Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Reading Help Is On The Way
So, in the hopes of getting our son the additional help he needs with his reading, we've taken him to Sylvan Learning Center. He was evaluated this morning during a two-hour block of testing. We'll get his results on Thursday, which is when they'll also tell us what hours and days of the week they think they'll need to work with him to get him up to par in reading. The cost for the evaluation was $145 and the enrollment fee was $55, but during October they're having a special of $94 instead! The cost per hour for the tutoring is $43 - $47. I might actually have to get a job to help pay for the tutoring! (Yikes... What am I thinking? lol)
The reason we went with Sylvan Learning Center is because they have guaranteed their work with M and they have centers located across the country in almost every location we would be stationed, making accessibility a bonus (they even have one in the really tiny town we're moving to next year). Plus, his information can be transfered to any of the other locations and the enrollment is lifetime!
I hope this works miracles!
Monday, October 6, 2008
There's A Conference!
After learning about the conference from Ms. J's blog, I tracked down the leading organization. It never dawned on me before reading her blog that there was support available for our son and our family. The National Alliance For Drug Endangered Children (http://www.nationaldec.org/) is an organization that helps to educate families, caregivers and volunteers as well as providing support and connection to state programs to assist children who have been exposed to drugs through biological parental use, distribution and/or manufacturing.
What is truly amazing is that I simply started to feel the need to express my concern for these children on my blog and the next thing I know I'm being connected to resources that I never knew were available. Isn't it amazing how we're almost guided in important directions?
Sunday, October 5, 2008
My Experiences With Prenatal Drug Use
Here's our story:
M came home to us in September 2002 from an 8 day stay in the hospital due to pneumonia. He was only 2-months-old at the time and was the first of many bouts with this deadly disease (which the prenatal drug exposure may have been a contributing factor). His first foster placement had fallen through; who knows why the family gave up on him, but we got a first hand show of one possibility. The first night M was home his breathing and actions were typical of any sick baby. He was quiet and sleepy but needed lots of antibiotics to continue treating the pneumonia. The second day we actually rushed him back to the emergency room because his lips turned blue and his fingers began changing colors from a lack of oxygen. We spent the following 5 days in the hospital, never leaving his side. During that time M had test after test on his heart. They diagnosed him with Astham and found a heart murmur (which he still has) while examining what appeared to be a misshapen heart. In reality, his lungs were so full of fluid that they were squeezing M's heart into an "S" shape.
During the months that followed, we were treated to the realities of a child who was prenatally exposed to drugs. A shrill scream that sounded as if someone was stabbing him over and over again with a large, sharp knife for an average of 2 hours per night was our regular routine. It was scary for us and for our son, especially since nobody understood what was happening. Family and friends thought we were simply inexperienced parents who were overwhelmed with the normal fussings of a baby. What they didn't understand was that he was experiencing withdrawals, and they were terrifying. His reactions to loud, sudden noises was non-exhistent, making him seem deaf. And he never mumbled or cooed as a normal infant would. To this day we continue to see Autism-like symptoms, many of which doctors and physicians don't know how to diagnose because they don't "fit" into place like true Autism.
Over the years, M has had Occupational Therapists, Speech Therapists and Behavior Therapists, but it was often only after a large battle with pediatricians that he was evaluated. His developmental skills were "scattered" making it difficult to show M's needs "on paper", though they were clearly displayed in his day to day life.
"Scattered" development means that he performs at/above age level in some areas while performing below age level in other areas. For example: when he was 5 months old, he could sit by himself but could not use his arms to push himself up; when he was 7 months old he was walking with assistance but could not crawl; when he turned 12 months old M could crawl but could not walk by himself. The pattern is always unusual and has not ceased as he has gotten older. In fact, the developmental difficulties are quite different, though very noticeable when compared to his peers.
His language skills are so poor that he was recently offered to attend the ELL (English Language Learner) program. This program is designed for children whose primary language is other than English and they attend this program to learn English more fluently. M was raised with the English language, but his skills are such that he is severely lacking in language. He uses what he does know quite well, but his vocabulary is limited. I continue to "interpret" for him to family and friends.
Behavior has always been the biggest issue for M. People see him as a brat who throws tantrums. What most people find hard to understand is that M is actually doing very well for the things that he has had to overcome in his little life. The tantrums that he does throw are miniscule compared to what they have been in the past. He tries excessively hard to reign himself in and succeeds to such a degree that anyone would be amazed at the changes had they known him as a 2-year-old. Unfortunately, because others do not understand why he behaves in this manner, they find it hard to accept him and acknowledge that his difficulties are drug-induced rather than a personal choice. And it is excessively difficult for me to be able to explain why M does these things because most people tend to believe that he behaves this way because I allow it. They refuse to see the true reason.
