but I can tell you from personal experience that my son abhors those phone calls. You see... I don't just sit at home and yell over the phone. I drive myself down to the school, fling myself dramatically into the classroom like a tornado and proceed to make his life a living hell. Thank God I've only had to do that once. Afterwards, all they must do is ask if he needs them to call me into the classroom and his behavior changes like a catepillar changes into a butterfly. It's dramatic to say the least.

But, I digress. This morning's phone call was specatular and had me cryin tears of joy. We had spent the three weeks of winter break (two weeks for winter break and the week prior were snow days here in Washington) playing and just having fun. We didn't study or read or do anything remotely close to what would be considered studying. This was not my intention at all as I had their things set out ready to be read and studied for a brilliant day back at school. This information is vital because it makes the news so much more brilliant!

Young Mr. M PASSED his Chapter 13 reading test! Albiet he did not get a 100%, but he did score enough points to pass. This is so amazing because he has only ever passed one other test after the first month of school! What a pure joy it was to hear this news. Even better? Mrs. V actually cried from joy once she learned that he didn't study at all while he was on Christmas Break!

Needless to say, we're so extremely proud of him and we are giving him a very nice reward: He's having his first sleepover and pizza party (granted, it is with only one friend, but he'll be thrilled)!!! We're even going to allow him to stay awake until 9:00 (his usual bed time is 7:00-7:30). Little Ms. C won't get the extra reward and will still have to follow bedtime rules since she didn't get all of her points this week (making M's reward that much sweeter, of course)!

Oh, Thank God!!!

2009-01-05T09:20:00.000-08:00

It makes one feel almost joyous when a long school break is over. The kids have both been out of school now for more than three weeks, making this one of the longest holiday vacations I have ever endured... Ooops, I mean, enjoyed!

The break was long due to winter weather that hit our area so hard the week before the Christmas break. The kids enjoyed the decent amounts of snow, as did Matt and I (to some extent).

Unfortunately, though, the days kept getting longer and longer. M even started acting out from shear boredom, I'm sure. He has enjoyed having his new toys and was saddened when we tossed most of his old ones (although he felt some relief knowing that some other child would be able to enjoy them in the future just as much as he has enjoyed them in the past). But, three plus weeks of nothing to stimulate his (and C's) growing mind (because I utterly failed in the education department during this long break) was ultimately too much for him.

So, it was with pure relief for all four of us that the kids went back to school today. I know it will be rough getting back in the groove of school for M (and a pure joy for little miss C), but it will be well worth every minute!

Finally... I get some much needed peace and quiet! Woo-Hoo!!!

It's A New Year Already?

2009-01-02T08:06:00.000-08:00

Wow has this year flown by. So much has happend that I am thankful for and so much has happened that I wish hadn't. But, as I sit here typing this post I bear in mind that each fall from dreamland gives us something new to learn from and something unique to look forward to. Whether it be a new life or a new car, getting rid of old things or saving old memories, or simply seeing out an old year and being able to rejoice in the new I try to remember that everything has it's purpose in my world.

These last several months have seen friends who have waited for years for their children are finally bringing their little ones home. And they've also seen friends hurt and devastated by the loss of children they had fallen in love with and hoped to adopt. Even Matt and I have experienced this type of loss this year, with the loss of a beautiful 4 year old little deaf boy whom we had applied to adopt from China. But, he was adopted within his own country and we are thrilled for him. He is such a doll and he deserves to have a beautiful life with people who will love him just as we would have.

We've also attempted to help our family grow through other methods. Adoption through foster care is finally back on our plate. We are more ready to take on that risk of heartbreak again.

Matt's father has slowly begun having contact with us again. this has been a huge surprise, but welcome. I'm sure it's been just as difficult for him as it has been for us. We can easily forgive, though it's often difficult to forget actions and words that have been done and said (by both sides). We sincerely hope we are all able to continue to work through these early days of a renewed relationship and are hopeful that, one day, we will be able to be closer. Although we have no clue where Matt's sisters or step-mother and the rest of their family stands on the issue of a renewed relationship, we are grateful that J has taken this huge first step in opening communication. If I had to pick the single greatest surprise of 2008, this moment would be it! Thankfully it was a pleasant surprise.

Speaking of Matt's father, this past year Little M has been interested in learning about his extended family (both biological and adoptive). He, in fact, now tells me that he's going to tell my mom, his Nana, when I do something he doesn't like. He often asks about Matt's family and doesn't quite understand why his daddy's daddy isn't known.

I completed writing two books this year. One is titled "Adopting An Angel" (the link is at the top of the homepage) while the other is entitled simply "Honu". Adopting An Angel has two versions. The first version (completed late 2007) is a private version that is a detailed account of C's journey into our world, while the public version (completed in 2008) is less personal with names of our guides and coordinators changed for privacy, though it contains all other non-personal details as the original. Honu, on the other hand, is a personal book written solely for our son and is mainly a photographic history of his first years. They were both such fun and worthy projects and I've decided to do one for each of my children in the future.

C has also grown by leaps and bounds. The progress she has made both in her education and her personal abilities (such as bonding/attachment abilities) has been tremendous. At the beginning of the year, when Matt returned from his one-year hardship tour in Korea, C was obnoxious, telling Matt to leave and she didn't like him, every day. But now she sleeps in his arms and cuddles out of the blue... It's such a precious sight to see! In addition, she has grown so much taller and has thinned out, lossing much of her baby-fat. Her hair is luxurious and lays all the way to the center of her back. She's so beautiful! I can't stop looking at her!!!

M, too, has grown emotionally (and physically). He's made such huge strides in school, though he'll still repeat 1st grade this upcoming school year (which will give us two 1st graders). He's better able to focus and is less angry and touchy with his peers. He's able to follow directions and complete tasks. I am so proud of him. In addition, he's grown so tall that, at just 6-1/2 years old, he stands at the top of my breasts (and I'm no slouch at 5' 7"). He's so skinny that I worry about his health, though I know he's perfectly fine. He's in 8 slim pants, though he's growing out of those so quickly we're going to have to buy him 9 slims before too long. He's a weed that I just can't control!!! And he, too, is so beautiful that I can't stop looking at him.

I love my kids and can hardly wait for next year when we can begin the process of adopting another child again.

2009 holds many trials for our family... Matt will deploy in March and the kids and I will be moving home to be with family for support. But, we'll be as strong and as willing to make this sacrifice as our many predecessors, for whom we are hugely grateful.

Wishing each and every one of you a Happy New Year, a peaceful resolution to all of your dillemmas and many huge thanks to all of our men and women in uniform and their families who, too, must sacrifice so much!

Just For You, SGM...

2008-12-29T14:46:00.000-08:00

These past three weeks have been horrendous for Matt's office. Between the weather and the Christmas Exodus that soldiers are treated to, work has been at a standstill (according to Matt). The kids and I have loved having Matt home so much, but I think his SGM would rather work a bit more. They're prepping to deploy and, if he's anything like Matt, the SGM is anxious to get the ball rolling. :)

Anyway, I'm directing this post to Matt's SGM because he, according to Matt, paid me a compliment that I just cannot ignore. Apparently Matt's SGM expressed his appreciation of my writing skills. I was very encouraged by the compliment and am thrilled to be able to give Matt's boss a detailed account of Matt's where abouts at any given time (SGM found a post stating that Matt went to work at 7:00am, which is normally utterly rediculous since their report time is 8:30. This made SGM question what I was reporting, but, after looking up the date, he found it to be accurate due to it being a deployment training day). lol...

