International Adoption Book

Monday, September 14, 2009

He's Off

Waiting for Matt to get off the plane:
Here comes Dad:
Our oldest son is so happy to see Dad that he can't control his tears:
Dad and Daughter pose with our newest addition:
Mom and MJ take a nap:
Today has been a somewhat sad day so far... And it's only 9:00 in the morning. Matt headed back to Iraq this morning leaving me feeling bereft and lonely, though I am lovingly surounded by my blessed children and my family, for which I am grateful.

Matt arrived safely on Saturday, August 29th around 11:00am. Luckily, because of the timing of his arrival in Dallas on that day, his actual leave didn't officially start until midnight on Sunday. So we all got to have almost a full extra day with Daddy. It was fabulous, so I'm not going to complain that he had to leave so early this morning to make it back to Dallas by noon today.

I must tell you all how amazing Matt's arrival in Sacramento was... The folks waiting to board the plane Matt had just disembarked gave the 3 Soldiers (well, 1 was a Marine) a standing ovation. It was very sweet and made me cry even more when I was able to get my hands on him. I stood back and let the kids love on their daddy first.

Matt couldn't keep his hands off my belly the entire drive home. It wasn't until we were nearly home that he felt MJ move for the first time, though I could feel him jumping around like there was no tomorrow. I guess Matt just needed practice to know what he was experiencing. And, for comic relief, Matt decided to drive home from the airport. During the trip he finally burst out with the fact that he had only gotten about 4 hours of sleep during the previous 72 hours. Great... And we were letting him drive? What were we thinking? But, he got us home safely, though definitetely NOT swiftly. That guy drove 5 miles per hour UNDER the speed limit. And in California that's worse than speeding!!! lol.

During Matt's 15 days of leave we did loads of stuff, yet nothing at all. I gave birth to our youngest son, MJ. So now we have 3 beautiful children... 2 adopted and 1 biological. They are all so precious; I can't believe how lucky we are!!! Poor Matt spent his first 6 days in the hospital with me. I was admitted on Monday, September 31st and MJ was born via c-section on Tuesday, September 1st at 2:28pm. I was released on Friday, September 4th. But, we spent all day Sunday in the hospital, too, for the first round of ripening. Monday was the second round of ripening using something called (or similar sounding to) doxycyclene. It looked like a shoe string that the doctor tucked in behind my cervix. It began working around 3:30pm and threw me into full blown labor. Sadly, though, it didn't ripen my cervix. So, Matt asked my OB doctor what our next step would be and he laid out all the possibilities... We chose to go the route of a c-section rather than go through more ripening with the distinct possibility of still having to have a c-section.

The following week was full of caring for me during my recovery from surgery. Matt took care of the big kids while I cared for MJ (he's being breastfed... What a shocker for me as I hadn't intended on going that route). Matt ended up doing some repairs to the guesthouse for the kids and I. My dad helped him a bit with some of the projects, but basically Matt took care of everything for us.

The last few days that Matt was here we spent upstairs in the guesthouse. Because the guesthouse is over my parent's garage and the doctor told me no stairs we were staying in my parent's house. But, with lots of care, I recovered enough to be able to spend the last few days alone with Matt (and the kids, of course). My OB was super surprised at the speed of my recovery. He was so surprised that when I sat up on the table he actually took a step backwards and made an exclamation about how well I was doing. Though, I have to admit that I over did it this past week when I went shopping with Matt and Mom. I wasn't suposed to be able to walk a block until my 4th week of recovery and here I was walking around Wal-Mart in the middle of my 2nd week of recovery... WAY too much, I admit; I was in massive pain for several days after.

What is even more suprising than my recovery is the newly discovered knowledge that Matt's grandmother has been reading our family blogs. We were told in no uncertain terms that we had been disowned by Matt's Dad's side of the family (there was a rather large fight between me and my mother-in-law and 2 sisters-in law over the adoption of our daughter back in September 2005). Anyway, back to the point of this paragraph... Matt's dad left a message on our cell on Friday night congratulating us on our newest addition. To say that Matt was pissed at me is a complete understatement... When "Dad" told him congratulations Matt thought I had gone behind his back and shared our joyous news with his family without his permission. Little did we know that "Grandma" reads our blog regularly and was able to tell "Dad" about his newest grandson. This new piece of information about his family keeping the doors open stunned Matt so much that he was actually grinning from ear to ear for more than a day. He, in fact, walked around for the last few days with a glimmer of hope alight in his eyes. I know he hopes for a renewal of congenial relations with his family, though he won't dare admit his hopes aloud for fear of the complete oposite occuring. I do too, though I know I won't be welcomed very warmly, if ever. My point is that we are thrilled that the door to Matt's family is open, even if it is just a crack. This has made Matt so happy, which totally thrills me to pieces.

Anyway, I'll rattle on and on about this subject in the hopes of making that crack in the door open a touch wider for Matt and my kids (especially our oldest son, M, because he still asks why he can't see his grandpa and grandma. He remembers them very well and doesn't understand why they don't love him any more, though we regularly explain that he is still loved it's just that they are angry at Mom and Dad... A truly sad concept for any child, and especially sad for one who is so lacking in self confidence as Little M). So, I'll close here with a warm welcome to Matt's grandma and with the selfish hope that she continues to read this blog. And I'll also close with the reminder that Matt is headed back to Iraq. He will be sorely missed and he will remain in my thoughts and prayers that he comes back to us safe and sound (and FAST)!!!



Amelia said...

I realize that I'm hormonal, (well, plus I'm just that kind of girl) but I cried a lil bit with this one. (the one before it too, SUCH cute pictures!!) I'm resentful and huffy that J leaves me daily to go the 4 miles to his parents' house, it's simply beyond my powers of imagination to consider what you are going through with Matt leaving, and for him as well. I'm so happy for you all that you were able to spend this well deserved time together. But wow. Suffice to say, you are made of much stronger stuff than I. :)
Love, Amelia
P.S. You have an oldest son and a youngest son!! YAY!!

Mary Ellen said...

I'm overwhelmed with all the emotions emanating from this post. Congratulations on your new arrival, and on the success of your older two! New schools are always challenging, even without the extra factor of having to get used to a new interpreter.

I'm praying for Matt's safe return, and for family healing (and for you to have enough energy to deal with it all!) God bless you all.

Heather C. said...

Gotta say I'm a little misty eyed. I'm just so happy for all of you and excited that the door is open for Matt and the kids to maybe reconnect. I understand the situation all too well. My Dad and most of his family still have never meet my daughter, not for lack of trying on my part either.