It is not M's personal desire to behave this way, but a drug-induced need to lash out, to explode, in an emotional outburst that would drain even the most patient person. When he is finally able to pull himself together he expresses deep sorrow at how he has behaved. His reactions are the same reactions I have seen from people with Epilepsy: apologetic, regretful, and fearful that he could not control himself.
The things that we deal with daily are things that could have been prevented had his birth-mom not done drugs. Oh, I firmly believe that drugs are a disease, an illness that cannot be controlled. And I absolutely believe that M's birth-mom abandoned him at the hospital when he was born out of pure love. I honestly feel that she loved her son enough to want him to have a better life than she could have provided for him, and I love her for that. But I also see the effects her actions have had on my son.
M suffers every day from the drugs he was exposed to prenatally. He has no friends, he cannot tollerate change, he has a severe language delay, he has a learning disorder in reading, he has uncontrollable tantrums, he has asthma and will always be suseptible to pneumonia and broncchial diseases and M will most likely always have his heart murmur (thankfully it is not life threatening). M was recently diagnosed with ADHD, which scientists have attributed as factor of drug use. And, sadly, for the rest of his life, between the prenatal drug exposure and his ADHD, M will have to fight the strong desire to use drugs. Every single day Matt, M and I fight the effects drugs have had, and continue to have, while fighting the stigma that has been placed on him for behavior that the public simply does not comprehend (my beloved and understanding parents were among this group until they researched the realities of a drug exposed infant; now they are among M's strongest supporters).
So, who do drugs hurt? MY SON! They've hurt him far more than most people will ever be able to truly understand.
This was an extremely difficult and emotional piece for me to write. It brought forth many of the things we have experienced and what little people are able to understand and accept about our son. With each word a tear fell as I remembered each agonizing goal that M achieved. I hope and pray that this gives birth mothers the courage to stop using drugs while they are pregnant and gives adoptive/foster families the courage to step forward to love and raise these amazing children who deserve to have a loving and caring family.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
"Drugs Don't Hurt Anybody"
http://www.crystalrecovery.com/GoAskAlice/GoAA.html?_top=G-PreNatalMeth.html (What follows was copied from this site.)
Pre-Natal Meth Exposure
I was clean from meth for 6 months and started using again. I am now 7 months pregnant what can this do to my baby?
Alice's Answer: Methamphetamine use during pregnancy is believed to place the unborn fetus at risk. Methamphetamine causes increased maternal blood pressure and heart rate, which can result in premature delivery or spontaneous abortion. The drug also constricts blood vessels in the placenta that feed the fetus which results in reduced blood flow to the fetus and ultimately reduced oxygen and nutrient supply. It is known that methamphetamine passes through the placenta that feeds the fetus and can cause elevated fetal blood pressure potential leading to prenatal strokes, heart or other major organ damage. It can also cause an increased or extremely variable heart rate in the fetus and slowing or alteration of fetal growth.
Fetal development abnormalities have been described sporadically in the medical literature but no true syndrome specifically linked with maternal use of methamphetamine use in the prenatal period has been described. Fetuses exposed in utero have been shown to have central nervous system abnormalities, cardiovascular system abnormalities, intestinal abnormalities, urogenital system abnormalities, and malformations of the extremities. However, though these results are very suspicious and highly suggestive of the involvement of methamphetamine use, the direct link between fetal abnormalities and maternal methamphetamine use is not clearly discernable.
With the exception of any major organ system damage or permanent vessel damage, birth outcomes are felt to improve if the mother stops using the drug in the last 6 months of the pregnancy.
The full effect of maternal use of methamphetamine on the newborn infant is not completely known and there is currently a multi-center study underway to better describe this issue. It is, however, known that the infant may suffer intrauterine growth delay and is usually smaller than the norm at birth. Some of these infants have withdrawal symptoms and a recent study showed that about 4% of that study of methamphetamine-exposed infants needed treatment for withdrawal. Newborns that were exposed to methamphetamine in utero are frequently very sleepy for the first few weeks after birth, often to the point on not waking to feed. After this time, the infants behave more like a cocaine-exposed infant and are often jittery, irritable and have a shrill cry. Infants may have irregular sleep patterns, poor feeding, tremors and increased muscle tone. These infants may also have a poor ability to habituate or self-regulate, especially under stressful situations. Therefore, if their environment is noisy and chaotic, the infants do not tolerate it well and can become even more irritable.