As for the rest of our happenings:
Matt rented a storage unit nearby and we've (okay, so I meant to say that he's) started working on getting our things moved into it. Matt took down our indoor Christmas decorations and has already stored them. Then we (and yes, I actually helped) went through several boxes from the garage. We ended up giving 7 medium-large boxes to Goodwill. They were stuffed full of toys, crafts, clothes and miscellaneous items that we no longer wanted or needed. The idea is to downsize our rather large holdings in order to make future moves more efficient. Besides, there are not going to be too many places that will have a nice sized garage to allow us the space to store all of our junk in our future locations (especially if I get my way and we end up in Hawaii [or even Korea, which is another location I'd really like to live at some point]).

Little Mr. M suprised me this morning. He was playing his Nintendo DS; Brainage, which I bought for myself. I've learned it's quite a unique, fun and interesting way to help M (and C as soon as I teach her) keep up with his addition and subtraction as well as some of his reading. It's been a wonderful introduction to multiplication, too. This morning he ended up reading a portion that I thought he was totally incapable of deciphering by sounding out the words. This is a HUGE accomplishment for M because he has never quite understood how the "sound it out" process worked. He is able to say the sound of each individual letter but isn't able to sound things out fluidly to make the word more coherent. Well... He did just that this morning when he sounded out "blue", "black", "red" and "yellow". I'm so proud of him!

C is still doing marvelously. Her kindergarten teacher mailed a packet home to enable us to work with her on her "DIBELS" test (this is a test that checks how well the kids are learning their phonics). Sadly, it was a wasted envelope, paper, time and effort since she is unable/unqualified to take the DIBELS test. Due to being profoundly deaf she must learn to read via sight words and memorization, which she accomplishes with great skill. I can tell you that she is excessively excited about returning to school. She asks every day when she can get on the bus and go, and I just had to show her on the calendar exactly which day she would be returning. Hhhhmmmmm... Is it me she's tired of or the boredom of being home with Mom all the time?!? LOL!

M, on the other hand, is rather enjoying his newfound freedom. 3 weeks off of school will make anyone feel like they are on summer vacation, even with the snow piled in the backyard (although that's finally nearly gone). I know that's how I feel... And I, too, am ready for them to head back to the drudge of being educated! ;)

Well, things are progressing fast, now... Christmas is over, the decorations are down and we're packing to move. Valentine's day is just around the corner followed shortly by St. Patrick's day. So, it's not long now before we begin the new chapter of our lives.

Wishing you all a Happy New Year!!!

Happy Holidays

2008-12-27T09:21:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I posted, mainly because my parents arrived last Saturday and stayed until just this morning (Saturday, December 27th). We so enjoyed their visit, but between the weather and my latest girlie remedy we were stuck in the house for the most part.

The weather had been horrendous and we worried about Mom and Dad's travel last weekend. For the preceeding 5 days we had heard about how the "newest system" would "arrive on Sunday". But on Friday afternoon the meteorologist moved the timeframe up to Saturday. Mom and Dad had initially intended on meandering up on Sunday and arriving on Monday, but changed the date to Saturday with the hope of beating the Sunday storm. I phoned as soon as I heard the new forecast, but Mom and Dad were celebrating Christmas with my sister and her family that day so were too distracted to comprehend what I was trying to tell them. So, up they drove on Saturday, hitting the major part of the storm just 20 miles south of Portland.

It took my parents 5-1/2 hours to drive what normally takes 2-1/2 hours because of the massive amounts of snow and ice just swamping the roadways. Wow!!! Needless to say, they were exhausted after their extremely long day. They had woke up around 4:30am, left the house around 5:00am, stopped at my aunts house in Longview for about 40 minutes and arrived here around 10:30pm... What a day!

The kids were just thrilled to see Nana and Papa! They were completely surprised when they came downstairs and found Nana relaxing on the couch. C shadowed Nana for the entire week! My mom, of course, loved every minute of it.

Then came the day for Santa to show up... I kept signing to C that Santa would visit that night and would bring toys. Every time I told her she would get excited all over again. We forgot to have the kids leave out the cookies and milk, but Daddy did it for them. They didn't even notice when they woke up. Oh well. Too busy checking out their gifts, I guess! lol.

M and C had a blast opening their Christmas gifts. Even mom enjoyed herself. She got a new laptop, which my dad had shipped to our house (he gave me a secret code phrase so that I would know when to bring it out, but I forgot and made up my own: "The purple whale spout green algae in the gray grass..." lol). M and C have not put down their new Nintendo DS games (they each got their own). But Mom and I stole them as soon as the kids put them down so we could play "Brainage", which I bought for myself. Hmmm... I may not get any work done around the house... I'm having too much fun with it!

The weather remainded cold and blustery during Mom's and Dad's entire visit this week. But, I think everyone enjoyed the awesome white Christmas. It was a very nice and unique treat for the Seattle area and us!

So, I hope everyone had a beautiful Christmas and will have an awesome New Year. And I sincerely hope the coming year is a peaceful and happy one for all.

Winter Weather Photos

2008-12-17T13:24:00.001-08:00

We've been enjoying some beautiful winter weather. Here are some photos and a video... Enjoy!

The Charlie Schultz Philosophy

2008-12-14T08:04:00.000-08:00

I received this as an email from my uncle. I enjoyed it... Hope you will, too!

The Charlie Schulz Philosophy
(This is marvelous! Scroll thru slowly and read carefully to receive and enjoy full effect)

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip.

You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them.
Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4 Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.
These are no second-rate achievers.
They are the best in their fields.
But the applause dies..
Awards tarnish.
Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special!!
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson:
The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials..
the most money...or the most awards.
They simply are the ones who care the most

Pass this on to those people who have made a difference in your life, like I did.
'Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia !'

''Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!"

I'm So Proud

2008-12-12T20:39:00.000-08:00

M came home from school today with a special note from his Art Teacher. I was excessively proud of him!!! It just put his accomplishments into perspective.

The note (although not verbatim) expressed the teacher's pride M and how well he is paying attention. She states that she has noticed a huge difference in M during these past few weeks in both his behavior and his work. She also said how much of a joy he has been and how thrilled she is that she has been able to be a witness to this magnificent change!

What makes this incident even more spectacular is that this particular teacher was not informed of M's ADHD diagnosis and subsequent medication. To me, this makes it far more clear that the medication is actually helping M in ways that are both profound and highly appreciated.

Oh Crap!!!

2008-12-07T11:35:00.000-08:00

Have you ever done something that was utterly stupid? Well, I did...

Last night, after I put M and C to bed, I went into my bedroom to check my email. In walks M and, passing me by without uttering a single word, walked straight into my bathroom.

"Son, what are you doing?"

"I forgot something, Mommy," M replied softly.

"What did you forget?" I questioned.

"I forgot wash my face."

Ah. The poor guy has horrible skin that seems to be filled with little white heads. He's going to have acne problems as a teenager, I just know it. So, I went on blissfully typing away, letting M do his nightly ritual of cleaning his face, though generally he does it in the downstairs bathroom. That is, until I heard...

"AH!!! Mom, come quick... SANTA CAME ALREADY!!!"

Oh Crap! I forgot I had put all the Santa gifts in my bathroom closet... It's the one place the kids rarely, if ever, get into. DAMN!!! So, of course, I had to go in and play it really cool...

"WOW, Son... Check that out. That's pretty cool. You know, sometimes Santa gets super busy and needs to drop off presents early. He must have left those for Mom to put out later."

"Yeah, can we open them now?"

"No, Buddy. And if you try to open them, then Santa will know about it and might come take them back. We don't want that to happen, now do we?"

