So, we have finally gotten all our documents shipped out to the company that is helping us repossess the property we were selling. It has been a long hard road; one that we will never traverse again since it left us in a huge bind, both emotionally and financially! Partly because of the lack of finality of the sale we lost our child, for which I am SO VERY ANGRY! It's a horrific feeling to KNOW that you are meant to do something and travel down a certain road but to continously find that the path blocked!
Yes, I am still upset about not being able to continue down the path to Ethiopia. I still get teary-eyed and I still get depressed. But I am moving forward. There is nothing else that I can do. The guy who was doing our home study has yet to finally complete the document (even though he told us more than 2 months ago that is was complete) and has continuously lied about the process, progress and his activities on our behalf. I think he was a scam... But we were stuck in his grasp and couldn't get out from under his thumb. As an adoptive family we are often living our life at the whim of others. It is a painful reminder that we are dependant upon the good will of a multitude people to help our family grow. But, we continue to leap towards this end, no matter how rough/difficult the road becomes, in order to fulfill the dream of holding our own children!
Adopting again is a goal I am looking forward to and am almost desperate to fulfill. As I look around our bedroom I can see our Ethiopian son sleeping peacefully in the crib by our bed. I can hear his cries as he waits for me to pick him up and comfort him. I can see him looking at me with those big, beautiful, dark eyes above high cheekbones as he plays in the bath. I can smell the oils that keep his hair and skin moist. I can see him sitting right in the middle of M and C as we get ready for our first family photo!
So... Here's hoping that the property issue resolves itself quickly and Matt returns home safely so that we can (again) begin the process to bring home our next angel!!!
We're Back!!! :)
14 years ago
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