Finally, these infants are known to be at increased risk for SIDS, viral hepatitis (such as Hepatitis B and C), and HIV.
What are the possible areas of concern for children who may have been exposed to meth in the womb, and after they are born?
Health Conditions of Drug-exposed Infants
Birth weight: Birth weight is an important factor associated with children's overall health and development. Children who weigh under five-and-one-half pounds at birth are more likely to have serious medical problems and to exhibit developmental delays. Drug-exposed infants often do not exhibit normal development.
Prematurity: The risk of prematurity (birth at less than thirty-seven weeks) is higher in drug-exposed infants. Other complications can include an increase in acute medical problems following birth, and extended periods of hospitalization. Birth weight under three pounds has been associated with poor physical growth and poor general health status at school age. Low Birth weight infants also have an increased risk of neurosensory deficits, behavioral and attention deficits, psychiatric problems, and poor school performance. Premature infants may have experienced bleeding of the brain tissue, hydrocephalus, bronchial problems, eye disease, and interferences with the normal ability to feed.
Small for Gestational Age (SGA): This term is used to describe infants whose Birth weight is below the third percentile for their gestational age (i.e., 97% of infants the same age are heavier than the SGA infant). It is common for women who abuse cocaine to experience decreased appetite and provide inadequate nutrition for themselves and their baby.
Failure to Thrive (FTT): Infants who were exposed to alcohol and/or drugs may exhibit this disorder, which is characterized by a loss of weight, or slowing of weight gain, and a failure to reach developmental milestones. This can be due to medical and/or environmental factors. The infant's behavior includes poor sucking, difficulty in swallowing, and distractibility. Many of these children live in chronically dysfunctional families which places them at greater risk of parental neglect.
Neurobehavioral symptoms: Within seventy-two hours after birth, many infants who were exposed prenatally to drugs experience withdrawal symptoms, including tremors and irritability. Their skin may be red and dry; they may have a fever, sweating, diarrhea, excessive vomiting, and even seizures. Such infants may require medication for calming. Other infants exposed to stimulants show a pattern of lethargy during the first few days after birth, are easily overstimulated, and may go from sleep to loud crying within seconds. These behaviors usually decrease over time and subside in toddlerhood.
Infectious diseases: Infants with prenatal drug exposure may be exposed prenatally or postnatally to infectious and/or sexually transmitted diseases contracted by their mothers. The most common infectious diseases seen in infants are chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, HIV, and AIDS.
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS): Children who have been exposed prenatally to alcohol and/or drugs have an increased risk of dying from sudden infant death syndrome. The causes of SIDS are unknown and its occurrence is almost impossible to predict. Apnea/cardiac monitoring is recommended for these infants.
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: Mothers who consume large quantities of alcohol during pregnancy may have babies who are born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (or FAS). A diagnosis of FAS is based on three factors: 1) prenatal and postnatal growth retardation; 2) central nervous system abnormalities, and, 3) abnormalities of the face. Many of these children display significant disabilities, learning disorders, and emotional problems as they mature.
Each of the above conditions associated with prematurity or drug exposure has programmatic implications for caregivers; the children who exhibit these conditions are often referred to as medically fragile.
Developmental Outcomes: There are many unknowns involved in trying to predict the outcomes of infants and children exposed to drugs. While we know that there are certain physical problems that may remain with the child, in a structured and nurturing environment, many of these children are able to grow and develop quite normally. A small percentage of children have been found to have moderate to severe developmental problems. But regardless of their health status, all children who have a history of prenatal substance exposure should receive developmental evaluations on a regular basis: at least once during the first six months; at twelve months; and at least every year thereafter until school age. Early identification of social, language, cognitive and motor development problems is essential.
Developmental Patterns in Children Exposed Prenatally to Drugs
Birth to fifteen months: Unpredictable sleeping patterns, Feeding difficulties Irritability, Atypical social interactions, Delayed language development, Poor fine motor development.
Toddlers from sixteen months to thirty-six months: Atypical social interactions, Minimal play strategies.