Right about this time there is a scream and a definite, "NO!!!"

"Okay, then... Stay out of Mommy's closet, cuz Santa will know if you get into it."

"Yeah, cuz Santa knows everything!!!"

"That's right... Santa knows everything, so stay out of my closet, okay?!?"

So here I sit, telling you all about my terrible error, hoping the entire time that M doesn't show his sister and that he actually follows the directions to stay out of my closet. There are still several things that aren't wrapped, though, thankfully, those were in non-transparent plastic bags. Being the weekend, both kids are still at home so I haven't had an opportunity to move them, yet. I'll be sure to get that done tomorrow. Needless to say, I feel like a complete idot because I should have understood that M was going to get into my bathroom closet to find a washcloth to use on his face. Well, lesson learned!

Hugs to all... And to all a good night! Merry Christmas!

Some People

2008-12-05T21:45:00.000-08:00

Matt and I woke up around 6:00 this morning and had a few minutes alone. It was nice to have some peace and quiet with him so early in the day. We chatted about nothing in particular, but just knowing that we had a few minutes to ourselves was great.

Then, the kids got up and the hectic morning began. Both kids were dressed, had eaten breakfast, gotten their teeth brushed, went potty, had their medications and were ready to get on the bus by 7:25. Matt had left for work by 7:00 and I was relishing the moment of peace I would have once both kids were out the door for school. That is, until I checked my calendar and realized C had a doctor's appointment this morning.

So, I held her back from the bus. And, with tears streaming down her face, she watched Matthew head to school. Poor C was simply crushed! But, she got to go with me this morning to have some blood drawn. She was very empathetic, I can tell you. All the ladies in the lab were watching her reactions rather than dealing with their patients. It was cute!

As we were leaving, though, I had to listen to a man berate and belittle his wife for leaving the area in which he had placed her. He called her stupid and told her (in a ver obnoxious and rude manner) that she was told to wait where he put her. And every time she tried to tell him sorry, he'd tell her how stupid she had been to leave. It got so nasty that I actually turned around and glared at them, not that "Dan" noticed (and, yes, that is his real name... At least, that's what the wife called him). I wanted to knock that man flat on his face! I couldn't believe he was talking to his wife like that in public. I could only imagine what he did to her in the privacy of their own home. Scary. But what was really scary was the thought that they might have had children who were witness to this treatment. Thank God my daughter is deaf because I would not have wanted her to hear this abusive man. I actually pushed C to the side of the hall so that we didn't have to walk near this couple anymore. I was seriously afraid that that man was going to haul off and hit his wife. It reminded me clearly of someone else I know (and I'm not talking about my beloved hubby, just in case anyone was wondering. My guy is an amazingly patient man with me. I have a temper from Hades and Matt is my calming entity).

In any case, my day ended on a fabulous note: Mr. M came home from school with a "CONGRATULATIONS, You passed Chapter 11" note from his reading teacher!!! We were thrilled because it has been several months since he's brought home a passing grade from his reading class! It was fabulous. Plus, M has earned another day at Chuck E Cheese!

Also, I've gotten some great advice regarding M's sleeping pattern due to the Adderall XR... Thank you so much for the thoughts. M has been sleeping much better these last few days and I think he's finally getting used to the meds. Hopefully this pattern will continue and we won't need additional help through further medications. But, I've saved all the emails I've received (and will continue to save them) for future reference... You never know when you need the advice, which is always helpful! ;) Thank you!!!

November Kid Photos

2008-12-02T22:27:00.000-08:00

Since I finally downloaded the photos off my camera I thought I would take a moment to share some of the pictures we took this past month, although they were pretty much all taken on the same day... November 7th for their school pictures. Both kiddos took adorable photos (I'm not pasting them here since they are copyrighted). C ended up falling down and tearing up her panyhose and her fanny while M was sent home with a step 4, yet again. In all actuality, though, he wasn't nearly as poorly behaved as pervious incidents. In this case he and another little boy were running in the cafeteria (a big no-no). When the other little boy saw the teacher he stopped running and turned around to tell M to stop running, also. He ended up putting his hand into M's chest. M thought he was being attacked so turned around and slugged this other child in the head giving him a nice egged sized knot on his temple. M sucker-punched this other kid! Ugh... But, at least both M and C had their photos taken prior to either of their incidents!!! Here's what they looked like before school:

M's Self Portrait:

Christmas Lights

2008-12-02T22:20:00.000-08:00

Here are just a few photos of our Christmas decorating and lights, though the photos don't do it justice...

Shopping! Shopping! Shopping!

2008-12-02T15:24:00.000-08:00

Matt is still on leave from Thanksgiving but our lovely children had to go back to school yesterday. Our trip to California was fabulous (as I stated in my previous post) but wearing on their little minds and bodies. Hopefully they can continue to recover from our vacation. C had a pretty decent day at school, but she crashed the moment her little head lay down on her pillow last night. I know she was exhausted because she pottied the bed sometime between her midnight potty run and waking up for school at 6:30 this morning. This is a rarity anymore. And poor M had a bit of a difficult day at school yesterday. He did fairly well with his behavior but got a step 1 for "shubbing" (shoving) while he was trying to find a book to read. The long break and then the sudden return to the school routine has always been a trial. To make matters worse, we didn't give him his ADHD medication for more than a week. So, last night was a trial, too, since he has to get back into the routine of learning how to fall asleep with the medication (since it seems to delay his sleep by hours). Hopefully tonight he will fall asleep well before midnight. Last night he fell asleep well after midnight! Yikes!!!

Anyway, since Matt was still off of work and the kids were at school we decided to do the last bit of our Christmas shopping... I think it went very well! We got it all done today, so I can't ask for more!

A few of the things we picked up were:
Storm Trooper voice changing helmet
Easy Bake Oven
Drawing Station that actually prints the pictures the kids draw
3 Jammies for each of the kids
A brush and hair bows for C
Starwars action figures for M

The list goes on but they were smaller things that we can easily take with us when we move into my parents' guest house. Matt and I had loads of fun shopping for the kids. The best thing is that we had a list of things that we wanted to get for them and we actually stuck to it rather than window shopped. Honestly, we only bought the kids each 1 additional item that we did not initially have on our list. And, each of the kids only got 5 main gifts (not including their jammies) and several smaller stocking stuffer type gifts (including the action figures and hair accessories). I'm so proud of myself for not going overboard!!! ;)

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2008-11-30T18:12:00.000-08:00

This past week was very fun (and tiring) for us. We went to California to visit my parents for the holiday. Just as importantly, we also inventoried and improved the guesthouse that the kids and I will be living in while Matt is deployed next year. Here are a few of the things Matt (and Pop) did to help make our stay more comfortable:
* Installed a new gas heater (it looks like a fireplace... And it looks fabulous)
* Installed a screen door (to help ventilate the house during those horrendously hot summer months)
* Replaced the screens on most of the windows
* Set up the kids' bunk bed
* Brought down my grandfather's daybed and trundle for my use in the living room (it will double as our couch)
* Removed the full sized bed that was being stored there for a family friend so the kids and I would have more room
* Helped me clean the space and organize the house a bit
I fully admit that they did a fabulous job on the entire project! The only things left for me to do when I return next March is to replace one of the steps that have rotted out (so the kids and I don't slip and fall) and clean and organize just a tad more. Dad said he will face the fireplace surround (which didn't get completed while we were home due to a time constraint). Matt helped Pop install the heater, which was Pop's domain, but otherwise completed many of the projects on his own.

Thansgiving day was wonderful, although M was sick for the first few days we were down there (as usual; he seems to get sick every time we go there, poor guy). The only ones missing were my brother and his family and my grandmother. Otherwise it, too, was fabulous. My mom had most of the food prepared before we arrived, which left much of the time open for me to help clean, organize and inventory the guest house (a blessing, for sure). The guestlist comprised of Grandpa, Nonno and his girlfriend, Barbara, Mom and Pop, my sister, her fiance and their 3 children along with her sister-in-law, and me, Matt and our 2 kiddos. Dinner included (as my niece and nephew say) my mom's "World Famous Noodles" (homemade egg noodles), turkey and ham that my dad b-b-q'ed, olives (that my dad grew, cooked and marinated himself... Oh they are yummy) and an assortment of other goodies for condiments, mashed potatoes, stuffing, homemade rolls, and an amazing green bean dish that was laced with sliced almonds. There was too much food placed on the table along with desert for me to remember each and every dish. Needless to say... Our Thanksgiving was spectacular and was especially nice since it will be Matt's last before he returns from his deployment in 2010.

We drove home on Saturday morning. We enjoyed a farewell breakfast at our local restaraunt at 8:30 and were headed north by 9:30. It was a later start than we had hoped for, but it was worth the extra time spent there. Our drive was quiet and took only 13 hours and included all our gas, food, and bathroom stops. I didn't drive much (just 3 or 4 hours at the most) and ended up falling asleep around 8:00. I did wake up again around 9:00 but was way too groggy to help Matt drive those last 2 1/2 hours. I did talk to him every once in a while, though! lol!!!

This morning found me up around 5:30 with M following me down an hour later. Poor Matt woke up just after C did around 7:30-8:00. I didn't have anything in the house for breakfast, so off to McD's Matt went.

After breakfast we sent the kids upstairs to play and watch TV so Matt and I could get our house reorganized and prepared for our Christmas decorations. We even had enough time to pull the Christmas stuff out and set most of it up. We'll finish things up tomorrow and will get pictures posted!!! Can't wait to show everything off, cuz it looks great (even if I do say so myself). We actually had our neighbors all out at one time or another just to see our progress throughout the day... It was fun!

Hope you all had as wonderful a week as we had... HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

What a day for my gang!!!!

2008-11-18T11:05:00.000-08:00

It's just after 11:00am and I've had the greatest day already!

C actually slept ALL night. She fell asleep around 6:30 last night and didn't wake up until 6:30 this morning... What a relief after the last few weeks of sleeplessness. The poor thing was so tired that when Matt woke her up and sent her to bed she was actually sleep walking. We figured this out because she stumbled on the stairs on her way up and as I bent over to help her get up I noticed her eyes were closed... Plus, she was snoring! My poor angel has had such a hard time sleeping lately, so she really needed this.

Then, to top off my day, I just received an email from M's reading teacher about his performance in her class this morning. Since M was diagnosed with ADHD in late August I've been adamant about not medicating him. But, the drastic improvements in M's self confidence and school performance has proved that medication may not be all bad. In fact, in M's case it has become a miracle drug. M's nearly daily pronouncement is, "Mommy... I was a good boy. I focussed today!" In addition to all the positives that have been happening at school with his work he is also having better communication with friends both at school and at home. What a miracle this medication has been for M!!!

The email I received from M's reading teacher: "Just an FYI....M Rocks! He did a great job of staying on task, reading aloud, and working on his decoding pages! This was a truly great day!"

Update: At 1:10 this afternoon I got a call from M's Reading Para (Teacher's Assistant)/ELL Teacher. She initially called to let me know that the school may have placed M in the ELL class (English Language Learner Class) unofficially. I kind of thought that was the case, but really wanted to give him every opportunity to learn to speak more fluently so we agreed to allow him in the class. But, the teacher called to let me know that this may be an unauthorized placement, which means he would have to be removed. But, while she was on the phone, she told me how impressed she was with M's recent improvements. She was just stunned at M's reading ability today. In fact, she thought that M had been getting extra help at home... That's how well he did today. I had to tell her that though M does get extra reading and math help at home, he hasn't gotten any more than usual. I think the medication is finally helping M to concentrate and focuss enough to learn!!! More importantly, I think M will be getting a special treat today for doing so well... If he did well enough that two seperate teachers contacted me with his impressive improvement then he definitely deserves a treat (and C will get one for sleeping so well, too)!!!

Buying New Books Soon?

2008-11-18T06:32:00.000-08:00

Barnes and Noble Bookstores are making donations to Families with
Children from China.

For all purchases at Barnes and Noble on Sunday, December 7, at any or
their stores nationwide, a percentage of all sales will go to FCC
(Families with Children from China). This organization does a lot of
wonderful work for the children of China and the orphanages are a huge
part of their work.

Please mention code 428490 when you make a purchase on Sunday, December
7 at any Barnes and Noble Bookstore. This does NOT apply to on line
orders but DOES apply to orders made over the phone and mailed to you.

Thank you!

Beth _____________
Board of Directors
FCC

Chuck E Cheese...

2008-11-16T10:36:00.000-08:00

Here's the deal we made with M:

Each day M draws happy faces on the white board representing all the positive feedback he got from his teachers for the day. The goal is to show him that positive behaviors get rewards in the hopes that it will encourage him to have better days at school.

At the end of each week we tally up all the happy faces. If M received 10 - 19 happy faces then he gets to go with Daddy to get an ice cream cone! If he gets 20 (average is 4/day) or more happy faces then he gets treated to Chuck E Cheese's!!! Since starting this idea more than a month ago, M has gotten to have ice cream twice now, but he had not achieved the ultimate goal of Chuck E Cheese's.

This week was a touch different because it was parent/teacher conference week so Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he only attended school from 8:00 to 11:30. Plus, there was no school on Tuesday in recognition of Veterans' Day. So, we didn't make him achieve 20. Rather, we asked him to get 14 happy faces (which would have equated to 24 for a regular week; this seemed to be a nearly impossible request considering he had yet to meet the standard to go to Chuck E Cheese).

M actually got 5 happy faces on Monday, 4 on Wednesday, 4 on Thursday and 4 on Friday!!! He performed so well this week that he surpassed what we asked him to do by 3 happy faces!

So, off we went to Chuck E Cheese... And boy did we all have fun. We actually allowed both kids to meander around by themselves; we chose a table with a view of the entire place so we could keep an eye on them, of course, but they got to feel like big kids. M especially deserved the treat and was allowed to enjoy himself to the extreme!!! What a reward!!! I hope he can do it again!!! (Above are the front and back of the cards M and C each made while we were there.)

WOW, M... GREAT JOB!!!

2008-11-04T00:08:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share the email that M's reading teacher sent to me this evening. I couldn't have been more thrilled!!!

"M had a good day in reading today...another boy cut in front of him in line at the end of class...he just said to him hay you cut me....no screaming no yelling....it was a big change for him. GO M!"

What A Weekend...

2008-11-03T23:51:00.000-08:00

We had our weekend planned to the hilt. On Saturday we intended on visiting Aunt D down south (an hour and a half away). We haven't seen them in nearly 3 months and since we live so close that is just unacceptable. Then Sunday we planned on going to IKEA (Thanks K for showing me that store... We're in trouble now). I had found a day bed that is the perfect addition and meets each and every one of our current and future needs. Unfortunately, the weekend didn't quite go as planned:

Saturday we packed the kids into the van and were just pulling out of the driveway when Matt's SGM phone needing some assistance for another soldier, which happens to be a vital part of Matt's job. So we unpacked the kids and off Matt went to assist the soldier in his emergency. By the time Matt arrived home it was far too late to head down south, so we stayed home and took down the Halloween decorations (thanks so much Ma).