Preschool children from age three to five: While average preschoolers are beginning to share and take turns, demonstrate language skills, and increase their attention spans in a group setting, the drug-exposed toddler may be hyperactive, have a short attention span, lose control easily, have mood swings and problems moving from one activity to another. These children may also experience difficulties processing auditory or visual information/instructions.
School and teenage years: There has not been sufficient research into the long term biological effects of drug exposure on older children and teenagers; however, we do know that children with the behaviors described above are at greater risk of abuse and neglect, learning disabilities, and behavioral problems. Obviously, it becomes imperative to identify these problems at a very early age, access the necessary resources for the child, and build a team of professionals who regularly monitor the progress of each child.Supporting a drug-exposed child in the course of his life may require advocating vigorously for specialized educational services; providing recreational and employment opportunities that allow a measure of success; educating parents; and providing counseling.
Techniques in Working with Drug-exposed Infants and Young Children:
Respite and crisis care programs working with drug exposed infants and children may not know the exact drugs to which each child was exposed. A combination of substances, including alcohol and tobacco, may be involved.There are a few techniques, however, which can be used in a general plan of care that may be individualized to meet the specific problems of each child:
1. Provide a calm environment: low lighting; soft voices; slow transition from one activity to another.
2. Be aware of signs of escalated behavior and frantic distress states before they occur, e.g., increased yawns, hiccoughs, sneezes, increased muscle tone and flailing, irritability, disorganized sucking, and crying.
Use calming and special care techniques on a regular basis, such as:
1. swaddling blankets tightly around the infant.
2. sing a pacifier even when the infant is not organized enough to maintain a regular suck.
3. rocking, holding, or placing the infant in a swing, or Snuggly™ carrier.
4. massaging the child.
5. bathing in a warm bath, followed by a soothing application of lotion.
6. rubbing ointment on diaper area to prevent skin breakdown.
7. encourage developmental abilities when the infant is calm and receptive using only one stimulus at a time. Look for signs of infant distress and discontinue the activity if this occurs.
8. gradually increase the amount and time of daily developmental activities; encourage the child to develop self-calming behaviors and self control of his own body movements.
Behavior Descriptions and Suggested Strategies.
Feeding problems: Feed the baby more often; feed smaller amounts at one time; allow the infant to rest frequently during feeding. Place the infant upright for feeding; after feeding, place the child on his side or stomach to prevent choking; if vomiting occurs, clean the skin immediately to prevent irritation.
Irritability/unresponsive to caregiver: Reduce noise in the environment; turn down lights; swaddle the infant: wrap snugly in a blanket with arms bound close to the body. Hold the infant closely; put the infant in a bunting-type wrapper and carry it close to your body. Rock the infant slowly and rhythmically, either horizontally or with its head supported vertically, whichever soothes. Place the child in a front-pack carrier; walk with the infant; offer the infant a pacifier or place it in an infant swing.
Goes from one adult to another, showing no preference for a particular adult: Respond to specific needs of child with predictability and regularity.May have poor inner controls/frequent temper tantrums: Use books, pictures, doll play, and conversation to help the child explore and express a range of feelings.
Ignores verbal/gestural limit setting: Talk the child through to the consequence of the action.
Shows decreased compliance with simple, routine commands: Provide the child with explicitly consistent limits of behavior.
Exhibits tremors when stacking or reaching: Observe the child and note the onset of tremors, their duration, and how the child compensates for them; provide a variety of materials to enhance development and refinement of small motor skills, e.g., blocks, stacking toys, large Leggos™, and puzzles with large pieces. Sand and water play are soothing and appropriate.
Unable to end or let go of preferred object or activity: Provide attention and time to children who are behaving appropriately; provide child with an opportunity to take turns with peers and adults.
Delayed receptive and expressive language: Create a stable environment where the child feels safe to express feelings, wants, and needs; use stories/records/songs; use hands-on activities to reinforce the child’s language abilities.
Expresses wants, needs, and fears by having frequent temper tantrums: Remove and help calm the child; redirect the child’s attention; verbalize the expected behavior; reflect the child’s feelings. Praise attempts toward adaptive behavior. Set consistent limits.
Difficulty with gross motor skills (e.g. swinging, climbing, throwing, catching, jumping, running, and balancing): Provide appropriate motor activities through play, songs, and equipment. Offer guidance, modeling, and verbal cues as needed.
Over-reacts to separation of primary caregiver: Offer verbal reassurance; be consistent, and help the child learn to trust adults.
Withdraws and seems to daydream or not be there: Provide opportunities for contact; move close to the child, make eye contact, use verbal reassurance; allow, identify, and react to the child’s expressions of emotions.
Frequent temper tantrums: Understand that a tantrum is usually a healthy release of rage and frustration; protect the child from harm; remove objects from the child’s path if he is rolling on floor. Some children do not want to be held during a tantrum and doing so can cause more frustration. Remain calm, using a soothing voice; anger will only escalate the child’s frustration. Do not shout or threaten to spank the child–the adult needs to be in control. Help the child to use words to describe emotions. Read stories about feelings. Help the child gain control by making eye contact, sitting next to the child, giving verbal reassurance, and offering physical comfort (rubbing back, etc.). Note the circumstances that provoked the tantrum, and try to avoid such confrontations when possible. Provide a neutral area for the child to work through the tantrum, (e.g., a large cushion or bean bag chair). Some children want to work through a tantrum alone; keep the child in sight, but do not interact until he is calm.
Parent Involvement.
It is critical to the success of the drug-exposed infant that the eventual caregiver (parent, relative, foster parent, respite provider, adoptive parent) learn the care routine, control techniques, and background of the children for whom they will be providing care. Understanding the etiology of drug-exposure, the types of medical problems that arise, the developmental patterns, and the techniques for handling drug-exposed infants and toddlers is imperative.
Program social workers, case managers, child care staff, and nursing staff must all work together with the caregiver to offer parent education (“hands-on” opportunities to provide care under the guidance of professionals), and encouragement for families who undertake the care of a drug-exposed infant. The caregiver’s understanding of the child’s behavior, physical “cues,” and developmental problems, goes a long way in helping the drug-exposed infant, toddler, and teen succeed. It also assists the caregiver in setting realistic expectations for children who enter the world battling the effects of their parent’s addiction. Many children who were prenatally exposed to drugs will grow and develop without unusual problems. However, for those infants who have physical indicators, the respite and crisis care provider can make a difference by providing, perhaps, the first stable, nurturing environment. Here, the child can be observed, positive routines for care can be established, and parents can receive the critically necessary education and support to enable them to care for an alcohol or drug-exposed child.Summary: Staff training, caregiver training, and parent education are all critical elements of any program that will be successful with these children. Physical elements of the environment (lighting, noise, and space) may need to be adjusted to accommodate their care. The inclusion of medical support, i.e., nurses and physicians who are familiar with the problems of these children, is essential. In summary, the care of alcohol and drug-exposed children is a team effort that requires coordination, case management, special care techniques, and education to be successful in any respite or crisis care situation. With these components in place, agencies and families can witness the positive growth and development of children who have been greatly at risk.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Health Update For Manette
Apparently, because I wasn't having any bleeding and only had a complaint of mild discomfort (like the pre-period minor cramping one can often get) throughout the week the doctor felt it wasn't necessary to do anything else.
While we were discussing things, she also informed me that they had sent the polyps to the lab. It turns out they were benign (non-cancerous). What a happy relief that was to hear. Though I do feel I must admit to not being concious of the possibility until my neighbor came to inform me of Matt's bad behavior.
Apparently, on the 18th when I had my surgery, Matt had gone next door to tell her what I had endured and to enlist her help with my care for the day (not that I would have known anything since I was knocked out all day). While he was there he told her about the removal of the polyps. She got quite nervous about my health because she always knew polyps to be the precurser to cancer (as in the polyps one can find in the colon). She just knew Matt meant to say cysts instead and asked me to warn Matt of his error. When I told her that they were, in fact, polyps, she got nervous all over again, though she was utterly relieved when I told her the happy news on Thursday!
To make a long story short... I'm fine and recovering well!!!
No Doughnuts Here!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Recovery Play
So, while I'm still recovering the kids and Matt decided to wrestle around a bit. They had loads of fun and entertained me while they were at it! I took loads of photos (some of which you see here) and a few videos (I've posted one to give you an idea of how much fun and how wild they all got). 
cramping that I have with my periods, it was bad enough to wake me up at 2:30 this morning. Matt got up and brought me a Vicodin because I had already taken my full Motrin doseage. I've started some bleeding, too. I didn't have that on Friday or most of Saturday. Last night before going to bed is when I noticed some minor cramping combined with some bleeding. The note the doctor sent home said that was normal for up to 5 days. In other words... I get to experience a period twice this month! GREAT!!! I am looking forward to the "night and day" difference to my painful periods with great interest, though.