Sunday we reloaded up the kids and headed north to go to IKEA. We only needed that one item, but one must walk the entire store to get to the checkout (or even find what you are looking for). There really are no short-cuts, which is a great way to encourage people to buy more during those impulse but moments. Unfortunately, they were still out of the day bed that I want. This actually was a blessing in disguise because I can order it online and have it shipped directly to my parents house (that will be our couch and my bed while we're living there during Matt's deployment; then it will become C's bed and a guest bed since it can expand to a king-sized element).

Since we rushed through IKEA and were finished with it with ample time to have a decent visit with everyone at Aunt D's house we decided to take the long drive down. We made it about an hour from our house when the van started acting funny. It was kind of scary because neither Matt nor I knew what was what. Thankfully, we were just coming up on an exit, so we pulled off the road. Matt put the van in park and revved the engine a bit. The van sounded and felt perfectly normal. But, just in case, we decided to head home. Matt put the van into drive and began pulling out onto the road. Sadly, the van didn't want to cooperate... It refused to leave 1st gear. So, we puttered across the overpass to the 76 station and called our insurance company for help and called Aunt D to let her know what we were doing.

We waited about an hour for a tow truck and Aunt D pulled in just before he arrived to take us to the car rental place. The gentleman who owned the rental shop was an angel. His was the only rental agency in the entire area and he was closed on Sundays. But he answered his phone and agreed to help out a soldier in need... I cannoth thank him enough!!!

Our van was towed to the local Mazda dealership. The poor specialist worked on it all day and is completely stumped as to what is causing the problem (or even what the problem seems to be). Hopefully we'll find out more tomorrow.

We truly thought our weekend was bad, but our friend's weekend was even worse... He has experienced identity theft... It can happen to all of us, so be careful!!!

Halloween Horrors

2008-11-01T10:53:00.000-07:00

Poor M has been dealing with what seems to be an asthma attack that started late Tuesday evening. On Wednesday his asthma flared up dramatically and we've been fighting it like crazy cakes since then. He's finally getting better (I can tell a huge difference today). We didn't allow M to go outside and play since Tuesday so that we could get him over this attack swifter in the hopes of having a good night for Halloween. He still wasn't remotely up to par but was able to breathe enough to walk door to door.

Matt and I conned one of the "single soldiers" (a married Sergeant Major whose family is still residing at his previous duty station) to come to our house to pass out candy while Matt and I took the kids out trick-or-treating. His payment was a homecooked meal!

M dressed up as Obe-won-kanobe (sorry about the spelling) while C dressed up as a little witch. I had fun helping her get ready because she let me put make-up on her... She looked great and the first family we passed let us know that she looked pretty awesome!

The kids walked for four blocks during which time their baskets became about 1/2 filled. On post there are specific times that you may go out trick-or-treating: 6:00 - 8:00. We didn't even come close to utilizing that entire time! The kids had fun for about an hour. C started getting worn out and was ready to go home just 45 minutes after we left the house; in fact, Daddy had to carry her nearly the entire return trip. She began the journey with GREAT excitement (though not nearly as much as M). I think she used all of her energy too early in the night.

What A Day

2008-10-29T16:10:00.001-07:00

This week has been interesting (to say the least). I feel like I've been running around blindfolded and bumping into every obstacle.

Monday I had to see a geneticist who told me that I am a Cystic Fibrosis carrier. 1 in every 25 caucasians of European decent are carriers of this desease. That took all of 3 minutes for him to tell me that as a carrier I am not effected at all by the disease. Wow! I could have gone the rest of my life without wasting that 3 minutes of my day! Then, around 11:00, I received a phone call from the school secretary asking me to come take care of M... He got a step 4 in the lunch line because he hit a child who was standing too close to him. Then, he called the lunch room teacher a "Liar" when she called him on it (she had watched him do it). So, I had to meet the teacher and took M home for a bit of homeschooling, which is something he dislikes, as punishment.

Tuesday I had an appointment with M's behavioral therapist at 8:00 in the morning and a meeting with C's principal to address some issues with her deaf/HoH teacher. Matt and I had stayed up talking until nearly midnight the previous night about both M's appointment with this particular physician and C's school possibilities. The therapist doesn't work with M. Rather, she sees Matt and I to "tweak" our parenting skills. In fact, she has claimed on more than one visit that she doesn't know why we're seeing her because we're doing everything right. In regards to C's teacher... She had sent home notes about my daughter that I didn't appreciate 3 days in a row. She was critiquing my ability to send C to school with a full battery for her Cochlear Processor (an insult to any responsible mother) and claimed that C was having behavior problems associated with the inoperable state of her processor. A complete fabrication, even if I do say so myself. The teacher and the entire deaf/HoH team and I utterly disagree on what is an appopriate learning situation for C, which, in turn, causes us to be sensitive towards each other and what each has to say.

Here's what actually happened: Matt went to the behavioral health therapist and told her our opinion. He explained that we only really wanted a confirmed diagnosis for M so that he can get the additional help from school that he would qualify for. She totally understood and was utterly appreciative that we were considerate enough to keep our appointment and tell her in person of our viewpoint (I, in fact, came across her today and she was super sweet). We then cancelled our appointment with the principal and said we'd work it out with the teacher first. If things escalate then we'll go through the pricinipal. I just got tired of this woman being so adamant about how I should raise my deaf daughter (just because she is a deaf woman herself) that I wanted to take action. Sadly, the day got worse!!! M's reading teacher called me and asked if I would come sit with M. He, apparently, decided not to do his school work. He had done the same thing on Monday, too. But, she simply had to do something to ensure his work got done. So, off I rushed to the school (after calling Matt to get the van) to sit with M. He DID NOT like this treatment and I can only hope that he has learned a valuable lesson. I can tell you that I did not make this pleasant. Upon arriving home I found I had received a call from M's Developmental Pediatrician, whom I was supposed to call at 9:30 but didn't have an opportunity because of my time spent at the school. I called her back and we discussed Matt's conversation with the behavioral therapist and our desire to get M the help he needed, even if it meant putting him on ADHD meds (that's the official diagnosis).

Once the kids arrived home from school we went to the pharmacy (on post the wait is usually an hour to an hour and a half). We arrived around 3:45 and left around 4:45. I had some coloring/activity books and crayons along with some playdough and snacks and juice. The kids (both of them) actually sat quietly for then entire time!!! I was so PROUD of them... It was a difficult task for any child and excessively so for M! What a trooper! They did so well we treated them to dinner and an extra desert. We picked up M's ADHD medicine (10mg of Adderall XR) and gathered the instructions for things to watch for (positive and negative) to be implimented the following moring.

Wednesday has been just as busy. I started my day with explaining to M about his medication before shipping him off to school. C and I took Matt to work before coming home to get ready for her Developmental Pediatrician visit. In our visit I explained the new school situation. To say that the two doctors who were seeing C today were not pleased at her situation is a severe understatement. In fact, they've determined that if we cannot get C into her old school with like-hearing peers that they wanted to get her seen by a signing therapist so she can learn to express herself. They are VERY anxious about C's social skills and mental health because of this placement. They strongly feel she is being isolated at a stage when she really needs to further her communication skills and can truly benefit from socializing with other deaf children. They were especially adamant about this when they learned that she cannot even recognize the sound of her own name using the Cochlear Implant. Plus, poor C had to have her final Hep B shot. Her previous series she got in China did not "take", according to her Titers, so we had to start over again with this. Then, while we were there, they gave her the nasal flu vaccine. Needless to say, I kept her home today.

After today's visit I'm feeling frustrated again... I can't provide transportation for C and the school refuses since they already have a program in our own school, but if I can arrange transportation for the old school then M will have to move schools, too, just when we're getting to a point that he NEEDS to stay where he is to verify how the new medication is effecting him. Not fun at all!

Here's what M's teachers said about M's behavior today:
Home Room:
"Hello!He had a pretty good day today.He had a little bit of a hard time getting settled at the school wideassembly.But, that was quickly resolved and we moved on."

Reading Teacher:
"His behavior and academic performance was not as good as it has been but better than the last two days... he seemed "sullen" sad and mad at the same time. He did what we asked but not with real effort or excitement. Mrs. ____ gave him compliments on his word cards, I thought I almost seen a smile but it was fleeting. May be the review this week will help. Full week of reading next week! Thank you for coming in. I really appreciate it!"

In Loving Memory

2008-10-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

In Loving Memory of:
Nonni
Grandma
Big Nonni
Aunt Donna
Uncle Bud
Uncle Jim
Grandpa C
Grandpa M
And the list just keeps on going! You are loved and missed so dearly! We'll see you again in the future.

And for my family and friends who have been touched by cancer but have survived... You are an inspiration! May you always win this fight:
Aunt Sher
Susan
Kim-Berly
And so many others!

All you are asked to do is keep this circulating, even if it's to one more person.
In memory of anyone you know that has been struck by cancer.

A Candle Loses Nothing By Lighting Another Candle.

Please Keep These Candles Going!

New Clothes... Finally

2008-10-26T20:10:00.000-07:00

After 6 years of having children I got to go out and buy some clothes that were NOT for C or M. Well, that's only partially true...

Today, we were planning on taking a drive down to Aunt D and Uncle C's house in south-western Washington. It can be nearly a 2 hour trip, depending on weather. But, I started my girl days on Friday and found myself in a bit of pain. Apparently, the polyps that the doctor removed back in September finally decided to dislodge themselves. This excretion process is quite painful. Like my cycles weren't painful enough... I now have to deal with even further pain. Apparently, in a few months I should be loving life with far less pain. If this doesn't work we'll be aiming at a hystorectomy... Wonder if I can talk the doc into that in a year or two?!? Hmmm... Worth thinkin' 'bout! ;)

Anyway, this afternoon I finally started feeling the pain go away. I began waking up at around 2:00, so we decided to take a quick run to the store (fighting the pain was wearing me out enough that I practically slept the weekend away). I needed to buy Halloween Candy (I'm a stickler for buy and giving out candy if my kids are trick-or-treating) and M and C needed some new jeans.

I purchased 3 pairs of 7 slim pants and 2 pairs of 8 slim pants for M and little "tight" outfits for C (the kind with long dress-like shorts with matching tights underneath) in lieu of jeans. M had 2 pairs of 7 slim pants from late last year and C had several jeans that still fit (though quite snuggly). So, we went to Ross and found a great deal on jeans for both the kids. I ended up buying C 3 pairs of designer jeans for $9.00 each while M got 3 pairs of desiner jeans for $10.00 each. He got 2 more pairs from Target for $10.00 each, also. It was a fabulous find because it is always so difficult to find slim sized pants at all, never-the-less at Ross. M is simply too tall... He's lanky, super skinny and long legged like a little colt (knobby knees and all). Hopefully these pants will last both the kids through spring!!!

So, how can I get away with saying I bought clothes other than for the kids? Easy... Ross was having a decent clearance section where I was able to buy my nephews so great clothes!!! Plus, I bought myself 3 new bras! I have 1 bra that is comfy and I pull the wash and wear every day routine with it. My other 3 bras are awkward and mostly uncomfortable. We'll see how well these new bras work. I don't care what a bra looks like as long as it is confortable and holds up my girl parts! ;)

Needless to say, I was thrilled with my finds but was totally worn out by the time we got back to the van. I should have waited to do my shopping until I felt better... Like on Wednesday.

2008-10-25T18:22:00.000-07:00

I found my dream kitchen. It's by IKEA and I saw it while we were visiting the IKEA store in Seattle when my friend from Texas was visiting earlier this month. These pictures don't show it's true beauty by any means, but at least you'll have an idea. For those of you who have seen my kitchen in my house in Kansas you'll know just how beautiful this design could look. It's somewhat country with lots of elegance! The backsplash emulates pounded tin (it's actually a plastic of some kind). I think the backsplash in this kitchen could look great if it were done with black chalkboard paint. The the top/tall cabinets are white, some are glass fronted while others are fronted with wainscoating. The lower/base cabinets are a dark stained wood. There is a breakfast island in the center of the layout with some open storage underneath. The sink is a country sink with a fabulous country faucet that reminds me of a hose. It's so cool and this kitchen is unbeatable!

The Bucket List

2008-10-22T10:28:00.000-07:00

THE BUCKET LIST

( ) Gone on a blind date
(X) Skipped school
(X) Watched someone die
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been to Florida
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost
(X) Been on the opposite side of the country
(X) Gone to Washington , DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robber
(X) Recently colored with crayons
( ) Sang Karaoke
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only?
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
(X) Made prank phone calls (Does that count to family/friends? Then Yes.)
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose or peed your pants
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
( ) Been skinny dipping outdoors
(X) Gone to the movies

1. Any nickname?
yes

2. Mother's name?
Mom

3. Favorite drink?
Anything with Chocolate

4. Body Piercings?
My ears and belly-button

5. How much do you love your job?
I adore my job... I get to be a mom!!!

6. Birthplace?
California

7. Favorite vacation spot?
My family's traditional annual camping trip to the Northern California Coast.

8. Ever been to Africa?
No, but I sincerely hope to get there some day (we hope to adopt from Ethiopia)!

9. Ever eaten just cookies for dinner?
Probably

10. Ever been on TV?
Yes; Matt and I were in a commercial at Ft. Eustis. I sucked but Matt was great.

11. Ever steal any traffic signs??
No

12. Ever been in a car accident?
Yes

13. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle?
Both at some point in my driving career.

14. Can you drive a standard car?
Yes... My parents required us to learn on a stick shift. My dad's philosophy is if you can drive a stick you can drive anything... And it turned out to be very true since I've also driven an 18-wheeler.

15. Favorite pie?
What isn't?

16. Favorite number?
Seven

17. Favorite movie?
Sense and Sensibility

18. Favorite holiday?
Christmas

19. Favorite dessert?
Do I have to pick just one?!?

20. Favorite food?
Pasta, especially spaghetti

21. Favorite day of the week?
Friday... Because that's the last day of work and school so I can have my family all together for the weekend!

22. Favorite brand of body wash?
Lever 2000

23. Favorite toothpaste ?
Aquafresh Extreme Clean

24. Favorite smell?
Johnson and Johnson Baby Shampoo

25. How do you relax?
Sitting in my parents front yard with a glass of wine or a bottle of beer and being able to chill with them.

26. How do you see yourself in 10 years?
As the mother of numerous healthy, happy and well adjusted children (grandchildren to follow) and the wife of an awesome (and hopefully retired) soldier!

27. Furthest place you will send this message?
Around The World!

28. What is your favorite breed of dog?
German Shephards (but I also like Dobermans, Giant Schnauzers, American Mastiffs and Labs)

29. Favorite sound?
My children's laughter

Sylvan Learning Center Update

2008-10-16T11:35:00.000-07:00

I met with the teacher at Sylvan Learning Center to review the results of M's evaluation. It will take approximately 194 hours to bring M up to speed (just for reading). The program will run us nearly $10,000!!! I utterly wish I could afford that because he deserves a break in his little life... He deserves more than what he has been given! I feel so helpless!!!

So, after taking a deep breath we have decided to impliment some strategies at home to help him learn to read better. At the end of last year of kindergarten we had withdrawn M and began homeschooling him. We utilized the k12 program (an awesome program that is perfect for inexperienced home educators like myself). Even though M had attended a regular kindergarten through last February k12 required him to start over. So, we got many wonderful supplies to help educate M, about 1/2 of which we did not have to return. One of the things we were able to keep was the Phonics workbook and teacher's book. So, we're going to pull that back out and use it to give M extra education on Saturdays and Sundays.

Wish us and M lots luck!

Having Fun

2008-10-14T19:49:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was a blast. We hosted a long time friend for a few days. She flew in from Texas and brought the kids each a ton of stuff (she spoils them rotten). The kids, Matt and I all enjoyed having her. We went to Mt. St. Helens and saw it smoking and then we went to Seattle to check out Pike's Market. While we were there we took the short cruise around Puget Sound. That was really nice. We saw some California Sea Lions while we were out cruising along with a few jelly fish. They were huge! I was the only one interested in the jelly fish while everyone else were checking out the Sea Lions, which were pretty cool, too. I thought I saw a few whales surfacing, but since I was the only one seeing these few surfaces I must have been imagining things (though there are a pod of Orcas in the vacinity as well as Humbacks that have swum up the canal and reached Tacoma, two arrived and departed just two months ago, so it's not impossible). "K" brought the kids a lot of things from Tombstone, Arizona as well as Texas. Pictured here are M and C wearing their authentic cowboy attire from Tombstone (we'll have to have professional pics done, too).

To My Biological Mom...

2008-10-09T18:14:00.000-07:00

This evening a dear, and long time, friend is flying in from Texas. So I set the kids to drawing a life-sized picture of themselves. The kids lay down on the long sheet of paper that was given to me by my beloved family (you know who you are... Thanks) and I traced them. The kids then began coloring themselves and adding their features. Somewhere along the way M got sidetracked. He cut out a tiny 2" by 2" slip of paper from his drawing and drew a stick figure carrying another stick figure with a circle wrapped around the smaller of the two. He walked up to me, reverently carrying his drawing.

M asked, "Mom, how you write 'Dear Mom, I miss you'?"

"What for, Son," I asked?

"How you write it? I want to write it for my mom." Showing me his paper I finally figured out what he had done and wanted to do...

M had drawn a picture of his biological mother holding him as an infant, wrapped in a blanket. He had made this picture just for her. Nearly in tears, I walked him through the sentence. When we were done, he asked me to write the following:

"To: Biological Mom
From: M____
remember (he meant that he hopes she remembers him and holding him)"
10-10-08 (though he didn't request it, I wrote the date)

Once we were finished he picked up the paper and made a beeline for the front door. When I asked him where he was headed he firmly told me, "To send off my letter."

I asked, "You mean you want to send it in the air so the wind takes it to your biological mom?"

"Yes!" he emphatically affirmed.

"Son, why don't you let Mommy do that for you. You can stay inside and finish coloring your picture for Aunt Kim-Berly and Uncle Tracy."

Thankfully he allowed me to do this. Unfortunately, as soon as I finished sending it off in the wind (a.k.a. sticking it into my back pocket) he freaked out and begged for it back. This made me a bit concerned, but I swiftly took it out of my pocket and handed it to him, claiming that it had only gone as far as our neighbor's house. He had decided to wait until he was 18 to give it to her.

Throughout the past 3 years or so (since beginning the adoption process for C) M has been very curious about his birth mom. He's wanted to find her and track her down on occassion. So, we've had to explain to him that we cannot legally look for her until he is 18 years old, at which point we will emphatically help him search for her. Though he doesn't like that answer, he accepts it. I think he recalled what we've told him and changed his mind about sending the paper (which is shown here).

No Move For C

2008-10-07T14:35:00.001-07:00

In addition to fighting to get M the help he needs, we're regularly fighting with C's school. She was moved from an amazing deaf/HoH program to one that is closer but that I am not thrilled with (to say the least). The program was implemented over the summer and is designed with the needs of the oral children (meaning deaf children who were implanted at an extremely young age and who are learning how to communicate orally) in mind. The teacher (who had hearing as a child and uses a Cochlear as an adult) is from a deaf/HoH program in a neighboring town, which taught an oral-based program, so I knew this was going to be the ideal they were planning to implement with this program.

Allow me to express the problems with this for my daughter:

C is profoundly deaf. She was implanted with a Cochlear Implant at nearly 5 years old (it is believed that children tend to loose the ability to "learn to hear" at this age). C's implant has not worked as they had hoped and she generally cannot hear people speaking. In addition, C only started learning to communicate through sign when she came home from China nearly 2 years ago (has it really been that long?). Prior to that she moaned, cried and pointed until she got what she wanted. She would squat to indicate she had to go potty, but that was the only form of communication she knew. She was never around nor had ever been introduced to other deaf persons/culture.

When we moved up here to Washington, she was placed in a deaf/HoH program that taught a significant part of their class using ASL (for reading they used SEE [Signed Exact English]). There were 13 additional deaf students within her own age range that she got to interact with every day. She just blossomed and her communication skills took off. So, I've been fighting to get her back into that program, since it was practically written with her in mind! The teacher is deaf, the para's are all deaf and the rest of the team all are family members of a deaf person (either sibling, parent or son/daughter of a deaf person).

Unfortunately, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place with C's situation. Our school district will release C to go to this previous school but will not provide transportation. Since we only have 1 vehicle I cannot even fathom being able to provide transportation for C. As it is, I have to walk to the bus stop every afternoon to pick them up. And this past week has been a wet walk. I'd gladly drive down to pick them up if it were feasible for us to purchase a second car, in which case I'd drive C to the better school.

Well, at least the deaf/HoH specialist is attempting to work with me. He's actually going to the School For The Deaf to observe and get advice on deaf culture, with C specifically in mind. Sadly, I am the only parent (out of 8 parents) who is interested in giving my child these important socialization and communication skills. And, thankfully, when we move again we'll be able to bring Matt's Jeep as a second vehicle (it's an old classic that he's been having restored to some degree. With his deployment I'm planning on using some of the savings to buy a new engine to ensure it is able to do the job of transporting him safely. He loves his Jeep so much that he'll never get rid of it... So, might as well make it safer). This will allow me to tell the current school to take a bite and drive C to school!

Whew... The luxury of having special need kiddos!

Reading Help Is On The Way

2008-10-07T14:16:00.000-07:00

M has had reading as part of his IEP since last year's reevaluation because the school believed he had (still has, really) a learning disorder, in particular with reading. His skills are proving them right, needless to say. Unfortunately, Washington feels that reading is not a mandatory thing to learn in Kindergarten, whereas it is mandatory in California (where his IEP was written). So, when we arrived here, the reading portion of his IEP was blown off. I have been fighting with the school to get it put back on since September 3rd. I've even shown them the IEP with the reading requirements to no avail. So, I've instigated a full evaluation of Matthew's school needs in the hopes of getting him further assistance. Sadly, if the behavioral therapist who sees M would officially diagnose him with ADHD (instead of just verbally claiming he has it) he would qualify for additional assistance under IDEA because he would have a neurological diagnosis which is a qualifying special need.

So, in the hopes of getting our son the additional help he needs with his reading, we've taken him to Sylvan Learning Center. He was evaluated this morning during a two-hour block of testing. We'll get his results on Thursday, which is when they'll also tell us what hours and days of the week they think they'll need to work with him to get him up to par in reading. The cost for the evaluation was $145 and the enrollment fee was $55, but during October they're having a special of $94 instead! The cost per hour for the tutoring is $43 - $47. I might actually have to get a job to help pay for the tutoring! (Yikes... What am I thinking? lol)

The reason we went with Sylvan Learning Center is because they have guaranteed their work with M and they have centers located across the country in almost every location we would be stationed, making accessibility a bonus (they even have one in the really tiny town we're moving to next year). Plus, his information can be transfered to any of the other locations and the enrollment is lifetime!

I hope this works miracles!

There's A Conference!

2008-10-06T12:19:00.000-07:00

A wonderful lady (whom I will call "Ms. J") posted on my blog yesterday, giving me encouragment regarding my posts about prenatal drug exposure. I, of course, checked out her blog and found that she is a very experienced lady in regards to drug babies. She has 6 beautiful adopted children, all of whom were drug exposed, and is one of the key-note speakers for the 5th Annual National Drug Endangered Children's Conference being held in Salt Lake City starting today.

After learning about the conference from Ms. J's blog, I tracked down the leading organization. It never dawned on me before reading her blog that there was support available for our son and our family. The National Alliance For Drug Endangered Children (http://www.nationaldec.org/) is an organization that helps to educate families, caregivers and volunteers as well as providing support and connection to state programs to assist children who have been exposed to drugs through biological parental use, distribution and/or manufacturing.

What is truly amazing is that I simply started to feel the need to express my concern for these children on my blog and the next thing I know I'm being connected to resources that I never knew were available. Isn't it amazing how we're almost guided in important directions?

My Experiences With Prenatal Drug Use

2008-10-05T14:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I posted/pasted some important information about what happens to infants, toddlers and children who were exposed to drugs prenatally. I received a very supportive comment from my mom regarding my post. She highly encouraged me to share our personal experiences with prenatal drug exposure. No, my parents did not do drugs, especially not while my mom was pregnant with their three children, but my son's birth mother did. M was exposed to Crystal Meth (ICE) and Marijuana in utero and was born with both, including 3,000 nanograms of Crystal Meth, in his little system.

Here's our story:

M came home to us in September 2002 from an 8 day stay in the hospital due to pneumonia. He was only 2-months-old at the time and was the first of many bouts with this deadly disease (which the prenatal drug exposure may have been a contributing factor). His first foster placement had fallen through; who knows why the family gave up on him, but we got a first hand show of one possibility. The first night M was home his breathing and actions were typical of any sick baby. He was quiet and sleepy but needed lots of antibiotics to continue treating the pneumonia. The second day we actually rushed him back to the emergency room because his lips turned blue and his fingers began changing colors from a lack of oxygen. We spent the following 5 days in the hospital, never leaving his side. During that time M had test after test on his heart. They diagnosed him with Astham and found a heart murmur (which he still has) while examining what appeared to be a misshapen heart. In reality, his lungs were so full of fluid that they were squeezing M's heart into an "S" shape.

During the months that followed, we were treated to the realities of a child who was prenatally exposed to drugs. A shrill scream that sounded as if someone was stabbing him over and over again with a large, sharp knife for an average of 2 hours per night was our regular routine. It was scary for us and for our son, especially since nobody understood what was happening. Family and friends thought we were simply inexperienced parents who were overwhelmed with the normal fussings of a baby. What they didn't understand was that he was experiencing withdrawals, and they were terrifying. His reactions to loud, sudden noises was non-exhistent, making him seem deaf. And he never mumbled or cooed as a normal infant would. To this day we continue to see Autism-like symptoms, many of which doctors and physicians don't know how to diagnose because they don't "fit" into place like true Autism.

Over the years, M has had Occupational Therapists, Speech Therapists and Behavior Therapists, but it was often only after a large battle with pediatricians that he was evaluated. His developmental skills were "scattered" making it difficult to show M's needs "on paper", though they were clearly displayed in his day to day life.

"Scattered" development means that he performs at/above age level in some areas while performing below age level in other areas. For example: when he was 5 months old, he could sit by himself but could not use his arms to push himself up; when he was 7 months old he was walking with assistance but could not crawl; when he turned 12 months old M could crawl but could not walk by himself. The pattern is always unusual and has not ceased as he has gotten older. In fact, the developmental difficulties are quite different, though very noticeable when compared to his peers.

His language skills are so poor that he was recently offered to attend the ELL (English Language Learner) program. This program is designed for children whose primary language is other than English and they attend this program to learn English more fluently. M was raised with the English language, but his skills are such that he is severely lacking in language. He uses what he does know quite well, but his vocabulary is limited. I continue to "interpret" for him to family and friends.

Behavior has always been the biggest issue for M. People see him as a brat who throws tantrums. What most people find hard to understand is that M is actually doing very well for the things that he has had to overcome in his little life. The tantrums that he does throw are miniscule compared to what they have been in the past. He tries excessively hard to reign himself in and succeeds to such a degree that anyone would be amazed at the changes had they known him as a 2-year-old. Unfortunately, because others do not understand why he behaves in this manner, they find it hard to accept him and acknowledge that his difficulties are drug-induced rather than a personal choice. And it is excessively difficult for me to be able to explain why M does these things because most people tend to believe that he behaves this way because I allow it. They refuse to see the true reason.

It is not M's personal desire to behave this way, but a drug-induced need to lash out, to explode, in an emotional outburst that would drain even the most patient person. When he is finally able to pull himself together he expresses deep sorrow at how he has behaved. His reactions are the same reactions I have seen from people with Epilepsy: apologetic, regretful, and fearful that he could not control himself.

The things that we deal with daily are things that could have been prevented had his birth-mom not done drugs. Oh, I firmly believe that drugs are a disease, an illness that cannot be controlled. And I absolutely believe that M's birth-mom abandoned him at the hospital when he was born out of pure love. I honestly feel that she loved her son enough to want him to have a better life than she could have provided for him, and I love her for that. But I also see the effects her actions have had on my son.

M suffers every day from the drugs he was exposed to prenatally. He has no friends, he cannot tollerate change, he has a severe language delay, he has a learning disorder in reading, he has uncontrollable tantrums, he has asthma and will always be suseptible to pneumonia and broncchial diseases and M will most likely always have his heart murmur (thankfully it is not life threatening). M was recently diagnosed with ADHD, which scientists have attributed as factor of drug use. And, sadly, for the rest of his life, between the prenatal drug exposure and his ADHD, M will have to fight the strong desire to use drugs. Every single day Matt, M and I fight the effects drugs have had, and continue to have, while fighting the stigma that has been placed on him for behavior that the public simply does not comprehend (my beloved and understanding parents were among this group until they researched the realities of a drug exposed infant; now they are among M's strongest supporters).

So, who do drugs hurt? MY SON! They've hurt him far more than most people will ever be able to truly understand.

This was an extremely difficult and emotional piece for me to write. It brought forth many of the things we have experienced and what little people are able to understand and accept about our son. With each word a tear fell as I remembered each agonizing goal that M achieved. I hope and pray that this gives birth mothers the courage to stop using drugs while they are pregnant and gives adoptive/foster families the courage to step forward to love and raise these amazing children who deserve to have a loving and caring family.